She did not know how much time had passed since she had last seen him. Only that it had been too long. And when, at last, he returned, she tried her hardest not to look overjoyed. The smile on her face was hard to fight, however, as he sauntered towards her with a look that looked a cross between victorious and...displeased? Perhaps he was fighting his emotions, too.

"You came back. Again." It did not need to be said but it felt good to do so. His face twisted into something she did not like but melted back into an expression of neutrality soon after.

"Apparently."

"You did not need to."

"It was not your scent I was tracking," he added hastily, "this reunion is mere coincidence." She wasn't sure who he was trying to convince but she did not press the matter any further. Instead, she resettled on the dusty ground and remained silent until - eventually - he joined her. Even then, there was a long moment of silence between them, heavy and thick, that he finally dispersed with a question equally as heavy.

"There are wounds at your neck."

She flinched at that observation an flicked her tail with agitation. She knew of the wounds, had even been proud of them for a time after. Now she felt the weight of them against her flesh, a burden she wished she'd never allowed herself to bear. It had seemed so right at the time, to give in to that charming male and now the act felt childish and hollow and there was no denying it had happened. Tomor had a mate back home. He'd know what the marks meant. Heck, the scent of the male was probably still upon her! But what did he expect her to say? Sorry? She'd wanted to be with him and he had left her. She owed him no loyalty. None at all. She was infatuated. Jealous. And he had left her and been cruel and...and why was he even here? Why was he even talking to her?

"I didn't think you would care," she spat at him, suddenly feeling angry - wanting to tear out his eyes. Maybe she would. Perhaps that would set things right.

He seemed to sense her line of thinking, for he was on his paws and drawing away from her, eyeing her with a wariness that made her feel powerful. She took an advancing step and swung out a paw in warning, irritated that he didn't flinch at all. She hissed then and, when still no reaction was offered, she threw herself at him and was rewarded with the whites of his eyes as they widened in shock. She wanted to roar in triumph even as she barrelled into him, shoving him backwards and slamming her head up under his throat, pushing him up off of his forepaws and holding him there. Her legs trembled but she held still and, for a moment, so did he. Then, with a growl, he wrenched himself free and snarled at her.

"Take me home with you."

"I can't."

"Why?!"

"We've been through this before, but I'll say it again, since it doesn't seem to be getting through."

"I wouldn't get on there. I'm not strong enough. The people are brutes and cruel and would make me cry," Yoninah mocked, "the whole world is full of people like that, Baatar. Your pride is no different."

"My mate is of high rank. One of the highest in the pride." He added, using the term lightly. They were mates, of course, but he had no love for her. Theirs was a partnership of convenience, nothing more. "She is cruel and fierce and anyone who gets in her way gets trampled into the dirt. If I turned my eye from her to you she would kill you."

That tempered her fire and the snarl slowly faded from her face. His mate would kill her? She supposed it wasn't an unusual reaction to finding out that your mate had decided to go with another. She would have been equally angry.

"It doesn't sound as if you like your pride much."

"I used to. It used to be my whole life. But now? Now some of the cracks are showing and I'm starting to notice them. Question them." He thought of the Bahari and what he had witnessed there. Thought of going home and telling his pride what he had found. Questioning his ideals. His upbringing. His purpose. Had he spent his whole life living a lie?

"Then forget them. Don't go home. Stay with me. We'll live a new life. Together."

He blinked at her, dazed. What was she saying?

"I can't."

"But why?"

"You don't understand."

"So explain it to me."

He growled, shaking his head, "you need to shut up and leave me alone."

"You came to me. You leave!" She yelled, feeling her eyes burning with anger and grief. But to her surprise, he stepped towards her, turning his face into her neck and breathing a ragged breath into her fur. She froze, not sure what to do or to say except stand there and wait for him to gather himself. Maybe for him to tell her that he loved her. That she was right. That they would be together forever.

Then, at last, he murmured: "I can't stay. Not forever. Just a while. Only ever a while."

And she knew then that she'd have him part-time or not at all. What would be more painful in the long run? Yoninah could not say. To watch him walk out of her life forever or continually have to say goodbye knowing that, someday, he would be back for a time. And repeat. Until life's end. Could she do that? Could she live like that? Did he even want to? Was this even love? If it wasn't there was always the possibility of walking away. He need never find her again.

"Just a while then," she said, hating herself and rejoicing all at once.

/fin