It played out like poetry.
Kanene, a tortured male bound by his own blood meeting with Awiki, whose uprooted, soul-searching ways forced the hands of Gods; leading their paths to cross. The first night was full of conversation laced in vulnerability. Awiki spoke of her companion Nombuso with love and tears filling her eyes. She referenced her home, the sands, the heat, the journey itself… and Kanene, unraveling his lonely past, relented to her desires. ‘Let me share in your pain’, her eagerness proclaimed. If only for that night. Sleep would take them before all the words could be shared, whispers of gratitude hanging on the ends of their lips.
Their chemistry was undeniable.
The second day dawned with their footfalls, much like their wants for the future, falling into synchronicity. Both of them were still reeling from the energies of the night prior, and neither of them wanted to be alone. Not while there was another option presenting itself. But Fear and pride choked Awiki’s voice when Kanene turned to walk away. Tears made quick work of her cheeks. She waited, like she had waited for him to notice her. Like she had waited for Nombuso to get better. She waited... Until the wait became suffocating. Until the fear of going it alone became more pressing than the fear of wanting him to stay.
“Wait!”
... He never intended on leaving her. His back might have turned but his heart wouldn’t let him go. What if he never saw her again? What if this was it, the one?... What if, in leaving, the pain would never end? Being alone did nothing for him, so what if... what if company did? Fear and pride were not hers alone to battle with.
And his vision, albeit distorted, would see them through to another night together.
---
When they settled together in the same outcropping as before, Kanene was the first to speak. The bits and pieces he had left out from the previous night’s deep dive were filled in with earnest. He was a child of a Goddess and plagued by her gifts. These truths. His truths. They had been kept quiet and all to himself for so very long that just speaking them aloud shed weight off his shoulders. Lightened the load on his mind. He didn't want her to shoulder the burden, but he was grateful that she seemed so willing to.
And Awiki, spellbound, had many questions. They spent hours in rapt discussion, mostly Kanene sharing his experiences with her while Awiki sat mystified. The strangest of visions and the greatest too, to those that were far from welcomed but... of course, likely to surface from time to time. When it came time to discuss how it all affected him, Awiki's excitement faded into something like guilt and sorrow, softening. She moved closer as he spoke, and set a paw upon his to voice her apologies... her insensitivity. She knew full well that it might mean nothing, considering she wasn't the one enduring any of it. But she hoped that her sympathy would be recognized.
She listened with undivided attention as he recounted times of agony coming after visions filled with blessings. How the balance played into every moment of his life, and that he believed it a curse.
"No mortal should know the things reserved for the Gods... it feels so wrong."
"But... What if this is the will of the Gods? To have a hand here with us mortals? A liaison, of sorts?"
She would hesitate to do so, but eventually Awiki would offer the words of hope that he had never quite expected to hear. She would offer him perspective, albeit abstract coming from someone unable to completely relate. And by the time sleep would come for them once again... she would have made a promise to stick by him.
"Please, no. I-I didn't mean for-- look, you are not obligated to do this. I could go back to feeling everything tomorrow with or without you here and... not... not that it isn't wanted or anything I just--"
"Stop." Her paw found his once again. She was close, smiling, but looking as serious as ever. "I don't feel any obligation, here. I want to do this. I like you. And I want to be here. So if you'll have me, I think I'll stay for a while."
---
A third day came and went. A fourth, too. Soon, a full month had passed with Awiki and Kanene traveling and exploring together, growing closer and closer and closer still. They were falling into the familiar patterns of courtship, a rhythm that neither of the lions seemed shy about dancing to. And their conversations evolved, from the 'favorite color' phase to situations of the past. To the very real present and what it meant for both of them. And, occasionally they dipped their toes into the future; be it foggy at best. They joked about what they had dreamed of once upon a time, as cubs, and what they sought for now. Always with a glimmer in their eyes as they looked upon each other. Their investment in a relationship grew, with some moments hinging on friendship and others feeding into the chemistry they had already created.
Awiki, very aware of her wants, often made a point to get close to Kanene. And Kanene, very aware of Awiki, never hindered her desire to do so.
But despite their hope that shared company would solve all of their problems, Kanene’s headaches would return, frightfully strong and crippling him at unexpected moments. And being with someone else was a beautiful reality for Awiki, but concerning just as well. At first it worried her sick to watch him toil. She dotted upon him, reassured him, and was the voice that often kept the male from blacking out altogether. But she could see how her distress bothered Kanene, and only added to his struggle. So, she hardened her resolve. She put on a mask, something she was not entirely accustom to but willing to try. For him.
And with no where to put her worry, she bottled it up. Then, portions of that worry evolved into anger. A quiet disdain growing for the Gods... born out of Awiki's mortal confusion.
Kanene could sense it. He could hear it in her tone. And it wounded him greatly, because often... he had felt the same way.
Without Mwokoti there would be no Kanene. And none of this would have transpired. Awiki would never have known what romantic love looked like, within herself or within another. At least, not the way it sprouted for Kanene. And for that she was admittedly very grateful.
Perhaps it was irrational, but the thought that it was also because of the Goddess that Kanene suffered never quite left her mind.
And as much as she wanted to be strong for her Kanene, she simply wasn't Nombuso.
(WC: 1161 )