The courage to heal, observations, experiences, and hope

[Sha de Narra]

I've thought a lot about healing from an abuse I recieved as a child from a 'trusted' person, and how it has affected me. I know that there are others, that I am not alone, and after looking through the 25 pages of topics here in ATG, I saw no thread regarding healing. I've been through the book, "The Courage To Heal Workbook", and the book "The Courage to Heal" in therapy a number of years ago, and I was wondering if there are other survivors of molestation and/or other sexual attacks that might be willing to share their story(s) to help others to know they are not alone. It's my hope that maybe, just maybe, someone that thinks they are the only one will learn that they too are not alone, that there is hope and healing for all, gals and guys alike. What about you?  

[TeDdY_bEcHiA16]

you are not alone I suffered, worst a trusted family one...  

[Taeryyn]

You are very, very brave. I don't doubt that it took a lot of courage to open up about yourself in this way, and I think you should be really proud of yourself.

Kudos, really. 3nodding It's also good to know that you've found hope and healing. I'm really happy for you.  

[TeDdY_bEcHiA16]

Yeah, true the worst thing would be to close up and don´t let anyone in. I did it for a while till I saw that not anybody is the same. And that there are friends that could really understand me without wanting me to become depressive or something like that.  

[Sha de Narra]

TeDdY_bEcHiA16

you are not alone I suffered, worst a trusted family one...

teddy, would believe that 90 to 95% of all cases of molestation/abuse are committed by known and trusted family friends? It was my dad's (now ex) best friends son that baby sat me one night when i was 10. I still can't figure out how dad controlled his rage long enough to call the cops, and told them that they better get to his friends house before HE did, and get a car over to our house second, or he was going to take care of it himself. What i didn't know then was that dad had been molested by a man betweeen the ages of 14 and 15 by someone dad's parents knew and trusted, who had been to their house numerous times for meals and fun.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Sha  

[Sha de Narra]

Taeryyn

You are very, very brave. I don't doubt that it took a lot of courage to open up about yourself in this way, and I think you should be really proud of yourself.

Kudos, really. 3nodding It's also good to know that you've found hope and healing. I'm really happy for you.

Thanks. I'm not so sure how brave I am; I wanted to reach out for others. When I had to be hospitalized for severe depression over that issue and a few others, I learned that I am no longer a victim, I am a survivor. That took a while to learn to believe it, but I did learn. During group one time in the hospital, we were taught to raise an arm out from the body parallel to the ground, fist to the sky, and yell NOT ANY MORE! When asked if we would allow such abuse to happen to us or others, we yelled NOT ANY MORE. That was our battle-cry. It's been almost 11 years since then, when I went to the hospital at 14, and many of our group have stayed in touch, and you can bet if there are two or more of us around, we will sound the battle cry NOT ANY MORE!  

[Sha de Narra]

TeDdY_bEcHiA16

Yeah, true the worst thing would be to close up and don´t let anyone in. I did it for a while till I saw that not anybody is the same. And that there are friends that could really understand me without wanting me to become depressive or something like that.

Yeah, bottling it up so no one else can see is a very real and painful way to live. Dad thought I was over it, until 4 years after it happened. I started to injure myself, until I got very close to the ultimate self harm. Bless dad, he knew I was introuble, and he asked me if i was thinking of suicide. I could never lie to dad (or anyone else for that matter), and told him yes. He then told me what was going to happen, and helped me pack a small suitcase, and drove me to the hospital himself. Once I was interviewd and staff determined that I needed to stay INside for a while (being IN means being in the psych unit), dad hugged me, and with all the strength he had, he drove away. Bless him, he had the courage to tell me what he was going to do, and was able to drive off, which is what i needed then. What I didn't know until much later is that dad drove around the corner where couldn't be seen by me, and pulled over and had a good cry. That's my dad.  

[TeDdY_bEcHiA16]

You have a great dad yourself, me I haven´t been able to talk about it, I just stopped talking to him (cousin); never stayed alone with him but haven´t been able to talk about it EVER!!! I just went out of it bymyself and pretended nothing happened. I don´t live in us, the laws are different here. He wouldn´t even go to prison (maybe for 1 night!) so I better didn´t sayed anything...  

[Sha de Narra]

TeDdY_bEcHiA16

You have a great dad yourself, me I haven´t been able to talk about it, I just stopped talking to him (cousin); never stayed alone with him but haven´t been able to talk about it EVER!!! I just went out of it bymyself and pretended nothing happened. I don´t live in us, the laws are different here. He wouldn´t even go to prison (maybe for 1 night!) so I better didn´t sayed anything...

Aww teddy, laws tend to be similar, but there's enough times the laws are dfferent. There's also the statute of limitations, meaning some crimes can not be prosecuted after a certain length of time. if you are able to and ready, i highly reccomend seeing a therapist, to help you find a way to uncork that bad feeling, and pour it down the toilet. it's worth the time to go see one. It really helps.  

[Suma-Kaur]

your definitely not alone thats for sure.  

[TeDdY_bEcHiA16]

Yeah!! wink  

[xMenollyx]

I think it's great that you're dedicating this to healing. I was molested/harassed by my friend and her brother and his frinds for years. The first time wasn't so bad and I told my mom. Later they just attacked worse then before and said it would get worse every time I told. So I didn't tell my mom again til recently since it's been a few years since I've even seen any of them. Now I know that I should have talked to mom sooner but I was scared. It must be nice to know that there is someone you can protect you. I have healed alot since then, but it's still something I'm working on.  

[Izumi Iris]

Very true. Molestation never did occur, but frequent beatings while at home also damages an unkindered soul. *hugs*  

[Dreamy fridge]

well, i couldn't say i've been abused. the thing is, we were both victims, me and my older brother (he is 5 yrs older than me and maybe i was 4 that time). it didn't affected much of my growing up cuz i only discovered it when i was 11. it became a repressed memory. a repressed memory that came as dreams. then, my curiosity dig up the memories. i can't blame him for it. porn was on tv that time and papa was too late to stop it. it was something that we had no idea whatsoever and kuya kept on doing unto me.
i don't have anger really, we were both victims so i don't talk about the story. my mama doesn't even know anything about it.  

[Nikoru Tairuro]

I'm very sorry for what you have experienced through your child hood, but don't let it stop you from doing the things you want to do or accomplish in life. Think of it as a valuable experience that made you a stronger person smile
Hope this made you feel a little on the upside ^^