Maybe I Need Some Perspective on This...

[The Dinosaur Next Door]

ATG, I hate to be obnoxious and pour my petty personal issues into the playground of your forum, but I'm at my wit's end. Maybe some of you, with your differing opinions and personalities, can help me put this situation into perspective...

I'm nineteen. I live with my mother. I am supposed to pay $200 a month for rent and do odd chores around the house to assist in the household. I buy some of my own food, but because I'm working retail in a minimum wage position, my mother told me not to worry about food. I let her use my employee discount so that she doesn't pay full price for food she doesn't get the benefit of.
I go rarely go out other than to work or school. I study relatively attentively, though I'm not an Honors student and I have no use for cramming or study groups. When I do go out, it's to the bookstore at my mom's campus (she's a college student as well, going to a university while I'm in community college,) or to the bookstore right beside my job. Last time I went anywhere else was a movie theater, and before that was the mall on my birthday. I want to go out to night clubs and parties, just to get to know more people my age IRL. But I know that my responsibilities and financial stability are more important.
However, my job's cutting hours and I'm trying to pick up shifts to make ends meet. I'm having trouble paying my bills and rent without my student loans, and I'm looking into getting another job to cover my a**. I mistakenly took a shift on a night that I had class. I tried to reschedule to a morning shift, but I was sick this morning and couldn't go in.
On top of all of this, I've been having trouble keeping up in a correspondence art course because I've been running all over the place. We recently moved for the third time in almost two years, and I just recieved a letter from my art school saying that I have to pay another $900 dollars to stay in the course. Earlier this year, my mom fell and dislocated her elbow rather badly. Because of that, I was more or less taking care of her while she was out of work, rather than finishing my art course.
Now I'm broke, trying to find a second job, trying to juggle these godawful bills, and trying to maintain a relationship with a mother who insists on telling me what I'm doing wrong with my life. I have no time for friends and less time for fun. I'm getting sick constantly because of the nasty ******** I work with, and I'm beginning to think that I really need to get a second job, move out of my mom's apartment, and get an apartment of my own. My best option is to live with my cousin (who's a year younger than I am,) but she doesn't have a job and is still in high school. I have to at least wait about six months after she graduates to try to find an apartment we can share. I just don't know if I can keep this up another six months. I'm already a month behind in rent and facing eviction (and yes, my mother will evict me.)

So, any suggestions or helpful comments would be muchly appreciated. Maybe one of you can see a solution that I've missed.
Also, feel free to discuss your own living arrangements and how you make ends meet (if you want to. I know it's gauche to ask.)  

[Taeryyn]

Wow. : ( I would be way beyond my wit's end in your situation. Kudos for handling it so well.

If there is a university where you live, I'm assuming there are lots of students. It's really common here for lots of students to rent a house or large apartment together. It's kinda crowded, but the rent is usually dirt-cheap. I'd take a look in the paper or in the local online classifieds. There might be a group of other students looking for a roommate.

The idea of living with strangers can be pretty daunting, but it's a great way to meet new people that you wouldn't normally encounter. And even if you hate the situation, your cousin is graduating in six months.

I'm not really sure what to tell you to do about your mom. If you leave, it might improve your relationship with her, since you won't be in each other's space.

Wish I had something else to suggest. : ( Income is always the trickiest issue. If you do get a second job, try not to burn yourself out. Easier said than done, obviously, but everything is going to be harder if you're too exhausted to deal with school.

Again, sorry I don't have much to suggest. Good luck.  

[The Dinosaur Next Door]

Ha ha, thanks. I keep wanting to ask seniors if they had as much trouble staying afloat when they were my age.

Oh, yeah. There're loads of students. The thing I'm mostly worried about (rather than living with strangers) is rent security. I mean, if one kid gets evicted, wouldn't the rest of us have to pick up their slack? Besides, if my cousin can't get her act together by the start of the next fall semester, she and I can't move in together (and I don't think she realizes that. She thinks it'll be like a constant sleep-over, I think.)

Ha ha, that if I can find another job.  

