My friend may be a fake Christian. Help?

[Aquatic_blue]

Well, I have a friend...we'll just say her name is Michelle. Well, before I knew my husband, him and his friends asked Michelle, who was in one of their college courses to come to college group. Michelle would refuse and instead asked people to go out and drink and do karaoke night with her. I've been friends with Michelle since we were in the 8th grade so I know how she is. In middle school, she was the girl who would blurt secrets out loud if she heard someone say something shocking...then a whole classroom would know a person's personal secret. Otherwise, she was a great singer, seemed like she had a friendly personality, etc. She ended up being later in high school the friend I just called a "friend" to chill out with and hang out with. She becomes obnoxious at times, and other times I can't stand to be around her. One night we went out of town and made it back and I spent the night at her house. That night, I was going to college group at a friends church like I had been on Friday nights. She said she was so bored at home while her mom was away so I asked if she would like to join me at college group. She passed the first time, but said yes to the second time around. Michelle was clearly not a Christian, but she didn't seem like an atheist, either. She brought along her Bible to the college group and didn't usually know where the books were so I helped her out. She didn't sing the songs, which is alright since she was knew and probably didn't know them, but weeks down the line she still wouldn't sing even though she has nothing to be embarrassed about because she is a great singer. Other times, she would since a couple words and then start laughing while everyone else was singing. Eventually I noticed that she would get bored during the preacher's lesson and start going on her iTouch and playing games. It annoyed me to hear the "click, click, click, click" but otherwise, it was fine, but it seemed like she was bored to death. One day I asked Michelle, "Hey, are you actually interested on going to college group or are you bored? If you're bored or don't like it then you don't have to go." Then she said, "No, I like hearing God's word and stuff. I'll go." So I was like, "Oh, okay." and let it slide. I hated it during college group when she'd curse and swear. I'd tell her to please watch her language and then she'd laugh and be like, "Oops. Oh yeah, we're in a church, huh?" I noticed that she was going after the guys she considered "cute". She would always tell me, "(name here) is soooo cute!" or, "I have a crush on (different guys name here)! Do you know if he's single?" I noticed during social time she wouldn't talk just to get to know everyone, but flirt like crazy and hit on guys right away and giggle up a storm. I didn't see that as being very Christian. She still curses, swears, takes the Lord's name in vain, and last I know...she was still going out and getting drunk. I remember at a few college group events she's like, "This is so boring! Where's the drinks?!" She tries to take an event and get people to do other stuff like go play hide and seek at a school down the street in the middle of the night, which isn't usually a good idea. I worry about her because she still seems like the same old person to me like she never became a Christian. I don't see that she has changed any. She got baptized, but I am not sure if she really knew what that meant. She's a social butterfly and I'm worried she's just doing it for the friends because at home, she just has her mom and her mom came to college group as well, but she's more of a cougar...she hits on guys way younger than her, she brings weird guys home to have sex with them (experienced that at Michelle's sleepover...not pleasant), and when she goes to bars she comes home with hangovers and didn't want to end up driving me home...she's not a very responsible adult. She also hits on the guys at college group. Michelle is one of those Christians that is in your face if you say something offensive about God and she'll tell someone that they believe they are lying and are arguing...it's a pointless argument. I don't know how to help her out...or what to even say.

Has anyone had a situation like this? I am very sorry it is so long, but I could use a few pointers if anyone has any.  

[Testicular Diabeetus]

Just pray for her and be a good influence.
You cant force her to change, she will have to do that on her own.
Heck you might want to put some distance in between you two, that is if you feel that she is bringing you down.

Maybe you should tell her how you feel when she dose those things that you don't like.
You cant expect someone to change their ways if they don't know it's bothering you.

 

[starry night-163]

Well baptism doesn't save(same as going church or anything that's not Jesus) so that didn't do her any good, if she got baptised when young, then she's oviously not saved(not that she looks like she's saved right now based on what you said). My advice is to pray for her salvation(I also suggest you pray for her mom as well, same as for help, so you can know what to do in this stutation) and never give up even if you end up praying the rest of your life(Matthew 7:7). The following I got from this sermon from a pastor I like to listen to because of his vast biblical knowkedge and it's a great sermon I suggest you listen to it or read it smile it's just there to show not to give up. "More than half a century ago, George Mueller prince of intercessors began to pray for a group of five friends...five friends. After five years, one of them came to Jesus Christ. After ten years two more of them came to Christ. He prayed for twenty-five years and the fourth man was saved. And for the fifth he prayed until the time of his death and that fifth friend came to Christ a few months after George Mueller died. For that fifth friend he prayed fifty-two years, perseverance.

Have you bailed out already? If you do, you miss the power of God." ( http://www.gty.org/Resources/Sermons/2325_The-Power-of-Faith )

Also check out these videos, they contain great advice as to what to do in your situation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46zh4R62fng

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fD3tALdpx5A  

[Aquatic_blue]

Testicular Diabeetus

Just pray for her and be a good influence.
You cant force her to change, she will have to do that on her own.
Heck you might want to put some distance in between you two, that is if you feel that she is bringing you down.

