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Reply Creative Writing/Homework Help
Read my poem?

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My poem is
  really good ^^
  okaaay...i guess.
  sucks like woah!
  who cares? Poll_whore.
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A Streetkid Named Desire

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 9:22 pm
Late

Sitting,
Waiting patiently.
Tap. Tap. Tap
My foot goes.
Quick glances,
your late.
A half hour late.
I sigh.

You.
Unconscious.
Over a guardrail.
Totaled car
Sirens screeching,
Unheard to you.
On a stretcher
Not breathing.

Loud steps.
The door squeaks
As I walk out.
Disappointment
anger.
frustration
Car hums to life
Radio blaring.

You awake.
Blurry faces.
Throbbing pain.
Lights blind you.
Needles flash by.
Sudden drowsiness
Dozing off
Hospital arrival.

Impatience.
Stuck in traffic.
Cops directing.
As i pass,
a broken guardrail.
And a man
in handcuffs
Stumbling blindly.

Doctors rushing
You through the door
Into the E.R.
More blinding lights
Machines buzzing
None of this.
Noticed by you
Soundly asleep

Door slams.
Up the stairs.
Shoes kicked off
I dial your cell
No answer.
Violent rage.
Phone shatters
Against the wall.

Chaos
Around you.
Lying in white
Machines screech
As your heartbeat
is slowly
and gently
fading away..

Salty tears
Smeared lipstick
Silence broken
By a knock
I open the door
A blue uniform
of an officer
glares at me.

No pulse.
Your face so pale.
Doctors sigh
Bowing their heads
Machines unhooked
Silence follows
a white sheet
Covers you.

I'm aghast
and sick
As i hear
the officer
relay the news
of your accident.
As he steps inside
His radio buzzes.

Your gone.
And I'm here.
Sitting in black.
Looking
At your tombstone.
Crying.
Because i was mad.
That you were late.  
PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:29 pm
That's a tear-jerker.  

Kieanna Hyuga


A Streetkid Named Desire

PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 12:11 pm
thanks. i think?  
PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 2:25 pm
thats really creative you should enter it for a poem competition im sure you will win biggrin  

xpretty-in-pinkx


A Streetkid Named Desire

PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 12:19 pm
Thanks biggrin .  
PostPosted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 2:31 pm
People...
If your gonna vote that my poem sucks like woah...
Please tell me why?
Just wondering...
I promise...
...no verbal abuse will be adminstered.
Unless...
You're a jerk.
 

A Streetkid Named Desire


Lady Ashayat

PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 5:45 pm
Woah. = O

I must say, awesome & creative! *nods* <3  
PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 6:58 am
I liked it, I saw one gramatical thing, but other than that, great!  

beadedbaletslipper

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xx_screamMASSACRE

PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 1:56 pm
crying that was awesome!
*sniff* i wish i cud write
like that...ur great! keep
writing!  
PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:30 pm
thank you. ^^  

A Streetkid Named Desire

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Creative Writing/Homework Help

 
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