- I guess this is just more of a rant? And this is one of the few places where I actually feel safe in posting this kind of thing. Normally, I'd just keep it to myself but it's really getting to me.
Yesterday.
I'm still waiting for the semester to start so there isn't much that I'm doing for the most part. My mother works at a high school; she works in the office. And she's the only one who does her job (no one else does what she does). And with high school starting soon, she has so much she has to do. The lines are wrapped around the building it seems.
So, I figured that I'd call her after my chiropractor appointment to see if she wanted any help. I used to help her when I was in high school. She didn't answer so I decided to drive over and surprise her. She was very surprised and gave me some things to do that would help her. I could tell that she really appreciated me doing this for her. It's also out of the ordinary for me to do something like this. So, she bought me lunch at Taco Bell and later payed me for my work. I told her that she didn't have to and that I did it for her but she insisted. To be polite, I accepted both.
And when I got home, I did a couple chores that she had asked me to do.
Later, when all the family was at home, she thanked me again for the help.
Much later, when dinner was being cooked, something happened...I don't know....
When dinner was just about ready, I came out of my room to do something. I noticed the table was partially set so I finished setting it. I got thanked.
Then randomly, mom called for me from the back where the barbecue was. I thought she needed help with the door because her hands were full.
I went out there but instead, she said, "You're in charge of dinner now." And walked off.
So, I asked her what needed to be done and I got the reply, "You're a smart girl, you'll figure it out."
I told her, "No, I mean, is it finished and needs to be taken off? Does it need to be turned? Did you just turn it and it's still cooking?"
After a couple of minutes, I finally got from her that it was done and that it needed to be take off and brought inside.
So I did. I brought the meat and potatoes inside and put them on the table and was making sure everything was set.
She came in later and.....not necessarily bitched at me but gave me crap for not doing it right.
She never told me that I needed to cut the meat off of the bones. There were three of us and three turkey legs. To be honest, I figured it was finger food night since we had barbecue potato wedges too. Finger food stuffs.
The thing is, she always does this. She'll ask me, my dad or my sister to do something. We'll do it, but she wants it done her way and that's it. And any other way is wrong and she talks down to us.
When she was busy cutting the meat, I had ran into my room, dropped to my knees and prayed. I had a migraine, I was so tired and what she did just really hurt after she had thanked me so much during the day. My dad told me that I didn't have to eat with them if I didn't want to (since this is a normal occurrence with my mother and dad was there for the whole thing, he agreed with me that mom was really being a jerk).
I told him that I would eat with them.
I had to keep praying through dinner for the grace to keep myself under control. I got through dinner okay. And to deviate more from my normal routine, I stayed and did the dishes. I'm a fast eater so I usually eat and leave. But I stayed and did the dishes. I clean things when I'm upset so it didn't bother me none.
During dinner, she was putting down her cooking (again, she does it every night). And it's not something she mentions, she repeats it frequently every night she cooks. It's really annoying and kind of hurtful to hear what she says. And she ignores us when we tell her that it really does taste awesome.
I'm starting to wonder if she has some sort of disorder or if she's bipolar or something.
I know she's under a lot of stress with her parents. They're old and have some bad health issues and my grandmother is regressing and acting like a selfish child.
But even before her parents started going through this stuff, my mother has always acted like this.
And last night, it just really hurt and this morning, I'm still feeling it. So, I just needed to get this out I guess. You can comment if you'd like.
