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monkkk

PostPosted: Sat May 30, 2009 3:18 pm
ok so I wrote this poem and I want to know if its good

he is her Romeo for she is his Juliet
but his soul dark and angry
shouldn’t mix with hers
her soul so white and pure
her laugh is like clear crystal bells
her smile could brighten a day
her deep green eyes draw you to an instant love

she is his beauty for he is her beast
his heart cold and unloving
his emotions dead except anger hate and sorrow
his rage compelled him to attack the world
she came along and put her hand to his chest
he stopped and took a real look at the world

she moves in to hold him close
her white wings extending and wraps around them
his own, black extends over the top to enclose them
as their hearts are close they beat as one
then they looked into each others eyes
her pure green meets his dark blue

their bodies become close and loving
they never break their eyes away
his heart beats fast and slow at the same time
his body warms and fills with love
for what he died inside came back
he smiles at her and she back

he pulled her closer and mutters the words
the words that would bind him to her
he says it slow and fully
"I love you my beautiful angle"
then she blushes her cheeks so red
that his heart swells

then she says something in return
her voice beautiful and soft she says
"My demon angle I love you too"
his body fills with so much emotion
his body feels like it will explode
but then something happens

they are pulled apart by their brothers and sisters
they fought hard to stay in the loveing embrace
before they are pulled apart
he gives her a gift
he gives her a single black feather
witch she takes and holds to her heart

she in return gives him one of hers
a pure white, lovely feather
witch he holds to her heart
finally they are pulled apart
and whisks them away
from each other, from their love

now our love forbidden they still meet
they declare their love for each other
in every way possible
one day he meets her
he pulls her close
he looks into her eyes lovingly

he asks her to be his forever
she starts to cry for witch saddens him
he pulls her closer and wipes her tears
he asks "why are you crying"
she replies "because Im so happy"
she stretches up and kisses him passionately

"yes" she says "yes ill be yours"
his heart swells again
he thought it would burst
so happy he picks her up and spins her around
but then their brothers and sisters find them
and pulls them apart

he was brought before the elder
"you have broken our law and disobey me"
the elder says while he waves his hand
the others rushs him and strips him down
out flies her feather, gently almost majestically
they take the feather and burn it

they beat him and leave him broken
he lays there without a will to live
his love forbidden to him he has no reason
minutes turns to hours, hours to days
days to years, finally he moves
he stands with his arms and wings spread wide

she walks forward and embraces him
she feels the life nearly gone from his body
they stayed like that for many years
suddenly they turn to stone
now they can’t be torn apart
now their love shall not be forbidden

forever they said they would love each other
forever in each others arms
forever in the loving embrace
for you cannot take one without the other
for now my friends
the story ends

if there is spelling errors im sorry  
PostPosted: Sat May 30, 2009 3:20 pm
soo good????  

monkkk

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Creative Writing/Homework Help

 
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