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 Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 7:12 pm
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I don't have much to say about my self except for the fact that I'm unique. I have also kind of lost my sense of a relationship and it's been warped into something where I've already lost faith in those who date me. (first thing that pops to mind is when they are going to leave me, I have only been left but not the other way around)
Since people want to see what they get them selves into, I'm looking for a long term relationship and possibly marriage one day. It's a stretch but it's what I hope for. I live in BC, I am 17; my name is Ginzo and my overall life revolves around the computer/technology. (job, hobbies, entertainment etc)
When I mean that, I mean I have a company by the name of MChosts and I sell servers, I am also a web programmer and video game programmer/designer/modeler etc, I also like to build robots on my spare time and yes It sounds nerdy but they are really cute to make and bring to life. For entertainment I play video games and watch anime. I am also very loyal to the one I date and don't fool around with girls.
A picture of myself
http://i365.photobucket.com/albums/oo95/monckey77/209227_1799291294662_1011175646_31757175_7813922_o-1.jpg
http://i365.photobucket.com/albums/oo95/monckey77/257601_1927793907147_1011175646_31928656_333827_o.jpg
http://i365.photobucket.com/albums/oo95/monckey77/259451_1927791307082_1011175646_31928648_4664005_o.jpg
http://i365.photobucket.com/albums/oo95/monckey77/215611_1825261063890_1011175646_31791799_3323951_n.jpg
And I guess a little history cause I'm not doing that well to sell my self, how you pick this up is your choice.
Quote: I'm not too great with organizing thoughts when it comes to asking for help. But I'll do my best. about 10 months ago, I was on the verge of turning my leaf over if you know what I mean. So was this girl, her name Nicole. Nicole and I did however know each other as friends. coincidentally we both had it set for the same week, we later on fell in love with each other as we realized how much each of us had in common, it was great. 5 Months later, we pretty much loved each other so much; we had so much in common from the music we like even down to our hobbies.(which pretty much consisted of playing video games) every month I'd give her something, even though she would usually say I didn't have to, I did. It sounds great, but I forgot to mention it was an Online relationship, so naturally I couldn't give her any of the gifts. It was only till the 5 month where I actually got to see her, for the first time. Hell she was my first kiss, first hug. first person I deeply cared about enough to die for. I had given her almost all of the gifts (some in which I couldn't find or forgot about cause i was so excited to see her). It was great seeing her for the first time rather than seeing her through the webcam. It felt like I was meeting the one I was destined to one day marry. When I left, She living in Ontario, myself in BC. I had arrived home via plane. 3 days after arriving, she had told me she wanted to leave me. That's when everything went down hill. It was about a month or so and my friend had told me different "reasons" as to why she left me, he knew about the whole thing pretty much. she also told me different reasons. but none of them added up, it was lying through their teeth and it was so blunt and obvious to me. It was so obvious I didn't even want to believe she had left me and I still continued to get her presents. a Month later, she tells me the reason. She told me she was over me completely and she had finally told me the reason. she told me I had a lot going through my life (which I did) and that she didn't want to make my life worse. I begged her and pleaded that she would listen to me when I told her that I could handle it, but she just doesn't love me anymore. During the 2 months after that month(we're down to 1 month left), I had continued to email her, telling her I still loved her. Still staying loyal to her; I also talked to her whenever I can on MSN and I tried to get over her. I even tried at one point to convince my self she was just a friend. The 2 Months being second to lead of the worst of this, making death threats of my self to simply saying she betrayed me. Of course after sending one of those emails, I literally apologized 'till she was sick of hearing me say I was sorry. The last month, this one the one that hurts the most. Losing contact of her. Slowly by slowly she had removed me/blocked me from her but I still continued to email her. about half of the way through the month, the most I can do is email to her and hope she reads my emails. It was unbearable. Yesterday, It was so bad to me I had convinced my self today was the day, yet again. I had convinced my self I had died on that plane and that I was just a walking ghost. but when I woke up today, the first present I ever made for her, a heart made of metal. It must have slipped out of my pocket or something( I keep her presents I forgot to give her in my pocket and even a picture of her) but when I woke up, I was holding it in my hand. It had stopped me from doing it. But It still hurts so much, I deeply love her so much and I don't know what to do, I've talked with a few friends but they all give the same vague response of "just get over her" and that same friend who contributed to the bullshit ideas of why she left me is pretty much sick of me and my "obsession" of her. to give you an idea of how close and in common we were, she even has a gaia. Quite an old one at that too, like my self. http://link removed But of course naturally she has destroyed contact between us. I've had many other relationships, but shes the first I ever loved enough to share my kiss with, my other "kisses" were all online cause I never really found the girl for me at my high school. Please don't be too hard when commenting, I hesitated to post this unsure. But maybe just maybe I can get the advice that can help me out rather than the typical bash. People tend to be a lot lighter on these topics, one of my friends who he characterized himself as a b*****d actually gave me some enlightening advice. It wasn't enough to help me get through this but it really helped me smile for a good week or two.
