Why is it easier to blame GOD then to believe in HIM?

[d i m i r h e x]

I was walking my dog, reflecting on my mother`s up and coming chemo-therapy treatment.
I began wondering; why is it so easy to blame God for our misfortunes here on Earth then to actually believe in him and have faith in his great works here on Earth?

I do not blame God for my mother`s cancer, I do not blame God for horrible misfortunes that happen either.
It has crossed my mind though when I am praying and I demand God to make ________ happen.
I realize that is my short sighted fear getting crabby at God and then I quickly apologize, ask for forgiveness and explain myself.
I know he already knows but it just makes me feel better to explain everything to him.
It cleanses my soul.

That is what got me thinking, one of my prayers.
I was praying asking God to heal my mother of her bodily affliction and to please bless her and her up and coming treatment.
I was asking God to make it possible for the doctors to keep treating her until her surgery so the cancer won`t be allowed to roam free in her body.
The doctors were contemplating whether or not to keep giving her the treatments and what would happen if they stopped.
That scared me, so I began praying.

In my prayers I realized I was demanding, as if I was almost blaming God
that if he did not help us how angry I would get at him.
To me I was blaming him for possibly not helping! I felt terrible.
I quickly calmed myself down and begin to say, "Lord, I trust you.
It is scary but my faith is strong enough (no matter how small) to believe that you love us and that you are my mom`s number one cheerleader.
Please heal her of her bodily affliction and as for tomorrow let it only be a sign that she is meant to get her surgery faster if she is not allowed her treatment.
If it is your will though Lord, I pray that you will let her proceed with her treatments."

It is hard to give him full control, sometimes even scary especially when it comes to someone you love`s life.
Then I went a step further and asked God, "Why is it so hard to believe you can work miracles in MY life?"
I believe miracles can and do happen in the world, it is just harder to see them when it comes to my own personal life.
Maybe my prayers should start to include asking God to give me wisdom and understanding in my own life, to be able to see the miracles he performs in my life.

To end this story with a miracle that happened in mines and my mother`s lives is that she was able to still get her treatment, she was given another chance to keep fighting cancer. heart  

[Phantom Jutsu]

wow. crying I wish I could go over there and give you a hug! I will be keeping you and your mother in my prayers. Thank you so much for sharing this.

I don't know if this is what you want to hear, but I feel like you are in a very good place. The Lord often uses trials and hardships to mold us rely on him more. We are at our best when we're relying on God each step of the way, and always, always questioning ourselves and on the lookout for sin. Although it's hard and painful, god is already performing a miraculous work daily by taking a sinner and molding that lost sinner into something glorious to be hold. I pray that you never loose faith in our God above and that He will give both you and your mother the strength to live day by day. May the blessings of Christ be upon you. heart  

[d i m i r h e x]

Phantom Jutsu

Aw, thank you for your kindness. ^.^
I agree with you and know he is doing a great work in my life,
sometimes I just get so impatient wondering when I am going to become the person I am meant to be
and live the life I meant to through the Lord!
I guess I just get over zealous!
....patience has never been a strong suit that I have worn but I am working on it.

Still, slowly God is opening my eyes to his glorious ways, mysterious! but glorious none the less.
I just need to stop leading and let him take me by the hand.

Again, let me say thank you for your warm wishes, prayers and most of all your wisdom and kindness!
I will be reflecting on your words and talking to God about what I have learned from you, asking that he will help me to see his miracles in our lives even during hard times. heart  

[faithful quenga]

d i m i r h e x

Maybe my prayers should start to include asking God to give me wisdom and understanding in my own life, to be able to see the miracles he performs in my life.

I am a sinner... "1 John 1:8"

I really like what you said here.

I think it's exactly what we need. We need God's wisdom and understanding to see things in the correct way. We also need to focus on God's understanding and wisdom so that we may be able to do His will and let God work through us to be a blessing.

it's like Brand Heath's song "give me your eyes"

...Saved by God's grace "Acts 15:11"

 

[d i m i r h e x]

Update: July 27th 2O11

I just wanted to give this guild an update that last week (last Thursday)
my mother received her last chemo-therapy treatment.
For the next year, once every three weeks she will be getting an anti-body instead.
This is so she can start regaining her white blood cell count.
August 16th is her surgery date to remove her infected breast and then she will stay at the hospital for one-to-two days,
then she will come home where she will be restricted from moving her upper body at all for 2 weeks.
I do not know when they will run tests to see about her cancer but hopefully it is be soon!

Please pray for us:

• That my mother will have a speedy recovery after her surgery.
  
• That we will receive financial help from our church/organizations.
  
• That she will be able to keep her job.
  

Thank you so much!
 

[d i m i r h e x]

faithful quenga

Thank you for your very kind words.
I am sorry I did not see your post earlier. ^^
I agree with what you`ve said, I want everything I do to be blessed by the Lord because he has shown me his ways and I follow them!  

[Rednal]

It's human nature, I suppose. We tend to want there to be some sort of fairness in our lives; karma, if you will, that lets good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. Most people, for example, will probably feel a lot worse if an innocent family got shot than if a group of drug-dealers (involved in a dispute) had the same thing happen to them. When we can't find any reason for something to happen, it's pretty easy to rationalize that "God must have done it", but I've often felt that's the easy way out. Sometimes bad things happen, but in the grander scheme, they're just passing moments of pain.

Anyway, for your mother, d i m i r h e x, I suggest that she eat a lot of berries (strawberries, others with their seeds). Go for smoothies if that's easier, but eating a lot of healthy, natural foods may do more for her than, say, food that's merely convenient. One school of thought is that cancer is the body's healing system not shutting down when it should (something in fruit seeds helps regulate it, supposedly), and whether they're right or wrong, I don't think it could possibly hurt to try and get her really good nutrition, especially since chemotherapy is basically poison. Less sugars (I also hear cancer tends to feed on that easily), more healthy.  

[d i m i r h e x]

Rednal

I am sure you are trying to be helpful, thank you.
I agree that it is human nature to blame someone, anyone.
Sometimes that someone is God.
I like to believe that God is a big boy and can handle such trivial feelings in the heat of the moment.
I believe he is a patient and loving God and just waits for that person. 3nodding

As for my mother, we have done extensive research into natural v.s chemical.
We have married both worlds and it has worked wonders for us.
This is where I can`t help but get a little defensive in my statement as the fact I never asked for treatment advice.
And I consider this a very touchy subject and I felt that you more preached at me then anything.
Though like I said above I am going to take it as you just trying to be helpful and you did not know this would be such a personal subject.
 

[Azume-chan]

I agree with everything you said. Beautiful post. emo  

[d i m i r h e x]

Azume-chan

Aw, thank you so much. ^_^
Never got a picture of people clapping before. <3  

[Green_Fuu]

We all go through this stage sometime or another.

d i m i r h e x

Azume-chan

Aw, thank you so much. ^_^
Never got a picture of people clapping before. <3

Also,