I'm not worth anything because I have no talents and am not really good at anything. .-. I've just been incredibly depressed for a while, and I try to hold it in, because no one really cares, or can help or anything. I can't go to a dr or whatever to get anti-depressants, because no ins and no money.
Idk what to do really. People just say s**t like "Do something that makes you happy", but nothing really does. It all just distracts from the depression, but I'm still left as a distracted, apathetic, zombified shell.
Idk what to do anymore.
If our love's insanity why are you my clarity?
Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 7:20 am
Seridut
If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy?
I'm not worth anything because I have no talents and am not really good at anything. .-. I've just been incredibly depressed for a while, and I try to hold it in, because no one really cares, or can help or anything. I can't go to a dr or whatever to get anti-depressants, because no ins and no money.
Idk what to do really. People just say s**t like "Do something that makes you happy", but nothing really does. It all just distracts from the depression, but I'm still left as a distracted, apathetic, zombified shell.
Idk what to do anymore.
If our love's insanity why are you my clarity?
Aww hun, *hugs*
Do you mind telling me more about what you're going through? I'd love to listen. I may not be able to help you, but would be good to release whatever you're feeling
emotion_hugemotion_hug
Artistic Wizard
Angelic Spirit
Offline
Aries Ascended
Offline
Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 7:50 am
Artistic Wizard
Seridut
If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy?
I'm not worth anything because I have no talents and am not really good at anything. .-. I've just been incredibly depressed for a while, and I try to hold it in, because no one really cares, or can help or anything. I can't go to a dr or whatever to get anti-depressants, because no ins and no money.
Idk what to do really. People just say s**t like "Do something that makes you happy", but nothing really does. It all just distracts from the depression, but I'm still left as a distracted, apathetic, zombified shell.
Idk what to do anymore.
If our love's insanity why are you my clarity?
Aww hun, *hugs*
Do you mind telling me more about what you're going through? I'd love to listen. I may not be able to help you, but would be good to release whatever you're feeling
emotion_hugemotion_hug
If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy?
It's a buildup of a lot really. Every since I was little, I never really had a lot of friends. Everyone just kinda didn't like me. When I was little, I didn't care. Jr High rolled around, I made a few more friends, but the majority of my classmates still hated me for no reason. Then my dad died, and they all of a sudden became nice, and I basically just told em to step off (but in much much ruder terms). High school was the same thing, people being mean for no reason, rumours flying, someone told the teacher I was pregnant because I was getting fat from all the stress of dealing with mean people, and she wouldn't listen to me, and instead called my mother. Insert big sit down with the guidance counselor (who didnt even do her job anyways), and more rumours came out of that.
I've never been one of the pretty popular girls, I don't have any talents, as my family is more than eager to point out, I'm unemployed, because I dont have money for a car to get a job oout of town, and no one in town is hiring.
I can't keep a relationship for more than a few months, because most of the people cheat on me, or they think that I'm cheating, which I'm not, and they leave. Doesn't help the self-esteem any, and now I've got trust issues on top of self esteem issues.
Overall it's made me a really angry hateful person, and I take most of it out on myself. Now I'm convinced that maybe if I was good at something, or was prettier, or was just someone other than myself, then I'd have friends who wouldn't use me and then toss me aside when I don't have anything left for them.
The worst part of it is my current best friend. It's not so much him, it's me. We're kinda fwb, but not so much anymore. I'm just waiting for him to decide that I'm not worth it anymore either, and disappear like the others. I eel bad, because I shouldn't expect him to, but I don't feel like I've got anything to give in a friendship or relationship or anything and I've started to push him away towards other people that i know he doesn't fight with all the time and I know he would rather be involved with. He says he doesn't know what he wants, but he lets things slip and its the way he words some of it, that I know he's not entirely happy with our arrangement, but he never says straight out that he wants to change it, but he won't actually commit. Not to me at least.