^ Honestly I can't stand to read this any longer, so if you have questions it'll be based off my memory and not that.
This was from a thread, one girl had helped me out to recover from that..she then told me I should go look for someone else when I was ready, when I did find someone she was one of the first girls I dated. It didn't last long, 3 months because she had told me that she was using someone else's pictures to mask her insecurities(she was a girl for sure though cause we called each other now and then).
That was about 2-4 months ago though, so I'm over it. I've had another bad experience before nicole but it was more like he was pretending to be a "she" for about 2 years. That should cover it.
Well I'm all done, if you still want to consider me, then you have an idea of what I am, just broken on the inside.
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 4:14 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 4:42 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 7:22 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 7:46 pm
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Pei de Chine monckey77 Pei de Chine ...yikes. Why don't you consider dating someone in real life? It sounds like you've had a lot of experience online, and most of them were bad ones. cause when your in a school where most girls are wearing shorts almost as short as underwear, and where their personality all falls under the "let's get drunk and high woo", you don't really feel like you fit in that well. The girls whom are decent are already taken and I don't like stepping in and causing commotion like a narwhale.
Huh, that sucks. Have you considered joining stuff outside of school? Like volunteering and stuff?
the military ;-; |
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 8:01 pm
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monckey77 Pei de Chine monckey77 Pei de Chine ...yikes. Why don't you consider dating someone in real life? It sounds like you've had a lot of experience online, and most of them were bad ones. cause when your in a school where most girls are wearing shorts almost as short as underwear, and where their personality all falls under the "let's get drunk and high woo", you don't really feel like you fit in that well. The girls whom are decent are already taken and I don't like stepping in and causing commotion like a narwhale.
Huh, that sucks. Have you considered joining stuff outside of school? Like volunteering and stuff?the military ;-;
I actually have some friends who are training to be in the military right now, if that makes you feel any better............?