Maybe you should tell her how you feel when she dose those things that you don't like.
You cant expect someone to change their ways if they don't know it's bothering you.

I've been praying for her that she'd find the will to change. I know I can't change her unless she is willing to make that change herself, but sometimes I wonder if she doesn't really know the Bible well or what it says, or even realizes some of the things she does aren't acceptable in the Christian life.

If I talk to her again, I may say something. I mean, I've been avoiding her a bit. Sometimes I'll comment on her posts on Facebook, and I made her mad once when she said some guy interrupted her conversation in the store and said that God was a lie and she exploded in his face and all these people from her church were giving her praise for it when I don't think it was a good thing to do, honestly. So I think for that reason she may be avoiding me as well.

It brings me down a bit because I somehow feel that part of this...or most of it is my fault. I knew how she was and stuff, so I should've known that bringing her to a church would mean only "social time" for her. I just thought that inviting her may change her view on life a bit...she was always miserable because she'd go after guys all the time, get drunk, gossip like the wind, and curse up a storm...I thought it may do her some good to get to know the word better, but I suppose she isn't taking it to heart all that well. I know she's just starting out so maybe it will get better. I pray that it does.  

[Aquatic_blue]

starry night-163

Well baptism doesn't save(same as going church or anything that's not Jesus) so that didn't do her any good, if she got baptised when young, then she's oviously not saved(not that she looks like she's saved right now based on what you said). My advice is to pray for her salvation(I also suggest you pray for her mom as well, same as for help, so you can know what to do in this stutation) and never give up even if you end up praying the rest of your life(Matthew 7:7). The following I got from this sermon from a pastor I like to listen to because of his vast biblical knowkedge and it's a great sermon I suggest you listen to it or read it smile it's just there to show not to give up. "More than half a century ago, George Mueller prince of intercessors began to pray for a group of five friends...five friends. After five years, one of them came to Jesus Christ. After ten years two more of them came to Christ. He prayed for twenty-five years and the fourth man was saved. And for the fifth he prayed until the time of his death and that fifth friend came to Christ a few months after George Mueller died. For that fifth friend he prayed fifty-two years, perseverance.

Have you bailed out already? If you do, you miss the power of God." ( http://www.gty.org/Resources/Sermons/2325_The-Power-of-Faith )

Also check out these videos, they contain great advice as to what to do in your situation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46zh4R62fng

]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fD3tALdpx5A

I believe that baptism has a part in being saved...of course it depends on the situation. In her situation, I'm not sure if she knew the meaning of it. As far as I know, that church would usually baptize people in groups. They would have a class on what baptism means and that they know what they're doing. So I was wondering if like any other class she's taken, just texted someone and fell asleep or if she was really into it. I think she got baptized too soon to be honest...she didn't even know the Bible well and I think she did it to fit in with people and have a surrounding of nice people that wouldn't try to take advantage...or perhaps people she could take advantage of.

I thank you for your links. I will definitely make sure to look at them. I appreciate that you took time to post those.

I will also definitely keep praying for my friend as well as her mother. Praying seems like the best thing I can honestly do. Sometimes I was tempted just to have a bible study with my friend, but I'm not sure if she'd listen or take any of it into account...or do what she usually does...acts like she's listening just do she can get to social time at the end. I suppose I'll pray as long as it takes.  

[On_Fire_4_CHRIST]

Aquatic_blue

Testicular Diabeetus

Just pray for her and be a good influence.
You cant force her to change, she will have to do that on her own.
Heck you might want to put some distance in between you two, that is if you feel that she is bringing you down.

Maybe you should tell her how you feel when she dose those things that you don't like.
You cant expect someone to change their ways if they don't know it's bothering you.

I've been praying for her that she'd find the will to change. I know I can't change her unless she is willing to make that change herself, but sometimes I wonder if she doesn't really know the Bible well or what it says, or even realizes some of the things she does aren't acceptable in the Christian life.

If I talk to her again, I may say something. I mean, I've been avoiding her a bit. Sometimes I'll comment on her posts on Facebook, and I made her mad once when she said some guy interrupted her conversation in the store and said that God was a lie and she exploded in his face and all these people from her church were giving her praise for it when I don't think it was a good thing to do, honestly. So I think for that reason she may be avoiding me as well.

It brings me down a bit because I somehow feel that part of this...or most of it is my fault. I knew how she was and stuff, so I should've known that bringing her to a church would mean only "social time" for her. I just thought that inviting her may change her view on life a bit...she was always miserable because she'd go after guys all the time, get drunk, gossip like the wind, and curse up a storm...I thought it may do her some good to get to know the word better, but I suppose she isn't taking it to heart all that well. I know she's just starting out so maybe it will get better. I pray that it does.