[Taeryyn]

A lot of seniors were married when they were your age. xp

As for the rooming-together situation, that worried me, too. I live with three other people, only one of whom I sorta-knew before moving in here.
The girl I sorta-knew, I had heard some things that led me to believe she wouldn't be too reliable with the rent. But apparently she's sorted herself out, and I've had no problems with her. (I have a checking account, so I wrote post-dated cheques, and all the other roomies just give me money each month.)

Before moving in with anyone (and before most people will accept a roommate), that issue should be discussed. Most people will give notice before leaving, so that you all will have time to find a replacement. Talk to the landlord as well. If they're renting to students, the idea must have crossed their minds. : )  

[The Dinosaur Next Door]

Ew @ marriage.
That's really an interesting thought, Tae. It would establish my freedom from my mom and give me a chance to meet other kids. On top of that, I bet I could find a place nearby for my little bike-riding self...
You have a good idea there. I'mm'a do research!  

[Taeryyn]

Having roommates is usually...interesting. x3 I had a roommate in uni, and I've had three sets of roommates since moving to this city.

First group: Three lesbians. @_@ A girl I've been friends with since I was little, and then her two friends. Her two friends mostly paraded around naked and had really loud sex all over the house. It was awkward. Later, another guy moved in, older than the rest of us by 10 years. Big rock-star type.

Then the girls decided they were moving somewhere else, and that left me with the other dude. His girlfriend and her brother moved in. (Second group.) I got along with them, but their work schedules were really different than mine, so they'd have parties and keep me up all night.

So I ended up moving here. Two lesbians and another gay guy. : ) It's a pretty great arrangement.  

[The Dinosaur Next Door]

That's both daunting and impressive. eek
I'm actually a little worried now. I've been historically proven to be a magnet for freaks.  

[Taeryyn]

Freaks can be fun to live with. x3 If you're all students, at least your schedules will mesh well enough.  

[The Dinosaur Next Door]

Oh, not the good kind of freaks. I call to the ones that have only just managed to avoid arrest for criminal insanity... (Not really, but they're not very nice.)
Well, that part is true. If I live with other students (who aren't my mom,) we should have stuff in common, too.  

[Trish the Stalker]

200/month is really cheap where I'm from.

McDonald's and other fast food places are usually better paying than retail and have more flexible hours and allow for easier raises and more advancement when you need it. Maybe also lighten your courseload a bit and it will both give you more time to work and be easier on your bank account.

-La Belle Isolde-

 

[Alarias]

Maybe you could also get a bit of government assistance? Like food stamps or something like that? I mean...that's what it's there for...  

[Trish the Stalker]

Also, if you don't pay your loans off right away it's not the end of the world. Once you're done post-secondary you can get a job and just work it all off, it's what my mom did. It took her all of a year to pay them off.

-La Belle Isolde-

 

[Erverain]

If/when you do get a roommate, it's best if it isn't a person you are already friends with. Ever hear the saying "familiarity breeds contempt?" Room with some people that you know won't welch on their part of the bill, and try to find some sort of common ground. Rooming with relatives and friends only serves to stir up resentments that would otherwise have gone unnoticed.
As for the money situation, well, try to avoid minimum wage. It is not nearly enough to live on.  

[The Dinosaur Next Door]

Well, yeah, but I live in Florida and minimum wage is about all a student can get. I'm actually a quarter more than minimum wage, but I'm still not making enough to pay my rent... cheap or not.
I've been trying to get trained on my store's guest service desk and the food counter so that maybe they'll want to use me more, but they're hip to my plan and they're resisting.
I have to be a full-time student. I am a student before anything else, and I require of myself at the very least least four classes a semester.
I might not be able to move in with my cousin anyway, Erv. She's not a bad kid, but she's a kid. She's been coddled by her mom (even though they fight a lot) and I don't think she realizes what it takes to live on your own. She and her sister both think they can ******** up as much as they want because their parents always swoop in and save them.
I don't know if I'm eligible for food stamps or anything like that, Ala. I may look into it, but I don't know if I'd feel comfortable taking hand-outs when I know others need them worse than I do.

 

[TieselGirl09]

Couldn't you move into Student Accomadation or a shared house.
They work out to be a little bit cheaper.



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