[PRP] Past Mistakes (Thuli, Kala) - FIN

[Mogami]

(I really need to fix this cert - she's an Umzingeli now)

It shamed Thuli greatly that she’d been so keen to defend Khazine and her position in the pride and then realize the terrible mistake she’d made in the past so very clearly. Unlike her dark great-niece, who was a lioness she barely knew, Thuli had never taken an interest in Laini’s daughters and had actively avoided the pair of them. Which was so very, very wrong.

Thuli had grown up a Lusizi and the sting of it was still there, ever-present in the depths of her being. She didn’t want to be associated to anything which was not generally accepted in the pride which was why she’d been so very picky so far when choosing the father of her first litter. But that was no excuse for ignoring the unnatural-looking lionesses, it really wasn’t. They were family and Thuli knew she wouldn’t able to look her brother in the eye if he were to visit today… maybe she never would. Losing cubs during dry season was inevitable, one of those things that just happened but the fact that it had happened to her niece who hadn’t been eating as well as she should... Thuli would always carry the doubt that if she had helped more and done right by her brother, by her family, then maybe, just maybe, there would be one extra little great niece running around.

“Kala…?” She approached the place where she believed the blue lioness had been resting, her voice muffled by the half-eaten hare in her mouth. She’d caught it and a few of the other cubs had already been picking at it but Thuli had taken it before they’d eaten the whole thing. It wasn’t much but it was all she could afford after another day of unsuccessful hunting.
 

[Tanakako]

Kala had always been something of a wallflower, hanging back whenever the pride had gathered into large groups. As a cub and young adol it had been from fear. Fear of the stares and unpleasant words that had been cast her way whenever a pridesister got near. She had made very few friends and had stuck close to her Grandma and sister. As she grew and had come to understand the reasons behind those dark murmurings, she had withdrawn into herself, afraid of the harshness of the other lionesses and wary of receiving another beating for merely being nearby. Her small group of friends had helped greatly, and then she had been trained by the fearsome lioness Khanya, a red female with firekin blood in her veins that was perhaps one of the biggest females Kala had ever seen. She had taught Kala how to hunt both in a group, and solo. Though it had been Maditah who had given her the idea of learning to fish. There she had really excelled and had managed to keep herself, her sister and even their grandma fed on the days where they missed out on the main meal. Not that Naja needed any help, she was well known as one of the pride's best huntresses.

But fishing was now almost impossible with the drought and Kala's one unique skill was useless. Glancing down at her side she felt her heart tighten at the sight of her two daughters sleeping deeply. Blue and silver fur mingled with her own sky blue coat. Had she known what was going to happen, she would never have visited with Emrys. But there had been no hint of a drought at the time. In fact, her pregnancy had taken so long to show that the male was long gone by the time she realised why she was not getting thinner despite the dwindling food supply. Now she was so skinny her ribs stuck out and her cubs were not the healthy fat bundles of fluff the other cubs their age appeared to be. (Not that she had really been around anyone else since the birth, she was too weak to defend them and was terrified that a particularly vengeful or practical lioness would kill the two little girls in order to get rid of their tainted fur and preserve what little food there was for the 'regular' pride members.)

Shifting she gently pulled both sleeping cubs against her chest and started to groom them, fear in her heart for their safety and survival. The loss of one cub had broken her heart, and it was only the presence of these two little miracles that kept her going now. That, and her grandma's support. Naja had not stopped hunting since the birth, and even before that she had been out daily. Kala knew the lioness was running herself ragged looking for anything edible for her family, but even Naja's legendary hunting instincts couldn't force prey to appear out of the dusty plains. Worry for her babies filled her as she nosed at one blue bundle which mewled in sleepy protest. How was she going to protect them? She couldn't loose another cub, she just couldn't.

A sudden voice calling her name startled her and she whipped her head up so fast it made something in her neck twinge. Gold eyes wide she gazed about, then caught sight of a familiar figure moving towards her resting place. "Thuli?" She asked softly, surprised to see her aunt. A shy, uncertain smile crossed her muzzle as she gazed hopefully at her relation. A friendly face would be very welcome right now.

Mogami

 

[Mogami]

Tanakako

Kala’s surprise stung more than Thuli cared to admit because she really shouldn’t have been that surprised to see a family member drop by to see her young cubs. And now that she finally properly acknowledged their blood relation, Thuli couldn't help looking at their front legs and notice the very similar markings - her father's markings - realizing with a sad kind of humor how their colors were inverted: Kala was blue with yellow eyes and Thuli had brown to yellow markings and blue eyes.

"I just wanted to see my little great nieces. Sorry than this isn't much of a gift." Oh, she didn't even know if the cubs were fully weaned already! Well... Kala could certainly take the pathetic gift for herself if the cubs were still only drinking milk. She looked like she needed it.

