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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 12:57 am
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 1:36 am
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 2:15 am
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First things first: GOOD FOR YOU! I'm glad you're considering getting some assistance in sorting things out for yourself. I don't even care which things you want to work on, I am very pleased to hear that you're wanting to work on stuff. I know this has absolutely nothing to do with suggestions I've made in the past, but I feel a lot better knowing that you're in that headspace where you're wanting to change things. And you'd be surprised to know what "normal" issues are -- pretty sure just about anything you can come up with falls in the realm of "normal." You're just not psychopath material, m'dear.
I know that talking to someone in person is hella intimidating compared to faceless online, but honestly, I'm not sure you will get someone to step forward and admit certs. Most psychologists have a license similar to a medical license, and certification varies from region to region. I'm suspecting that there's a code of ethics that governs such things, and giving out therapy online would likely at least bend that code. I don't know what kind of setup Ontario has, but out here, you can get a certain amount of free service from the Alberta Mental Health Board that is covered by Alberta Health Care (they stopped charging us premiums as of Jan 1, woohoo!!!).
Best I can say is that I've got some developmental psych under my belt, and behaviour management. Pretty sure I'm not qualified to help, and if I were, I wouldn't anyways for the above-mentioned reasons (including the free stuff -- those shrinks get paid even though you don't pay them. Hooray for public health care!) and also because I have a preexisting friendship with you which would seriously ******** things up eventually.
Also, just because I have to be an a*****e at least a little bit here: Psychiatrists are better than psychologists -- they can prescribe drugs!
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 6:46 am
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Oh my God if I could put into words the feeling of first going to see a counsellor... the sheer terror of it was so overpowering kept me away from seeing a counsellor/psychologist until things got really bad.
So I can relate to that gut-twisting sensation of making a real appointment. But face to face is important - if you have a good therapist the only thing that online allows you to do is to lie to *yourself* more easily. Face to face makes it hard to lie, things are actually there and things work better.
You're in Canada, right GRM? It will be covered by the government if you can get a medical referral, I believe, but talk to your doctor about where the local Canadian Mental Health centre is and be frank and honest with him/her about it (or book an appointment with a doctor you never have to see again, but honestly mine never asks me about my counselling). Talk to the centre about what kind of services they offer, and also, straight out, ask for a female therapist. Talking to a man as a woman, no matter how well trained they may be, is difficult and hard to do. But it's very important to get in to see the right counsellor for you and your needs. Also, don't be discouraged if the first one doesn't work out, ask to be referred to another one. It's all about finding a perfect fit, which you never know until you try it on.
PS: Kals, I find psychiatrists to be a pain in the a** when I see them because they're hard to get appointments with and it's better to fix things without drugs if you can. All but one of the people who've prescribed me anti-depressants have been totally useless. Using the free local services I get regular counselling appointments plus every so often I check in with my psychiatrist (who is in regular communication with my therapist) to see how my drugs are going (which is not well currently). -Formerly La Belle Isolde-
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 7:05 am
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Yes, I believe ACTUALLY seeing someone would be better. Unfortunatly I can't afford to pay one right now, and I think the only places I could go to get it done for free or freeish would be somewhere would I would have to admit myself for a few months. I can't do that right now. GTR has court s**t, which pissed me off this last Friday, and I have kids to take care of. I do understand the importance of REALLY seeing a shrink though, it's just not really an option right now.
Kal, the issues that I used to talk to you about are still issues but the other day GTR and I were talking and we uncovered a LOT more. One being that I don't know or understand HOW to describe ones sexuality. I just don't get it. GTR also believes I have a personality disorder. Since we talked about it last year I've become more angry, and I hate society more and more. I've gotten to the point where I believe everyone is better looking than I am. So I took a hard long look at what I think my future holds for me, and I just don't see it going well if I stay on this track. I see my kids growing up to hate me, and I see GTR leaving me. Neither of which I ever want to happen. So I strongly believe it's time I get fixed.
Also, I'd rather not go on any drugs right now, so I'll try other methods first. I don't want to be all drugged up with children, especially while breastfeeding.
Belle, I do like the idea of booking an appointment with a doc that I'll never have to see again. However I don't believe I'd actually be strong enough to tell them what's going on. But I think I will look into that, if it's covered by the government that would be great!
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 7:10 am
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 7:29 pm
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uh... the psychiatrist comment was a joke, sorry you guys missed it. I was in a mood last night when I wrote that.
Like I said, I don't know how things work in Ontario, but in Alberta you don't need a referral to get your free support from the |Alberta Mental Health Board. You just make an appointment, and you get to talk to a psychologist regularly with support from a psychiatrist if meds are needed. I think it's something like 11 sessions free or something. It's meant to be short term, they'll refer you to someone else if needed for long term support.
The AMHB psychologist was the one who referred me to the U of A Hospital PDT program. My doctor knew nothing about any of it, there was no reason to mention anything unless I was being prescribed meds. I tend not to trust GPs to know their butts from a hole in the ground where mental health is concerned. I asked a GP to refer me for ADHD testing in my first year of Univeristy. He laughed at me, told me I was depressed, not ADHD, and gave me Zoloft (which was a major contributing factor in the series of events otherwise known as me ruining my life, which led to me being ACTUALLY depressed) without ever even considering referring me to a shrink for EITHER thing.
8 years later, I was diagnosed with ADHD and a learning disability that I have always known I had.
So yeah, I do NOT recommend talking to your family doctor unless you think you'll be able to bully him or her into giving you the referral you want. I strongly suggest visiting the Mental Health Service Information Ontario website and contacting them to find out what kinds of options are available in your area. They also do referrals if you need one. But you shouldn't for this kind of thing. It's not like you're looking to have a neural-psych or edu-psych evaluation or anything.
@LaBelle: I don't remember if I said so earlier, but I have been insanely happy to hear that you were getting some professional help as well. I know how hard it is to take that step!
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