You're still young though, I don't think there's any reason to feel too worried about finding a soulmate. |
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Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 3:33 am
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 2:50 pm
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monckey77 I don't have much to say about my self except for the fact that I'm unique. I have also kind of lost my sense of a relationship and it's been warped into something where I've already lost faith in those who date me. (first thing that pops to mind is when they are going to leave me, I have only been left but not the other way around) Since people want to see what they get them selves into, I'm looking for a long term relationship and possibly marriage one day. It's a stretch but it's what I hope for. I live in BC, I am 17; my name is Ginzo and my overall life revolves around the computer/technology. (job, hobbies, entertainment etc) When I mean that, I mean I have a company by the name of MChosts and I sell servers, I am also a web programmer and video game programmer/designer/modeler etc, I also like to build robots on my spare time and yes It sounds nerdy but they are really cute to make and bring to life. For entertainment I play video games and watch anime. I am also very loyal to the one I date and don't fool around with girls. A picture of myself http://i365.photobucket.com/albums/oo95/monckey77/209227_1799291294662_1011175646_31757175_7813922_o-1.jpg http://i365.photobucket.com/albums/oo95/monckey77/257601_1927793907147_1011175646_31928656_333827_o.jpg http://i365.photobucket.com/albums/oo95/monckey77/259451_1927791307082_1011175646_31928648_4664005_o.jpg http://i365.photobucket.com/albums/oo95/monckey77/215611_1825261063890_1011175646_31791799_3323951_n.jpg And I guess a little history cause I'm not doing that well to sell my self, how you pick this up is your choice. Quote: I'm not too great with organizing thoughts when it comes to asking for help. But I'll do my best. about 10 months ago, I was on the verge of turning my leaf over if you know what I mean. So was this girl, her name Nicole. Nicole and I did however know each other as friends. coincidentally we both had it set for the same week, we later on fell in love with each other as we realized how much each of us had in common, it was great. 5 Months later, we pretty much loved each other so much; we had so much in common from the music we like even down to our hobbies.(which pretty much consisted of playing video games) every month I'd give her something, even though she would usually say I didn't have to, I did. It sounds great, but I forgot to mention it was an Online relationship, so naturally I couldn't give her any of the gifts. It was only till the 5 month where I actually got to see her, for the first time. Hell she was my first kiss, first hug. first person I deeply cared about enough to die for. I had given her almost all of the gifts (some in which I couldn't find or forgot about cause i was so excited to see her). It was great seeing her for the first time rather than seeing her through the webcam. It felt like I was meeting the one I was destined to one day marry. When I left, She living in Ontario, myself in BC. I had arrived home via plane. 3 days after arriving, she had told me she wanted to leave me. That's when everything went down hill. It was about a month or so and my friend had told me different "reasons" as to why she left me, he knew about the whole thing pretty much. she also told me different reasons. but none of them added up, it was lying through their teeth and it was so blunt and obvious to me. It was so obvious I didn't even want to believe she had left me and I still continued to get her presents. a Month later, she tells me the reason. She told me she was over me completely and she had finally told me the reason. she told me I had a lot going through my life (which I did) and that she didn't want to make my life worse. I begged her and pleaded that she would listen to me when I told her that I could handle it, but she just doesn't love me anymore. During the 2 months after that month(we're down to 1 month left), I had continued to email her, telling her I still loved her. Still staying loyal to her; I also talked to her whenever I can on MSN and I tried to get over her. I even tried at one point to convince my self she was just a friend. The 2 Months being second to lead of the worst of this, making death threats of my self to simply saying she betrayed me. Of course after sending one of those emails, I literally apologized 'till she was sick of hearing me say I was sorry. The last month, this one the one that hurts the most. Losing contact of her. Slowly by slowly she had removed me/blocked me from her but I still continued to email her. about half of the way through the month, the most I can do is email to her and hope she reads my emails. It was unbearable. Yesterday, It was so bad to me I had convinced my self today was the day, yet again. I had convinced my self I had died on that plane and that I was just a walking ghost. but when I woke up today, the first present I ever made for her, a heart made of metal. It must have slipped out of my pocket or something( I keep her presents I forgot to give her in my pocket and even a picture of her) but when I woke up, I was holding it in my hand. It had stopped me from doing it. But It still hurts so much, I deeply love her so much and I don't know what to do, I've talked with a few friends but they all give the same vague response of "just get over her" and that same friend who contributed to the bullshit ideas of why she left me is pretty much sick of me and my "obsession" of her. to give you an idea of how close and in common we were, she even has a gaia. Quite an old one at that too, like my self. http://link removed But of course naturally she has destroyed contact between us. I've had many other relationships, but shes the first I ever loved enough to share my kiss with, my other "kisses" were all online cause I never really found the girl for me at my high school. Please don't be too hard when commenting, I hesitated to post this unsure. But maybe just maybe I can get the advice that can help me out rather than the typical bash. People tend to be a lot lighter on these topics, one of my friends who he characterized himself as a b*****d actually gave me some enlightening advice. It wasn't enough to help me get through this but it really helped me smile for a good week or two. ^ Honestly I can't stand to read this any longer, so if you have questions it'll be based off my memory and not that. This was from a thread, one girl had helped me out to recover from that..she then told me I should go look for someone else when I was ready, when I did find someone she was one of the first girls I dated. It didn't last long, 3 months because she had told me that she was using someone else's pictures to mask her insecurities(she was a girl for sure though cause we called each other now and then). That was about 2-4 months ago though, so I'm over it. I've had another bad experience before nicole but it was more like he was pretending to be a "she" for about 2 years. That should cover it. Well I'm all done, if you still want to consider me, then you have an idea of what I am, just broken on the inside. |
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Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 12:00 pm
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Hello! I'm 16 years, gonna be 17 next month.