Basically, I feel ugly and useless, and I'm unhappy with my life and I feel trapped in it, because I can't commit suicide because of my son, self harming would only start more fights, and it doesn't even help, and I just don't know what to do anymore.
If our love's insanity why are you my clarity?
Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 8:11 am
Seridut
If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy?
It's a buildup of a lot really. Every since I was little, I never really had a lot of friends. Everyone just kinda didn't like me. When I was little, I didn't care. Jr High rolled around, I made a few more friends, but the majority of my classmates still hated me for no reason. Then my dad died, and they all of a sudden became nice, and I basically just told em to step off (but in much much ruder terms). High school was the same thing, people being mean for no reason, rumours flying, someone told the teacher I was pregnant because I was getting fat from all the stress of dealing with mean people, and she wouldn't listen to me, and instead called my mother. Insert big sit down with the guidance counselor (who didnt even do her job anyways), and more rumours came out of that.
I've never been one of the pretty popular girls, I don't have any talents, as my family is more than eager to point out, I'm unemployed, because I dont have money for a car to get a job oout of town, and no one in town is hiring.
I can't keep a relationship for more than a few months, because most of the people cheat on me, or they think that I'm cheating, which I'm not, and they leave. Doesn't help the self-esteem any, and now I've got trust issues on top of self esteem issues.
Overall it's made me a really angry hateful person, and I take most of it out on myself. Now I'm convinced that maybe if I was good at something, or was prettier, or was just someone other than myself, then I'd have friends who wouldn't use me and then toss me aside when I don't have anything left for them.
The worst part of it is my current best friend. It's not so much him, it's me. We're kinda fwb, but not so much anymore. I'm just waiting for him to decide that I'm not worth it anymore either, and disappear like the others. I eel bad, because I shouldn't expect him to, but I don't feel like I've got anything to give in a friendship or relationship or anything and I've started to push him away towards other people that i know he doesn't fight with all the time and I know he would rather be involved with. He says he doesn't know what he wants, but he lets things slip and its the way he words some of it, that I know he's not entirely happy with our arrangement, but he never says straight out that he wants to change it, but he won't actually commit. Not to me at least.
Basically, I feel ugly and useless, and I'm unhappy with my life and I feel trapped in it, because I can't commit suicide because of my son, self harming would only start more fights, and it doesn't even help, and I just don't know what to do anymore.
If our love's insanity why are you my clarity?
That's quite hard to deal with hun, no one deserves to feel unwanted.
Just so you know, I'm here for you, and.. you are not talented nor useless!
You made massive amounts of donations to my giveaway for the past months- though they maybe just pixel items, it shows that you have a helping heart, and it shows through your kind gesture smile
That is a lot deal with, but it starts with yourself. I may not be a psychologist or something, but I will pray for you!
In life, I also believe that, we are given these trials because He knows we can overcome them. Therefore, you should not lose hope, endure!
We are given these problems, not to be discouraged, but to look beyond it and solve it little by little.
And most of all... I've been through that phase in my life as well- I was obese as a kid, I've always been picked on since grade school. I never had real friends that stuck with me to the end, till now, I realize that a lot of people who I thought were my friends are suddenly disappearing. That's life I guess. You can only learn who cares for you in the end.. and that's who matters, the rest of the world is a gigantic blur.
So, NEVR NEVER NEVER GIVE UP ON LIFE! It's such a beautiful world to live in, you just have to change your perception <3
Artistic Wizard
Angelic Spirit
Offline
Aries Ascended
Offline
Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 2:48 pm
Artistic Wizard
Seridut
If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy?
It's a buildup of a lot really. Every since I was little, I never really had a lot of friends. Everyone just kinda didn't like me. When I was little, I didn't care. Jr High rolled around, I made a few more friends, but the majority of my classmates still hated me for no reason. Then my dad died, and they all of a sudden became nice, and I basically just told em to step off (but in much much ruder terms). High school was the same thing, people being mean for no reason, rumours flying, someone told the teacher I was pregnant because I was getting fat from all the stress of dealing with mean people, and she wouldn't listen to me, and instead called my mother. Insert big sit down with the guidance counselor (who didnt even do her job anyways), and more rumours came out of that.
