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Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 4:28 am
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Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 6:49 am
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Well, at the very least, don't feel too down on yourself. Communication is hard, especially when it comes to resolving problems. I know that sometimes if someone I know is having a problem, I try to use my own personal experiences to help. Sometimes this can make a person feel like you're making the situation about yourself though. Sometimes, before I bring up a personal example, I'll say something like, "I know my experiences are different from yours, but is it ok if I tell you about something similar that happened to me?"
And men and women have different ways of communicating with each other. When my boyfriend and I started our long distance relationship (>_> see? there I go making a personal reference, but I'm mentioning it hoping that it helps you) we would get into lots of silly arguments just because we'd miscommunicate something.
When we'd have a big argument, I would want to talk it out, but he would want to just drop it and move on. The problem with just dropping an argument without resolving things is that people can be left with hurt feelings, and the sense that they can't do anything about it. Talking through an issue can be very tedious, and sometimes you reaaaaaaaaaaaally don't want to, but I've always subscribed to the "Never go to bed angry" idea. Since my boyfriend and I have to do 90% of our interaction over the phone, we agreed early on that if we had an issue, even if we didn't want to, we'd resolve it instead of hanging up the phone. We also agreed that if one of us became really frustrated and needed a minute to collect our thoughts, we could say, "I'm going to call you right back, give me a minute please."
So I guess my point is that everyone has different ways of communicating with each other. Relationships sometimes take compromise, so if you guys can figure out the ways that you each handle arguments, it might be easier to respect those differences. For example: if she really needs to be able to talk through a problem, maybe you could be more sensitive to that. Or if you personally need a 5 minute break to gather your thoughts, or if it's really late and you'd rather resolve things in the morning, maybe she could be more understanding about that.
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Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 10:11 pm
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Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 10:47 pm
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