I know you might not be interested, but at least read it.
I'm a junior in high school, all AP classes and soon (hopefully) a student at Boston University. I am pretty serious about my education. I want to become a film director someday..
I love video games, and usually play sandbox games.
My hobbies include drawing, playing my flute, singing badly, dancing like nobody's looking, writing new stories, brainstorming for new films, and doing research for a number of different subjects (I'm a very curious person). I also play ice hockey, but once again I'm not too good in it. Still fun. I'm also very worldly and am VERY interested in international affairs. My goal before leaving to Boston is to learn 2 more languages (I know English and can understand Spanish). And I'm very determined.
I love friends and cannot stand being alone or without humans around me. I especially love making new friends. So if I ask to meet yours, please introduce me to them.
I'm not very optimistic. I'm not a pessimist either. I prefer to look at things through a realistic point of view. "The optimist hopes for better wind, the pessimist complains about it, and the realist adjusts the sails" That is the quote I live by most of the time. I'm logical, analytic, and not emotional at all (I don't have moodswings). I'm also very talkitive, and love to meet new people and just talk.
How am I relationship wise? Hmm..that's a good question. I'm not sure. I do know I have a bit of commitment issues, and it isn't because of any past horrible relationship, but because that's how i've been all my life. I've moved around a lot as a child and just grew to like it, thus routine bores me and every now and then I need a change. Does that mean a change in relationships? No. It just means that maybe we should "take the next step", I suppose. I also HATE drama with a passion, and think that a relationship should run as smoothly as possible. I will not cheat on your or break your heart or do anything to stir negative emotions. Why? I would feel bad, and also I do not like things to be bumpy.
What am I looking for? Nothing much. I'm pansexual, and I really don't care about looks. I cannot fall in love with someone because they're beautiful on the outside; it also must come from within as well. Does that mean we were destined to be? Maybe. Should we date? I wouldn't mind giving it a go. And if it doesn't work out? It doesn't work out.
I know this is kind of old, and you probably won't reply anyway. But I was just wondering. I mean, you seem like a pretty neat guy, and I wouldn't mind trying something out. Besides, I'm moving up north pretty soon, and it would be cool if we could hang out for real.
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Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 3:30 pm
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n1hao Hello! I'm 16 years, gonna be 17 next month. I know you might not be interested, but at least read it. I'm a junior in high school, all AP classes and soon (hopefully) a student at Boston University. I am pretty serious about my education. I want to become a film director someday.. I love video games, and usually play sandbox games. My hobbies include drawing, playing my flute, singing badly, dancing like nobody's looking, writing new stories, brainstorming for new films, and doing research for a number of different subjects (I'm a very curious person). I also play ice hockey, but once again I'm not too good in it. Still fun. I'm also very worldly and am VERY interested in international affairs. My goal before leaving to Boston is to learn 2 more languages (I know English and can understand Spanish). And I'm very determined. I love friends and cannot stand being alone or without humans around me. I especially love making new friends. So if I ask to meet yours, please introduce me to them. I'm not very optimistic. I'm not a pessimist either. I prefer to look at things through a realistic point of view. "The optimist hopes for better wind, the pessimist complains about it, and the realist adjusts the sails" That is the quote I live by most of the time. I'm logical, analytic, and not emotional at all (I don't have moodswings). I'm also very talkitive, and love to meet new people and just talk. How am I relationship wise? Hmm..that's a good question. I'm not sure. I do know I have a bit of commitment issues, and it isn't because of any past horrible relationship, but because that's how i've been all my life. I've moved around a lot as a child and just grew to like it, thus routine bores me and every now and then I need a change. Does that mean a change in relationships? No. It just means that maybe we should "take the next step", I suppose. I also HATE drama with a passion, and think that a relationship should run as smoothly as possible. I will not cheat on your or break your heart or do anything to stir negative emotions. Why? I would feel bad, and also I do not like things to be bumpy. What am I looking for? Nothing much. I'm pansexual, and I really don't care about looks. I cannot fall in love with someone because they're beautiful on the outside; it also must come from within as well. Does that mean we were destined to be? Maybe. Should we date? I wouldn't mind giving it a go. And if it doesn't work out? It doesn't work out. I know this is kind of old, and you probably won't reply anyway. But I was just wondering. I mean, you seem like a pretty neat guy, and I wouldn't mind trying something out. Besides, I'm moving up north pretty soon, and it would be cool if we could hang out for real.
