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my parents have been married for twenty-four years. Now, out of no where, my mother says that she has been emotionally shut out from my father for all those years since they've been married. They got seperated about two months ago and now my mother wants a divorce and she is starting to date a guy named Dave.

how am I supposed to feel about all of this happening so fast. i've seen my parents together for the past eighteen and a half years. I don't know what to do.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. it will be hard but for your mother you must be happy for her. When i was small my parents were together, when they were separated i was a bit sad but as i grew up i saw that it was a good decision for her. because staying "together" for kids makes them both miserable. you have to just let your parents live their lives. as much as it hurts.

I've talked to my mother about it and she feels that she doesn't have to explain it to me.

The problem with "grown-ups" is when they go through life changing event like a divorce they suddenly have to reform their identity and they psychologically revert to an almost adolescent mindset. Change is easier when your younger because life changing events happen like every other year.
My guess is that when you asked your mom to explain, she went on the defensive, not unlike a teenager when confronted with someone questioning a lifestyle choice. I'm not saying what your mom did was right or even appropriate, I'm just offering a plausible explaination.
Unfortunately, there's really nothing you can do to change you parents' attitudes toward life and each other. You may even find yourself being the most maturely-behaving person in the room. One of the best things to do for your own peace of mind (in my experience) is to find a constructive distraction for those times when you just can't deal with them or their drama. For example, I took up writing and sculpting when my parents started ripping each other apart.

As to how you are supposed to feel: no one can tell you that. Acknowledge the feelings you do have and address the source. Talk it out with someone who is familiar with your family but won't take sides. Some times the only way to make sense of chaos is to verbalize it.

Try to talk to your parents. I have been through two hard divorces in my life. It pays to stay close. Try to understand it is the best thing for them.

Let your mum know how you feel... that you are sad. It won't change what she is doing... after being in a relationship that was unfulfilling for her for so many years, she probably wants to have something for herself now... you may see that as selfish, but think of the many years she has devoted to raising you... she deserves something for herself, too. I remember thinking that about my mum when my parents separated, but now I know she is happy. It just takes time and getting used to a new situation. Perhaps talking to a grief counsellor will help... i know that may sound strange, but having parents separate is much like losing a loved one, especially id one parent moves very far away.

No matter how much your mum needed to separate and needs stuff for her now, you also have a right to be happy. She is your mother, and thus responsible for you. Let her know that you are really upset and don't know how to feel at the moment, and that you need some support too. Hopefully she is reasomable enough to know that although she may be happier, not everyone is as happy as she is about the separation.

I don't know how far this will go in changing the situation... I doubt whether your parents will get back together. I'm sorry it has happened to you, and knowing that you feel this way has actually helped me in a way, too... I really hope things work out for you.

Everyone reacts differently to these kinds of situations. Don't worry so much about what you think you're "supposed" to feel... How do you actually feel?

I was 12 when my parents got divorced, and for the longest time, I was ashamed to admit...I was relieved. They'd been fighting for so long, and my mother was clearly unhappy, and when she announced she was seeking a divorce, I wasn't upset. I was frigging relieved that I wouldn't have to walk on eggshells around her anymore.

It's hard to see your parents dating other people. Even though I'm the type of person who just rolls with the punches, I have to admit, it was terribly hard to adjust to seeing my mother with a man who was not my father.

Are your parents the kind of people you can open up to? If they are, or if one of them is, sit down with them and just explain how you feel. Be honest, and get it out in the open. Sometimes it's the best thing you can do.