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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 7:37 pm
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'Varinen was in the den he shared with his mate, studying the amulet he'd been given as a token when he became a Royal Guard years before. It was so strange to think that he was married, and that he was now a part of the High Class, something that hadn't even been a dream when he'd been younger. Yksivarinen had been the butt of everyone's jokes as a cub, he'd been an easy Slave to grab for whatever unpleasant duty needed doing, and he hadn't stood out as more than a punchline until he'd joined the Royal Guards.
Not that he'd done any better there. Not until Neema started talking to him.
Of course, he'd been completely blindsided when she'd asked him to marry her. Even today, 'Varinen still had trouble comprehending that she'd actually chosen to elevate him and make him her mate. He loved her, of course, but shouldn't the Shaman's sister be able to do better? He knew he could never be worthy of her, although he tried his best.
If it was hard for the monochromatic male to believe in his new status, it was equally hard for him to leave this token of his old position here in the den, gathering dust. Neema had tried to persuade him, then tried to demand, then finally just ordered him to stop wearing the amulet. He understood her reasoning, that seeing it evoked memories of Shangyue that were generally unpleasant for people. However, the amulet was much more than that, especially to 'Varinen.
As a Royal Guard, it had been the first time that 'Varinen had been able to stand before the pride as an individual, and as a person worthy of note. It was the first recognition he'd ever won for himself. Whereas now when he was...Neema's mate. Anything he had now was because of her and yes, he loved his mate dearly, but he didn't want to be an afterthought in the eyes of the pride. He needed to be more than just Neema's anything, and that was something this amulet symbolized to him.
'Varinen sighed, longing to put the necklace back on and knowing he shouldn't.
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 7:55 pm
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He stood there, staring at the piece of jewelry for long minutes. Every so often 'Varinen would reach out towards it with a paw, even sometimes touch its cool, smooth texture, but then hastily pull his paw back as if it had been burned. Finally, the lion shook his head at himself, acting like a cub with a forbidden object. Sighing, he put the amulet back where he kept it, out of easy sight, and headed out of the den.
He knew he should get rid of it, that Neema would rather he didn't even keep it, but she was willing to let him leave it in the den so long as he didn't wear it.
But it was so tempting! He just wanted to be more than Neema's appendage, to be himself and have an identity beyond his mate. Unfortunately, such was not his lot in life. He'd considered applying for a more specialized rank, but even Yksivarinen knew that he didn't have the right...skill sets...for any of those. So why offer himself up for even more humiliation?
The lion sighed heavily as he settled himself down in front of the den's entrance. He half hoped to see Neema coming around the bend, half despaired of her returning before he managed to get his head on straight again.
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 8:11 pm
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Considering how much this affected her mate, it wasn't especially surprising that it was affecting Neema as well. The fact they were both on the same page wasn't so much a coincidence as a sign that something had to be done about it. 'Varinen had agreed to marry her but it still didn't feel quite right, and that was something they had to work on together.
And 'together' was the problem. Giving orders hardly made her the 'good guy' even if she had his best interest at heart. She could not let him wear the damned amulet again, even if that was what he wanted. Replacement seemed like the best option, but the hardest part was balancing her desire to put some of herself into it and knowing trading Shangyue for herself wasn't any better.
So, with a mouthful of beads, she made her way home, spotting her mate laying just outside. She smiled, despite her cargo and the clear disquiet around the den. She did like having someone waiting for her when she came home, or knowing she was waiting at home for someone if she got there first.
She stopped a few feet before him, and gently set a pile of black, silver and yellow beads in front of him. A pair of large feathers stuck out at odd angles, though they seemed in decent shape for loose feathers. And Neema stood before him, looking proud of herself and hiding her insecurity well.
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 8:18 pm
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The lion was so despondent over his perceived failings that he almost failed to notice Neema's approach. Luckily the wind was with him, and a light breeze carried her scent to 'Varinen's nose, prompting him to look up and offer a smile.
That look, of course, quickly faded into confusion as his mate set a pile of things in front of him. Blinking in surprise and uncertainty, 'Varinen peered down at what now sat before him, red eyes narrowing in concentration. He saw beads and feathers, things in black and yellow and silver. The sort of colors his and Neema's children would probably show in their fur, if they were fortunate enough to be parents. The thought made him smile crookedly.
"What's this then?" he asked, smile still lingering, although now anxiety was rising to fade the expression somewhat.
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 8:29 pm
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"It's a gift."
It was harder work than usual, keeping her smile on. Life was different when she actually let herself have something. She was so often compared to her mother but she never remembered her being anything but more of the same, if happier, when Uthuli became a part of her life. She had to wonder if they'd had trouble, fleeing as they did. Surely that messed with their identities as much as marrying out of the low class..
"It's not easy, finding something like you had," she explained, "But I didn't want to give you something like that anyway."
It was a complicated feeling she couldn't explain well. She hadn't managed it yet so she wouldn't try again. She suddenly didn't even know why she mentioned it, but feeling like she was in competition with a now-dead, murderous king was uncomfortable and, apparently, unavoidable.
"I don't really know where everybody finds all the beads, either, but they're a lot easier," Neema went on, "But the feathers are from yesterday's hunt. If I'd thought of it sooner, I could have found something from the first one.. but this will do. Birds are harder to catch, anyway. I know you've always hunted, but these are from one of your first hunts as a hunter."
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 8:36 pm
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 8:50 pm
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 8:53 pm
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 9:01 pm
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