They told me it was going to be hard, exhausting, that they will treat you like s**t that a whore in a literary way of speaking was going to have more rights than you (oh s**t, that in clinics not now) that there were going to be nights were you could not sleep…well I didn’t care but stuff has been very different this semester, my third semester I felt well I’m still feeling because it hasn’t ended yet very lonely, that medicine does not fill me anymore, maybe it’s the fact that I feel like I don’t fit with the students of my career, its so hard to me making friends from my career I have many friends but not close friends, and I see that everyone else has his like friend that he is with all the time or gf or bf. I have a lot of friends from others careers all and are the ones I go out and everything but it would be nice going to a classroom and always having someone to sit with and talk about your med problems, and not being alone in the hallways. I think it all started with my genetics & embryology teacher, my group and I were in charge of a presentation were we needed to talk about Down Syndrome or syndrome of the chrosome 21 and well I was goofing and laughing but when it was my turn to present I think I was one of the best presenters I knew all about my topic and he even ask various questions and I responded all, and the grades are individually and some of my teammates got 9s so I guess a 9 to and he told me I tell you next class because you did not give the presentation the necessary behavior it needed and I told me yeah you are right maybe I did not but when I t was my turn it was all serious and I was that knew and explain the best and answer all your questions I dominated the topic from top to end you are evaluating that not if Im making faces. Then the next class he told me I got a 5 and I was like no way dude let me do something why and he told me get a 10 on the next test and I may raise your grade the day of that test I had another test also and I got a 6 and then I told him again if I could do something and he told me yeah re take it and, son of a b***h it was totally different from his style and difficulty he as dates he never does that crap and told me I got a 4. I want to kill myself now. In my Molecular Biology class for final assignment we were supposed to do a report of a disease I chose cancer(leukemia to be more specific) and I spent my whole break(a 4 day vacation I took personally, it was 3 the one school gave but I took one more day) reading more than 100 pages for the teacher to tell me Monday yeah I received your work but I wanted treatment and diagnostic molecular not cellular all you put there was cellular I want molecular, and Im like wtf!!! What the hell is molecular I was so angry and piss!!! I started hitting the wall and I left the classroom, also that day I had soccer practique I felt so shitty that day thinking of all that I miss a lot of passes that day and In a personal play I did wrong they score us a gol I felt that day terrible In the end Im so mad at myself that I give a lot and put a lot of effort into what Im doing lately and I don’t see any achievements. Has it happen to any of you stuff like that? Have you had days that you wish you soulnt had wake up from bed?

I had a lot of anger, hatred, and more bad stuff I needed to get rid off