[PRP] Heartbroken

[Talencia]

It had taken some time, but Tsine had become adjusted to her new role. It had been nerve-wracking at first, and still could be sometimes. It wasn't in her nature to put herself forward, though it wasn't that she had lacked confidence or boldness. She just... had never figured herself for being in such a position. It had helped somewhat that her brother was the nvwati, her partner in leadership so to speak. They had worked well together, as their family wasn't one accustomed to inner strife.

But as the clan settled back into their traveling rhythm, leaving the festival behind, things were different. Right at first she hadn't been able to quite put a pawpad on it, but now that they were a few days out, the harmony of the clan clearly had a dissonance. Normally that might have been a situation more suited to her brother's guidance, but this time, that wasn't going to work. The hiccup in the peaceful flow of events was Ukahada himself.

The clan was settling in for the night when she went looking for him. It troubled her to not find him where she expected him; more evidence that something was wrong. She tracked him quietly and calmly, not revealing her growing concern to those she passed. She finally found him off a little ways from the edges of camp, turned away from the quieting bustle of their loved ones. Her whiskers spread in concern and her ears canted uncertainly back. She approached him slowly, letting him hear her coming before she finally called softly, "Brother?"  

[Talencia]

She frowned slightly at his attempt at casualness. It wasn't like him to cover how he felt quite this much. Being the spiritual leader, he generally was one of the more personally honest lions in the clan. She moved close and sat next to him, searching his face for some clue.

"I was going to ask you that, actually," she replied, her gaze intent and clearly worried. "Something is wrong, and you aren't talking to me." It wasn't that she expected to be told about every nuance of his life, of course. They weren't that close. But usually they communicated well, especially when one or the other of them had a problem. That came with the positions they had been given, in fact. His pretense at normalcy jarred her concern up another notch.

"I want to help, Ukahada," she added quietly. "Tell me what's wrong?"  

[Talencia]

Tsine sat quietly for a bit, blinking in surprise and mulling over what he had admitted. And "admitted" was the right word, as it had come out as a sort of confession... as if it was something bad. She really shouldn't be surprised that he'd found someone to love. Wasn't she feeling wistful herself for that one male to come into her life that would treasure her forever? She glanced back over at him, for a moment feeling wistful for her own happiness. However, his expression was... well, the word that came to mind was "devastated", which was not what one would expect from such a statement.

Something clearly wasn't right. She swallowed and prepared herself for whatever might come next. Right now, she wasn't seeing him as their clan's nvwati. She saw and felt her own brother in knots over whatever came next. "What happened?" she asked quietly, dropping her own eyes to give him the space to tell her in his own time and way, waiting patiently for the story to unfold.  

[Talencia]

"She what?!" Tsine was so startled by this revelation that she stared at him in shock, jaw loose and eyes round. A jumble of thoughts tumbled around her mind as sthe struggled to grasp what he was telling her. She absorbed what he was telling her, and the first spark of emotion beyond concern flared up. Anger. How dare she. How dare this... this... hussy!... agree to marry her brother, and then just run off to who knew where to do who knew what...

She managed not to open her mouth, but the urge to say something or to ask something rose and fell in swift successions, leaving her mute as he struggled to this last confession. His words and their meaning sunk in, snuffing out her rising fury. She blinked slowly, realizing the implication, and she sucked a sudden and painful breath.

"Oh Uka," she murmured, reaching to wrap her paws around her brother impulsively. "I'm so sorry." The heartbreak in his voice, the agony and despair, completely undid her. She rubbed her cheek against his in an intimate sibling gesture of love. "That is why she left?" she asked softly, sitting back again but leaving no room between them now.  

[Talencia]

She listened quietly as he unfolded the tale, such as it was. It did seem achingly unfair to make males like her brother, serving their clan as leaders, to have to choose between their duty and their heart. She leaned to bump her forehead against him shoulder, ears folded in consternation. "You were right, about the clan, you know," she responded in muted but warm tones. "No one would begrudge you happiness, and it is the way of the clans after all." Not that it exactly made sense at times like this, but there wasn't much that could be said or done on that front.

She looked up into his eyes as he added his apology and explanation, once more listening sympathetically. "You have nothing to be sorry for," she responded resolutely. "You may have devoted yourself to the clan, but your heart is your own, brother. You owe no one an explanation until you were ready to do so." She suppressed a heavy sigh, heartsore for his despair. In a way, he had twice the amount to mourn. He'd been willing and ready to give up all he'd known in his home clan, had already bidden them all goodbye in his heart... she could tell. That unto itself had been hard enough, she was sure. But then to have that sacrifice thrown by the wayside because someone else opted to decide what he should or shouldn't do? And taking his hope, love, and future with him no less.

Her anger flared up again, but in a low simmer. At least if they'd married, it would have been his choice to make and stand by. There was joy and pride and self respect to be found in that choice. But this? All that had been stolen away by a know-it-all female who felt she was doing the right thing by sacrificing their feelings on the altar of duty. Tsine gritted her teeth against the resentment settling in her soul. "I am so sorry, Uka," she repeated, taking a slower breath to try and release the fierce defensiveness circling in her head.

In the silence that followed, she tried to get her brain to work on more than just reacting. What now? What was there for him? Her heart ached to think of him plodding along in his duties, his life in shambles. But what else could be done? She flexed her claws in vexation as she strove for something, anything constructive to say or do.  

[Talencia]

At the very least, time was something she could give him. She leaned up against him once again, burying her cheek into his mane. "We'll find a way to make things work, brother," she replied with a heavy and sympathetic heart. "You aren't alone in this, and never will be. That I promise." Her mind finally began working, considering who could step in for a time while he recovered and grew confident and strong again. There were options that could work, just as they would have worked if he'd gone to her clan. The clan would thrive and draw closer, becoming stronger yet for the trials it endured. No, it wasn't ideal, but such struggles could not defeat them. Not as a clan, and not as siblings. "We'll get through it together."