It was hard to look at the two tiny cubs, to be honest. Unlucky, her instincts told her and neither one of them had Matifu's markings. And one was so very... blue. Even if she did have a pretty flower marking. Thuli didn't know why Kala had decided have a litter when she was probably encouraged to avoid it but, as they said - whoever they were - what was done, was done. Now, Thuli just needed to make sure these two would survive.
 

[Tanakako]

Unaware of where her aunt's thoughts had landed, namely the markings the two females shared, Kala smiled warmly, relaxing unconsicously. A lifetime of maltreatment had conditinoend the blue busisa to be jumpy around everyone, even her close friends still managed to startle her on a regular basis.

"It is good to see you, Thuli." Kala replied to her aunt's explanation, her smile warmer now and quiet unable to hide the hint of a plea in those golden eyes. She ahd returend to the pride far sooner than most lionesses with new cubs did, but Kala knew that with her weakened condition, both from the drought and subsequent starvation, and the difficult pregnancy, she was in no state to be out on her own. So her two cubs, already small for thir age, were younger than those usually seen by the rest of the pride.

Dropping her gaze to the half-eaten hare, Kala couldn't help the hunger in her expression or the painful rumbling of her belly. Feeding even two cubs had sapped her alreadyd epleated reserves and any meal no matter how small was very much welcomed.

"How have yuo been?" She asked with genuine care, gold eyes returning to her aunt as she wilfully ignored the meat dangling close by. After all, it was Thuli's.

Mogami

 

[Mogami]

Tanakako

Thuli didn’t like feeling anxious and a constant state of unease was something she believed she’d long overcome. She listened to Kala, searching for a sense of normalcy in the somewhat awkward interaction – though she might be the only one feeling that way because Kala didn’t seem too embittered by her late interest in her nieces.

She didn’t quite know how to act at first but Thuli soon found the answer when she decided to simply treat the blue lioness as if she were one of her sisters. And what did females talk about the most when they wished to avoid weather talk? Well, that was an easy question. Cubs and males.

“I am well. I cannot believe you beat me to motherhood.” She said honestly, dropping to the ground next to the blue lioness, not quite touching yet but taking the first step towards that closeness. She pushed the half-eaten hare towards her niece. “I want my first litter to be with a very specific Umholi though… so I’m still waiting.”  

[Tanakako]

Ever a lioness with a heart too gentle for the harshness of her station in life, Kala was more than willing to welcome her aunt into the small group she considered her family and friends. So as the chocolate and gold female settled down, Kala gave her a bright, genuine smile.

"I really didn't expect it either." She answered honestly, remembering back to Gabedi and the failure of their attempt. If they had succeeded her cubs would have been old enough to be hunting themselves now. As it was she had been utterly convinced that Emrys had failed also, though she didn't blame either male. With a lifetime of being told what a disadvantage her colouring was she had thought the fault lay entirely with her. In truth, she had actually decided not to try again with a new male after Emrys' departure when she had suddenly stopped loosing weight. The pregnancy had been well advanced by the time she had noticed and she had barely had time to wrap her mind around the entire thing when her two daughters had been born.

Glancing at the hare remains she hesitated but then seemed to realise that Thuli was giving it to her and pulled it close with one paw. "Oh?" She perked up, looking excited at the possibility. "Who do you have your eye on?" She asked, momentarily forgetting her hunger as she watched Thuli eagerly. It was rare she got to be a regular female and gossip with others, so this alone-time with her relative was extra special to the little blue busisa.

Mogami

sorry for typos, phone typing sucks.

 

[Mogami]

Tanakako

Thuli sent Kala a look that clearly said that if she was doing the deed, she should’ve expected something – or someone - to come out of it but she didn’t know about her great-niece’s previous attempts nor did she feel she had the right to chastise anyone over mating matters. She huffed at the question though, because she’d answered it many times before when nosy know-it-alls dogged her for reasons as to why she hadn’t sought any of the males yet. It served as a reminder of how little she’d spoken and shared with her own blood family which only increased the guilt she was currently feeling.

“I want an Umholi. Someone who fought for the top spot and is trusted to be a leader.” She said looking up thoughtfully. “Bangizwe… I considered him but he has a very golden mane… I wish it were darker. He’s a bit pale, too. And Andhaka… There are still some who are wary of the red pelts and our alliance with them so I’d rather not have a red litter. Even if that might mean some of my boys might stay close when they grow up… Andhaka’s mane is very nice, though.” She sighed, wistfully. “I don’t want perfect cubs… I just want to give them the best possible chance. I mean, look at Baie. Half of her litter had pale manes… how did that happen…?” Left unsaid was that actually, yes, she did want perfect cubs. Or, at the very least, cubs that couldn’t be faulted physically in any way, shape or form by the sternest traditionalists. She knew what it felt to grow up as a Lusizi, feeling judged and just be considered... ‘less’.

She almost hit herself for allowing her great nieces to grow up the same way.  