I read through every single post, even read through each paragraph or sentence three times. I'm not the kind to ignore and I've opened my self to anyone willing to play with a broken toy due for disposal.
I'll tell you what i told Sil3nt...I'm with a gf, its kind of passive at the moment...I never leave girls who I end up dating because theres always that chance that they might just accept me and that they are the one.
So when you think of it, no matter how much I love a girl, in the end I'm just happy to be with her in the first place.
Sadly shes almost never around so I don't know how long thats going to last [they usually stop talking and eventually starting cheating, lol. rhythmic], none the less..if you want to be friends and talk that would be great, I also wouldn't mind hanging out once you move
Edit: And she's gone, the fact that i didn't like her type of music ruined a few months of a relationship and possibly a few years of friendship, how fun. |
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Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 9:00 pm
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monckey77 n1hao Hello! I'm 16 years, gonna be 17 next month. I know you might not be interested, but at least read it. I'm a junior in high school, all AP classes and soon (hopefully) a student at Boston University. I am pretty serious about my education. I want to become a film director someday.. I love video games, and usually play sandbox games. My hobbies include drawing, playing my flute, singing badly, dancing like nobody's looking, writing new stories, brainstorming for new films, and doing research for a number of different subjects (I'm a very curious person). I also play ice hockey, but once again I'm not too good in it. Still fun. I'm also very worldly and am VERY interested in international affairs. My goal before leaving to Boston is to learn 2 more languages (I know English and can understand Spanish). And I'm very determined. I love friends and cannot stand being alone or without humans around me. I especially love making new friends. So if I ask to meet yours, please introduce me to them. I'm not very optimistic. I'm not a pessimist either. I prefer to look at things through a realistic point of view. "The optimist hopes for better wind, the pessimist complains about it, and the realist adjusts the sails" That is the quote I live by most of the time. I'm logical, analytic, and not emotional at all (I don't have moodswings). I'm also very talkitive, and love to meet new people and just talk. How am I relationship wise? Hmm..that's a good question. I'm not sure. I do know I have a bit of commitment issues, and it isn't because of any past horrible relationship, but because that's how i've been all my life. I've moved around a lot as a child and just grew to like it, thus routine bores me and every now and then I need a change. Does that mean a change in relationships? No. It just means that maybe we should "take the next step", I suppose. I also HATE drama with a passion, and think that a relationship should run as smoothly as possible. I will not cheat on your or break your heart or do anything to stir negative emotions. Why? I would feel bad, and also I do not like things to be bumpy. What am I looking for? Nothing much. I'm pansexual, and I really don't care about looks. I cannot fall in love with someone because they're beautiful on the outside; it also must come from within as well. Does that mean we were destined to be? Maybe. Should we date? I wouldn't mind giving it a go. And if it doesn't work out? It doesn't work out. I know this is kind of old, and you probably won't reply anyway. But I was just wondering. I mean, you seem like a pretty neat guy, and I wouldn't mind trying something out. Besides, I'm moving up north pretty soon, and it would be cool if we could hang out for real. I read through every single post, even read through each paragraph or sentence three times. I'm not the kind to ignore and I've opened my self to anyone willing to play with a broken toy due for disposal. I'll tell you what i told Sil3nt...I'm with a gf, its kind of passive at the moment...I never leave girls who I end up dating because theres always that chance that they might just accept me and that they are the one. So when you think of it, no matter how much I love a girl, in the end I'm just happy to be with her in the first place. Sadly shes almost never around so I don't know how long thats going to last [they usually stop talking and eventually starting cheating, lol. rhythmic], none the less..if you want to be friends and talk that would be great, I also wouldn't mind hanging out once you move Edit: And she's gone, the fact that i didn't like her type of music ruined a few months of a relationship and possibly a few years of friendship, how fun.
