poems and short stories

[Korina Kitari]

these are quite good.. they put a smile on my face and tears running from my eyes  

[arcane magix]

BANG!  

[Sincerely Ophelia]

you know, hardly anyone ever comments in here. My poem has been posted for so long and no one has even bothered to vote. and its so short too. It makes me sad. I'm gonna join the writers guild becuz posting here is meaningless. then again for those who happen to wander they get a taste of good writing. like our skillz can be read by the normally uninterested masses. being complimented by another writer is one thing. being liked by people who normally dont care to read/write is another. then again, that works is reverse too. that only a real author could ever truly appreciate a masterpiece of writing. whatever. your stuff is very good, but I think you need to be more structured. you have no form whatsoever. some lines are long some short. the stanzas are completely different sizes. What makes poetry unique is the rhythm. Poetry ought to be "musical". yours.... varies. my favorite I think was the village idiot not sure though. with the you cant defeat your shadow. but I also found it confusing. who was saying what at the end? most are very good. colorful lanuage etc. but you need more structure. I write in free-form myself, but most often I stick with rhyming every other line thing. rhyming adds to the musical feel. it doesn't have to, but it wouldn't hurt if you included just a little bit more in your longer poems. I LOvE heart poems by Edgar Allen Poem. They are done so well.

Do you think you could rate my poem, please? It would mean a lot to me since it seems no one else cares cry .
Thanks (;

Sweet Days! blaugh
_Secret_Angel_3 heart 4laugh