[PRP] Ghosts of the pride (Amakhaza x Kuhasa)

[Tanakako]

Amakhaza struggled to control the shakes that threatened to take over her limbs. Not now! She begged, forcing one paw to release its grip on the ground, claws leaving perfect divots in the dry and cracked earth as she tugged free. Pushing forwards through the terror that squeezed down on her chest like a buffollo sitting on it, she placed the newly liberated paw back down in front of her, instantly feeling her traitorous claws sink deep into the ground once again. Gingerly putting her weight on it she sucked in a sharp, ragged breath. She didn't look back, knowing that if she let herself catch sight of the ride behind her, she would loose her nerve and rush back over to them.

No! She would not break! She had to overcome her fear! Gritting her teeth she peeled another paw off the gruond and pushed forwards. One more step. Flicking her gaze up she spotted the boulder she had managed to reach yesterday so with a lashing tail she forced her legs to move again.

Eventually, shaking and sweating she reached the rock. Fear was like a cold fire ni her limbs, stealing away all of her strength even as it set her skin burning and created a ringing in her ears that was painful. But she refused to be beaten. The irrational terror that had gripped her ever since she was a cub was her own personal demon and she refused to let it win! With her body shaking so hard it almost tipped her off her paws, she forced herself three more steps, until her tail tip slapped against the rock that was now behind her.

Finally her strength gave out and she collapsed in heap, trembling so bad she wondered if she was raising her own personal dust cloud with the shaking of her body. Everything within her screamed for her to race back to her pride sisters as fast as she could go. But this was the second part of her daily trial. She forced herself to stay where she was as the terror ebbed and flowed, seizing her chest and stealing her breath only to ease off and instead attack her skin, making her alternate between a firey heat and a freezing chill.  

[Tanakako]

For a brief, mad moment she thought the voice was inside her head. So disabled by her agoraphobia was she. But then she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. Whipping her head round she stared up at the big pale lion walking towards her. Relief and dispair flooded her limbs, driving a soft, quiet sob of mingled frustration and joy from her as she scrambled over to him and very nearly barreling directly into his legs as she cowered against him.

She hated herself for the action, for giving into her weakness and yet the relief of just being near someone was profound. Shaking against his forelegs she cluld only manage the barest of nods for a long moment. Struggling against her tumultious emotions ratehr than her irrationnterror this time. But eventually her breathing stooped being so wild and ragged and she managed to suck in enough air to form semi-coherant sentances.

"Yes. Yes. I'm sorry. God, sorry." Burying her face in the crook of one foreleg she cursed herself up, down and sideways for falling apart so spectacularly in front of a near stranger. It was bad enough that her very few friends in the pride knew of her problem. But for one of the males to see it... and the new Inselelo of all things. She was just about ready to die of shame. She was a very proud lioness and was desperate to get away from him, to retain as much dignity as she possibly could, but it was impossible to leave the safety of his nearness. The very idea of it sent her heart spasming inside her chest. She would need quite a bit of time to recover from her ordeal befroe she could move away from him again.

Ecavi

 

[Tanakako]

She was completely unaware of his surprise, being as she had her head buried in her front paws. But eventually his gentle voice cut through her fear and tugged on the fractured bits of her still-whirling thoughts. He sounded so.... sure and certain, so steady that she felt safe for the first time in weeks. Shaking still she pressed even closer to him, her emotions a raging mess. Upset at her own weakness, fright from her irrational fears, embarrassment tainting the swirling mass of it. She could feel where tars started to wet her fur and she sniffed heavily, refusing to give into the emotional turmoil that was threatening to incapacitate her.

After several minutes of deep breathing to try and steady her racing heart and regain her composure, she finally lifted her head to nervously look up at him. "Can you pretend this didn't happen?" She asked him, her voice unsteady. If she couldn’t erase the last few hours from existence, then denial was the next best thing.

Ecavi

Sorry, I've been sick and it killed my rp mojo.

 

[Tanakako]

His question made her drop her head, a ragged sigh escaping. She supposed that he deserved an explanation, after she had litterslly thrown herself at him. Damnit, why did she have to be so mentally faulty. Reluctantly she looked back up, ears pressing back against her head.

"Promise you won't tell anyone?" She half begged, half demanded. "I'm agoraphobic." She winced, half expecting him to laugh or move away in disgust. To be fair, most of those she had told had been perfectly accepting of her problem, it was Amakhaza herself who had such a deep-seated issue that only compounded her phobia.

Ecavi

 

[Tanakako]

At least he didn't immediately start to tease or berate her, she thought as he looked at her with what she assumed was curiosity. Both responses were her usual expectation, her few friends tended to do the later, and the rest of the pride the former. Or at least those pride members that found out about her problem anyway. After a moment of studying the big male she flicked a glance back at the rock that had been her goal not so long ago and she grimaced. "I was trying to reach that rock." She finally admitted. "I did it yesterday." She added, as if that would explain her strange desire to be near a large stone.

Usually she wasn't such a bad conversationalist, but her mind was still whirling with the dregs of her recent terror, and it would be some long minutes yet before she was more herself.

Ecavi

 

[Tanakako]

Relief that he wasn't going to push her for a more through explanation surged through her. She generally didn’t like others knowing of her issue, it was embarrassing and stupid and no one else seemed to have a problem just being away from the pride. Yet she turned into a shaking, drooling mess any time she was out of sight of her pridemates. Scowling at herself she didn’t even bother lying in her own head and resisting his offer. Usually, her trips out to which ever landmark she had picked that day ended with her bolting full speed back home, and then she would spend an hour shaking and shivering as she tried to get over both the panic attack she had put herself through, and the adrenaline laced race back to the pride.

This outcome, while far more mortifying socially, was far preferable to the usual mess. Finally peeling herself away from where she had clung to his forelegs, she gathered herself and stood. "I'd rather not." She replied, able to bring herself to look him in the eye. She of course meant that she would prefer not to pretend he wasn't there, not that she didn’t want to go back with him. And besides, pretending wouldn't work. Phobias were far from logical and now that she had a companion, the fear wouldn't return.

"I'm Amakhaza." She offered as she shifted round to his side, facing back towards the direction the pride lay, remembering that she hadn't actually introduced herself during the mayhem.

Ecavi

 

[Tanakako]

The pale lioness looked up at the big male for a long moment, but then nodded and moved towards the rock. She did take a moment to look around it once they got there, fear tripping down her spine as she stood where she had been earlier, and yesterday, and the day before that. Taking a slow, careful breath she pushed the ghost-fear back down deep inside her and turned her back on that most hated spot.

"Lets go." She said quietly, surprising herself with how small her own voice sounded. But she didn't repeat herself, simply took another breath and set off back towards the pride. She honestly couldn't get away from the stone fast enough, but she never moved more than three paces away from Kuhasa. She couldn't, not after the terror she had felt so recently. It would be at least several hours before she started to come down off that tormented precipice of scrambled emotions and reverted to her more usual self.

Ecavi

Fin?