It had become routine the last few sevedays: wake up, follow through chores and class, lunch, more lessons, and then spend most of her free period with the healers if Alegriath didn't need tending to. Which was to say, the white often did as she was young and growing, but Ale had fussed enough over it that she could get her oiling done even at Haveli's bedside if they were careful. Arlie's anxiety was eased by the efficiency, but a knot still remained in her chest that only one person could undo or cut free. And she was a pale, bandaged thing in the cot these days.

Alegriath lived up to her namesake: she was unfailing sunlight and warmth in a weyr that was still full of strangers to her, a bouncing ball of energy that was also the soothing calm presence that cuddled up with her at night. And Arlie had eaten it up like the starved creature that she was, even as she hated to admit it.

Doing so meant admitting that her sister had not fulfilled the role entirely as both protector and loving family, which meant Haveli was doing something wrong, which wasn't possible, had never been possible. Arlie loved her and knew she was loved back. But Alegriath's love was so much more palpable, vibrant, constant and without the cost of anger and disappointment that sometimes got saddled with Arlie's feelings towards her older sister. She could reach out to it and nestle herself in that sacred bond between rider and dragon, and the white gave like an endless well. They had told the two when they entered candidacy that having a dragon was the most important thing in one's life when a bond was made. Now she could understand why.

But then the guilt came back. Leaving Haveli for a stupid reason. Panicking. The expression on her sister's face when she found Arlie and Alegriath together. Almost causing Ale to hop Between from all the fear and anxiety the Impression had stirred up. Haveli's face. Haveli's face. She couldn't get Haveli's face out of her mind.

Alegriath bumped her head against Arlie's hand as they made their way towards the healers once more. Like her siblings, she was quickly gaining weight and length, though she was more the size some of them had been upon hatching rather than the adorable, almost lap-sized dragonet she had been. Arlie deeply missed being able to hold her, but she gently grasped a headknob as a consolation prize, her head bent as they walked. In her other hand was the bucket of oil and tools needed to oil her dragon.

xhoullow
i finally did thing