[Tanakako]

Kala dipped her head and the hare carcass was gone before Thuli even started to speak. It was obvious just how very hungry the blue lioness was. Yet her entire focus was on her aunt as Thuli started to explain. The understanding in Kala's eyes was obvious as she nodded along, apparently completely accepting Thuli's reasoning. Maybe as an outcast in their own home, Kala really did understand Thuli's wish for perfect cubs. After all Kala herself had never approched one of the abaholi, beliving that they would either scoff at her in disgust or outright kill her for her audacity in asking them to be intimate with her, as if her blue colour could be contracted from contact. In actuallity she had reasoned that an outsider would find her colour less repulsive and would be more willing to over look it than one of the pride's pernament males.

"I hope the next Umholi that comes is suitable." She gave Thuli a soft, warm smile. Motherhood might be hard, even harder than most in Kala's case, but she had never been happier as when she held her two daughters close and watched them sleep, their tiny ears twitching, mouths open on sleepy mewls as their paws sought out her fur. Some may question why she had wanted cubs, and indeed she had considered just not having any at all. But her father's love had always been a warm and treasured memory, and her grandma was such an amazingly kindhearted lioness who had fully encouraged Kala and her sister Ku'e in everything they had wanted to do. She would bring her two girls up to be the best lionesses they could be, and maybe when they were grown and had cubs of their own, life for blue-coats wouldn't be as bad as they had been for Kala and her sibling.

She paused, having been absently licking the clean bones resting across her paws. Unaware that she was even doing such a thing. "But both Abaholi are in their prime..." She was afraid that if Thuli waited for the perfect male, she would never have any cubs...

Mogami

On this screen my font colour is awfully pale, are you having trouble reading it? o.o

 

[Mogami]

Tanakako

Nope, it's perfectly fine on my screen. Not bright, at all. <3

“Bangizwe has been acting a little strange, lately.” Thuli frowned. She sent Kala a sideways glance, watching her eat. Yes, she definitely needed to bring more soon. “Maybe he’ll get chased out soon. He’s not even eaten properly… Andhaka should stay for a while longer, I think.” She didn’t care enough about either of them, not really. They were necessary inconveniences as far as the blue-eyed lioness was concerned, taking up two spots that could belong to her ideal Abaholi. But they had done well for the pride, fathering many promising Abazingeli and they’d done a good job protecting them so Thuli refrained from saying anything too harsh aloud. Even if she was still a little annoyed at the golden Umholi for nearly pushing Khazine away.

“What are their names again?” She asked, chin pointing at the cubs. She was a little ashamed to realized she couldn’t remember them.  

[Tanakako]

Kala looked concerned at her aunt's asessment of Bangizwe's status. Being the outcast she rarely ever saw the pride's two main males. So news that one of their protectors was falling ill, or had some other malardy was deeply troubling for the young mother. "Is there something wrong with him?" She asked, her nervousness plain in her voice. Kala had never learned how to lie, or at least doing it well enough to be effective. Now she gazed at her relative with concern. "What if someone unpleasent comes in?" A fight between powerful males was the last thing the pride needed right now...

Glancing down as Thuli changed the subject she smiled, evidently delighted just to look at her offspring. "This is Anashe." She motioned to the silver cub with the brilliant metalic blue markings. "And this is (insert-name-here)." As she pointed to the all-blue cub who looked so much like her mother.

Mogami

XD I haven't picked a winner in the contest for the sister yet. Im totally stuck on which entry I like best.... DX -needs help-

 

[Mogami]

Tanakako

Oh yeah, rp/personality contests... that can be rough!
Also, it's taking a toll on her but Thuli is coming around to a more tolerant mindset... xD

Anashe was... tolerable, she supposed. Not that difficult to look at. The other girl, well, she was very much like Kala, wasn't she... At least she was female. Then again, it might've been better if the blue one had been born a male who would eventually leave the pride.

Feeling quite guilty regarding the sudden rush of uncharitable thoughts, Thuli hid her misgivings behind a neutral frown.

"Well, we need to put some meat into those bones." And it really was 'we' this time, a family effort. She'd volunteer her sisters to the task if necessary and maybe some lionesses could be swayed to the cause. Matifu's line was respected, after all. "And you have to take care of yourself, too." Bad things happened to new mothers who lost too much weight during their pregnancies.

Thuli dropped her head to the ground, slowly closing her eyes. She could use a nap and the little cub noises were one of the nicest background sounds one could have. And with her eyes closed, she didn't even have to think about the number of unnaturally blue pelts around. It was just her niece and her cubs, nothing more. Just family.  

[Tanakako]

The sudden declaration and following reprimand made Kala smile and she nodded respectfully. "Yes Auntie." She replied with a soft giggle, so very happy that Thuli had come to visit and chat and now seemed content to stay near by. As the older lioness settled down into her nap Kala quietly and gently shifted enough that she could curl up against her aunt's tan and chocolate fur. Safety and reassurance radiated from Thuli, and within moments Kala was fast asleep, her two little cubs uttering soft cubbish sounds in their slumber.

This was family.

Mogami

I think I'm going to follow Thuli's idea and ask for help. XD
Thuli is being very good! We totally need to rp them together more.