It's good that you've been praying for her. And of course you can't force her to change. Clearly she doesn't know her Word, so maybe you can help her understand. smile

You should definitely talk to her again. It's usually better for friends to talk about serious things like this. So when you get the chance, take it. biggrin And I agree with you concerning the exploding in his face thing. That is definitely not something Jesus would do. Though He did rebuke, He didn't lose His temper. And obviously He hasn't lost His temper considering that after all the times we've sinned, we still exist. That probably made a bad example for people who were wondering what a Christian is really like and trying to decide whether to accept Jesus or not.

And it's not your fault at all. It is good...no, great that you invited her to church. That actually surrounds her with people who can have a better influence on her. It's her job to actually listen to God's vocie and truly follow Him. Don't feel like anything 's your fault at all. You're doing what you're supposed to be doing: rebuking, inviting to church, praying. Keep up the great work. biggrin Keep praying. "Pray without ceasing (I Thessalonians 5:17)."' Like starry said, that guy was praying for years and they finally came to Christ. You just need to keep praying too. I'll be praying for your friend as well. smile  

[Aquatic_blue]

On_Fire_4_CHRIST

Aquatic_blue

Testicular Diabeetus

Just pray for her and be a good influence.
You cant force her to change, she will have to do that on her own.
Heck you might want to put some distance in between you two, that is if you feel that she is bringing you down.

Maybe you should tell her how you feel when she dose those things that you don't like.
You cant expect someone to change their ways if they don't know it's bothering you.

I've been praying for her that she'd find the will to change. I know I can't change her unless she is willing to make that change herself, but sometimes I wonder if she doesn't really know the Bible well or what it says, or even realizes some of the things she does aren't acceptable in the Christian life.

If I talk to her again, I may say something. I mean, I've been avoiding her a bit. Sometimes I'll comment on her posts on Facebook, and I made her mad once when she said some guy interrupted her conversation in the store and said that God was a lie and she exploded in his face and all these people from her church were giving her praise for it when I don't think it was a good thing to do, honestly. So I think for that reason she may be avoiding me as well.

It brings me down a bit because I somehow feel that part of this...or most of it is my fault. I knew how she was and stuff, so I should've known that bringing her to a church would mean only "social time" for her. I just thought that inviting her may change her view on life a bit...she was always miserable because she'd go after guys all the time, get drunk, gossip like the wind, and curse up a storm...I thought it may do her some good to get to know the word better, but I suppose she isn't taking it to heart all that well. I know she's just starting out so maybe it will get better. I pray that it does.

It's good that you've been praying for her. And of course you can't force her to change. Clearly she doesn't know her Word, so maybe you can help her understand. smile

You should definitely talk to her again. It's usually better for friends to talk about serious things like this. So when you get the chance, take it. biggrin And I agree with you concerning the exploding in his face thing. That is definitely not something Jesus would do. Though He did rebuke, He didn't lose His temper. And obviously He hasn't lost His temper considering that after all the times we've sinned, we still exist. That probably made a bad example for people who were wondering what a Christian is really like and trying to decide whether to accept Jesus or not.

And it's not your fault at all. It is good...no, great that you invited her to church. That actually surrounds her with people who can have a better influence on her. It's her job to actually listen to God's vocie and truly follow Him. Don't feel like anything 's your fault at all. You're doing what you're supposed to be doing: rebuking, inviting to church, praying. Keep up the great work. biggrin Keep praying. "Pray without ceasing (I Thessalonians 5:17)."' Like starry said, that guy was praying for years and they finally came to Christ. You just need to keep praying too. I'll be praying for your friend as well. smile

Thank you for those encouraging words ^_^ it really helps a lot.

When I tried to explain to her that yelling in that man's face and telling him what he believed in a lie was a bit over the edge, she got upset. I gave her a few scriptures In Proverbs and my husband put the one from 2 Timothy, trying to tell her that Jesus did defend his faith, but he did it out of love...not out of anger. My friend did it all out of anger from what it sounded like and I tried to get her to realize the difference between shoving your belief into a person's face and stating what you believe. She got upset, started avoiding me, and told me to stop talking commenting on it on Facebook. So when I try to explain, she gets upset and stressed. It's difficult, but I have tried.

I suppose next time I get the chance to talk to her that I'll take it and hopefully try to explain in a way that doesn't make me sound like, "Oh, I'm better than you." I don't want it to lead her to giving up all together. I want to help, but she just gets so upset if I tell her the meaning of a Bible verse or that perhaps next time she should get so angry and listen with an open mind and an open heart. I just need a way to explain it or address it so it doesn't sound so snobby if you know what I mean.

Thanks for the compliment =] I don't feel as bad about it since that's what I was supposed to do. Maybe I just take it a bit personally due to my concern. Thanks for praying for my friend as well, I really appreciate it. I will also keep praying and hope that she starts following the word more. Hopefully she we understand. I suppose she is around some good influences, and she tends to like listening to one of the pastors preach so hopefully she is growing within the word a bit more than I think she is.