Poetry... Sweet and Simple

[Korina Kitari]

these are pretty good  

[1Rock_Lee_Fanatic]

Thank You! whee

Any suggestions? confused  

[Korina Kitari]

well i try to keep the number of lines in each section thing around the same... if ever possible... but other than that.. its pretty good  

[Hi Skool Musical Luver]

These are cool! xd  

[monkkk]

here is the one that got in the newspaper i wrote it for my friend becuse we both were going through some hard times.

The day I let your heart be consumed by Darkness is the day mine stops beating.

What is Darkness?It is only a word, right?What is it rhat we truly fear?Is it the Darkness or the unknowen?Or is it the very black theing we call a heart.It is the unknowen that strikes tearor in our hearts.It's not knowing what is standing in our face that scars us. If Darkness can't hurt not a single thing then why do we feel safer in numbers? It is the storys we hear an remember that really scares us. If Darkness cant make a sound then why do we have to make one to clam our selves? It's the antisapation that truly scares us. Is it Darkness our or imageanation that scares us the most. Is it Darkness that is eveil or is it the people who hid in it. So I ask agein what is Darkness, a word or our imageanation?

I know i spelled some things wrong im just really tired in havent slept i 78 hours.  

[1Rock_Lee_Fanatic]

Wow... That's deep.  

[monkkk]

thx's that was a bad time when i wrote it and both me and my friend felt like we were falling away from the world and needed a wake up call.  

[1Rock_Lee_Fanatic]

I wrote these couplets in another forum as part of a game. I think they have the potential to make a poem. Of course I'd add more to it and maybe rearrange it, but I need to see if others agree that they could actually become a decent poem.


The lonliness simply tears me apart
And rages upon my trembling heart


The mornings had brought joy and light
Nevermore, it's eternal night


I sit alone in this dark a place
Never again to see light on my face


So... what do y'all think? confused  

[arcane magix]

eek WOW...this is some great stuff! WAy to go J! wink  

[monkkk]

heart i loved it heart heart biggrin  

[1Rock_Lee_Fanatic]

Well, thank you both! 3nodding  

[monkkk]

biggrin whee wink lol  

[arcane magix]

hey j i finally got sum new stuff its at the usual spot.  

[1Rock_Lee_Fanatic]

Sorry I haven't had any new material up in a while. School's been murdering me... gonk

Anyway, I'm gonna have a lot of spare time this week so I might be able to post some new stuff... MIGHT... My computer's kinda been on the fritz lately and I'm not sure of anything... stare