So...you're taken?
Hahaha well you still seem cool I wouldn't mind being friends. |
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Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 9:09 pm
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n1hao monckey77 n1hao Hello! I'm 16 years, gonna be 17 next month. I know you might not be interested, but at least read it. I'm a junior in high school, all AP classes and soon (hopefully) a student at Boston University. I am pretty serious about my education. I want to become a film director someday.. I love video games, and usually play sandbox games. My hobbies include drawing, playing my flute, singing badly, dancing like nobody's looking, writing new stories, brainstorming for new films, and doing research for a number of different subjects (I'm a very curious person). I also play ice hockey, but once again I'm not too good in it. Still fun. I'm also very worldly and am VERY interested in international affairs. My goal before leaving to Boston is to learn 2 more languages (I know English and can understand Spanish). And I'm very determined. I love friends and cannot stand being alone or without humans around me. I especially love making new friends. So if I ask to meet yours, please introduce me to them. I'm not very optimistic. I'm not a pessimist either. I prefer to look at things through a realistic point of view. "The optimist hopes for better wind, the pessimist complains about it, and the realist adjusts the sails" That is the quote I live by most of the time. I'm logical, analytic, and not emotional at all (I don't have moodswings). I'm also very talkitive, and love to meet new people and just talk. How am I relationship wise? Hmm..that's a good question. I'm not sure. I do know I have a bit of commitment issues, and it isn't because of any past horrible relationship, but because that's how i've been all my life. I've moved around a lot as a child and just grew to like it, thus routine bores me and every now and then I need a change. Does that mean a change in relationships? No. It just means that maybe we should "take the next step", I suppose. I also HATE drama with a passion, and think that a relationship should run as smoothly as possible. I will not cheat on your or break your heart or do anything to stir negative emotions. Why? I would feel bad, and also I do not like things to be bumpy. What am I looking for? Nothing much. I'm pansexual, and I really don't care about looks. I cannot fall in love with someone because they're beautiful on the outside; it also must come from within as well. Does that mean we were destined to be? Maybe. Should we date? I wouldn't mind giving it a go. And if it doesn't work out? It doesn't work out. I know this is kind of old, and you probably won't reply anyway. But I was just wondering. I mean, you seem like a pretty neat guy, and I wouldn't mind trying something out. Besides, I'm moving up north pretty soon, and it would be cool if we could hang out for real. I read through every single post, even read through each paragraph or sentence three times. I'm not the kind to ignore and I've opened my self to anyone willing to play with a broken toy due for disposal. I'll tell you what i told Sil3nt...I'm with a gf, its kind of passive at the moment...I never leave girls who I end up dating because theres always that chance that they might just accept me and that they are the one. So when you think of it, no matter how much I love a girl, in the end I'm just happy to be with her in the first place. Sadly shes almost never around so I don't know how long thats going to last [they usually stop talking and eventually starting cheating, lol. rhythmic], none the less..if you want to be friends and talk that would be great, I also wouldn't mind hanging out once you move Edit: And she's gone, the fact that i didn't like her type of music ruined a few months of a relationship and possibly a few years of friendship, how fun. So...you're taken? Hahaha well you still seem cool I wouldn't mind being friends.
no not anymore, lol. she bickered and made it pretty obvious we're done |
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