I've never been one of the pretty popular girls, I don't have any talents, as my family is more than eager to point out, I'm unemployed, because I dont have money for a car to get a job oout of town, and no one in town is hiring.
I can't keep a relationship for more than a few months, because most of the people cheat on me, or they think that I'm cheating, which I'm not, and they leave. Doesn't help the self-esteem any, and now I've got trust issues on top of self esteem issues.
Overall it's made me a really angry hateful person, and I take most of it out on myself. Now I'm convinced that maybe if I was good at something, or was prettier, or was just someone other than myself, then I'd have friends who wouldn't use me and then toss me aside when I don't have anything left for them.
The worst part of it is my current best friend. It's not so much him, it's me. We're kinda fwb, but not so much anymore. I'm just waiting for him to decide that I'm not worth it anymore either, and disappear like the others. I eel bad, because I shouldn't expect him to, but I don't feel like I've got anything to give in a friendship or relationship or anything and I've started to push him away towards other people that i know he doesn't fight with all the time and I know he would rather be involved with. He says he doesn't know what he wants, but he lets things slip and its the way he words some of it, that I know he's not entirely happy with our arrangement, but he never says straight out that he wants to change it, but he won't actually commit. Not to me at least.
Basically, I feel ugly and useless, and I'm unhappy with my life and I feel trapped in it, because I can't commit suicide because of my son, self harming would only start more fights, and it doesn't even help, and I just don't know what to do anymore.
If our love's insanity why are you my clarity?
That's quite hard to deal with hun, no one deserves to feel unwanted.
Just so you know, I'm here for you, and.. you are not talented nor useless!
You made massive amounts of donations to my giveaway for the past months- though they maybe just pixel items, it shows that you have a helping heart, and it shows through your kind gesture smile
That is a lot deal with, but it starts with yourself. I may not be a psychologist or something, but I will pray for you!
In life, I also believe that, we are given these trials because He knows we can overcome them. Therefore, you should not lose hope, endure!
We are given these problems, not to be discouraged, but to look beyond it and solve it little by little.
And most of all... I've been through that phase in my life as well- I was obese as a kid, I've always been picked on since grade school. I never had real friends that stuck with me to the end, till now, I realize that a lot of people who I thought were my friends are suddenly disappearing. That's life I guess. You can only learn who cares for you in the end.. and that's who matters, the rest of the world is a gigantic blur.
So, NEVR NEVER NEVER GIVE UP ON LIFE! It's such a beautiful world to live in, you just have to change your perception <3
If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy?
It's always hard to tell who your real friends are, I guess that's why they say to keep your enemies closer. Easier to tell when something big happens, I suppose.
Jesus isn't my deity of choice, but I appreciate the prayers and welcome them all the same. <3 Your welcome, for the donations btw. ^^ I'll keep sending em as I get items in.
Thank you, for talking to me. It's helped alot. ^^ I really appreciate it. I'll try to not be so hard on myself and others. ^^
If our love's insanity why are you my clarity?
Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 6:21 am
Seridut
You are wlecome! And if you ever need anyone to talk too, Im right here to listen, Im just a PM away hun <3 SMILE! I know it's not yet the end, your happiness is just beginning <3
Artistic Wizard
Angelic Spirit
Offline
Sarcasdick
Dangerous Gatekeeper
Offline
Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 6:55 am
Artistic Wizard
Seridut
You are wlecome! And if you ever need anyone to talk too, Im right here to listen, Im just a PM away hun <3 SMILE! I know it's not yet the end, your happiness is just beginning <3
If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy?
(I switch back and forth between accounts, don't be alarmed by the name change. c: )
I'll keep you in mind, dearie, and you can come to me to talk too, if you need to. <3 Thank you, very very much. I hope it comes soon, it's been very much delayed. lol
