[ solo ] turnover thoughts (fela & soph)

[medigel]

Faux flower crown was time consuming. One had to do it when work allowed, when Thread wasn't being an absolute nuisance, and when she didn't have the inclination to bother other people--which was to say, Fela squeezed it in when she could. But it also meant that when she did take the time to craft, her mind wasn't as busy as her hands. It meant Sophrosunth became her willing set of headknobs. It meant so, so, so much externalizing the internal, which they both felt was appropriate for the end of the turn. An early spring cleaning so that they could be ready for the first month once again.

She was no journeyman, but it would do.
 

[medigel]

"You've been gettin' better about socializing," Fela said with a smile. "You used t'be such a shy thing. Wanted nothing more than to sit in my lap and think aloud."

Yes. You do have a way of making others open up, Soph agreed with amusement, whether they want to or not.

"What can I say, I'm nosy. And you like nursin' the little ones, too, while I'm thinkin' about it." Had he been closer, Soph would have been given a nudge. "Unca Soph."

Sophrosunth snorted, but he couldn't deny that ever since the separate clutches had hatched, he had taken a shining to checking on some of the dragonets, if they didn't seem to mind his presence. It wasn't...mothering, as Fela was wont to do, he was too restrained to be so...Well, he wouldn't say meddlesome ("Hey!" she cried), but certainly active. "Uncle", however...seemed to make sense of a sort: around, not quite immediately related, and a different perspective than a family member would provide. Soph couldn't quite explain why he liked doing as he did, because he had no strong urge for children of his own despite enjoying their presence, and he didn't at all aspire to be the first blue to catch a gold and throw the rules out in the name of experimentation.

Pausing in her work, Fela gave him a look. "Honey. Ya dense dingus. You like playin' teacher, that's why you like it."

...Oh! The blue blinked owlishly. Ahah. That makes sense. Thank you, dearheart.

Fela laughed. "Faranth's forktail, buddy, you didn't pick it up with those lil' sessions with Ana? I thought you was supposed to be the smart one between us."

Shifting self-consciously, Soph wrapped his tail about his legs. Yes, well...I would not go so far as to say teacher, at any rate. They all have perfectly good mentors already. I prefer to think of myself as...hmm...a tutor! Yes, I am a tutor. An aide, really, a would-be helper. Or a walking--what are those large books called again? Encyclopedia. And not even of particularly useful information one-hundred percent of the time, he went on. I think I might grow scatterbrained with age, the way I go on sometimes. I think I already am, dearest! You see, ah, might you remember at our last practice when...

The blue rambled on in his quirky, comical way, and Fela listened with deep fondness that doubled as patience. Yes, Soph had used to be shy: now if one pushed just the right button, he could go off! It hadn't been just physical growth he had gone through between today and the turn before.

"Whatever floats yer boat~" she hummed.  

[medigel]

“So, did anything ever happen with that crush a’yours?”

She knew nothing had. She asked anyway to pester him.

No. Soph didn’t bluster like he might have before. There was only the peace that came from someone who had already accepted the outcome.

“Not plannin’ in doing anything about it?”

No.

“Why not? No more crush?”

Soph smiled. Because there would be no point in pursuing with the same eyes I had then, when I am different now. There is more to life than whatever dramatic rush of hormones made me believe I needed in those fleeting moments.

Fela snorted. “Dramatic. Uh huh.” But she knew it was more to it than that; she could feel his constant restraint upon himself about every little thing, each indulgence accompanied by a p***k of guilt. And with the precision of an arrow, she found the crux of his thoughts.

The crush was gone yes. Or morphed, really, to slide neatly in the bottom bookshelf as something dusty and forgotten. A children’s book they could revisit, but not a relevant one anymore. There were more pertinent covers at the top of the shelf anyway, which she perused while he sat over her shoulder, quiet and contemplative.

She was sure Aunt Flow would be visiting soon. There was no reason to feel her eyes stinging like they did.

“You don’t hafta hold back on my account, hun,” she told him as she picked up her work once more. “Yer a handsome idiot. I know a couple‘ve dragons who agree with the first part at least.”

Sophrosunth saw whom she meant but brushed them away. He came to settle behind her, laying his paws on either side. Fela accepted the silent invitation and leaned back, closing her eyes, mentally settling into the deep well of serenity inside the blue’s mind.

“I’m serious.” She should have felt calmer. Instead, she felt the tears going. “We both know you’d have better luck, whatever stupid s**t comes out yer mouth.”

Soph considered his words for a time, but they were soon lost in their combined stream of consciousness. Fela spoke like it was just about Chasing, but he knew that wasn’t all. It was something he shared with her, with anyone who avoided their own problems to tackle other’s: personal issues started to blend together into a terrifying mush that refused to separate if picked at. It was about partners. It was about children. It was about her mother who always asked when. It was about her sister revealing her pregnancy. It was about being loud to people about everything and anything except what hurt. It was about Sophrosunth sacrificing even a little of his possible happiness with someone else because she couldn’t share it. It was about making sure Fela stayed Fela in public, the raunchy and motherly hen who ogled singles like toys she was ready to play with. It was about wanting something so desperately and knowing it would always be out of reach. It was about Re’jan, who could have been...

It was about a thousand other little things that made a mountain. It was about the fear of Thread making it all irrelevant in the end.

“Why you gotta do that?” she whined in a watery voice, as if she hadn’t initiated it all with a simple tease and a peak into his worries. “Introspective bullshit.”

I am nothing if not space occupied by hot air and a hundred thoughts at once.

He curled his head around her until it was in her lap. Sniffling, she scratched his headknobs.

“Just a hundred?”