Needing a bit of advice

[Rica is insane]

First I'd like to apologize that every topic I make in here is me complaining about something. I really am. I'm just terrible at topics unless something is upsetting me.

Alright as many of you are aware my Mom isn't the best mom in the world. Well you'll be not so happy to know that she's at it again.

See my brother Josh...isn't the best kid, he's gotten himself in a bit of trouble and he's very...aggressive about his feelings. And he's not happy with Mom. He's currently living with my dad, who's doing his best to whip my brother into shape but since he's working there's only so much he can do.

Now my mom is taking everything my brother is doing wrong and twisting it so she can paint my Dad out to be a horrible father. She has it put down, on paper, that my Dad is more or less and neglectful, abusive, alcoholic.

Now he's actually the complete opposite....well, aside from the drinking. He does drink...a lot. But he has NEVER gotten aggressive with us, he's always avoided drinking and driving, and he's never been caught drunk at work. So that, can easily be debunked because he doesn't have DUIs or anything like that.

However the abusive and neglectful is a little HARDER to disprove. Because Josh, as much as I love him he's a complete idiot sometimes, despite being warned that Mom would do this, has been acting up and just giving my mother ammunition to do this. And he's got to act on his best behavior...and he hasn't been doing too well.

Now we're going to confront my mother and try and convince her not to take this to court. (She's taking all this to court so she can get permission to take Johnathan and Josh to Georgia despite that the custody papers from before say that she cannot take them more than 100 miles away.) We're doing this on Thursday. If that doesn't work I'm most likely going to have to testify in court.

Now I ask you all for advice here..

-How do I cope with this? I keep choking up and trying to make myself not cry.
-How do I explain to my mother that she'd be fighting her KIDS if she takes this to court?
-How do I balance this with me trying to get myself on my own feet?
-Is there anyway you all can think of where I can get the confidence and 'guts' to do this?
-How do I keep myself from being angry and bitter with my mom when I go home? What about my Nana? She's just as much a 'villain' in this that my Mom is. I live with them it's bad enough as it is.
-How do I get out these feelings so I don't snap at them and possibly get myself kicked out?

There's probably more questions that'll spring up but these are all I can think of.

EDIT: Things have calmed down but of course once I was honest about how I felt about my mother's husband she turned it around on me about how I'm not a adult because I'm having a difficult time finding a job in the worst possible state for this.  

[Thaliat Everwood]

Ugh...I'd almost think getting "kicked out" would be best for you in this situation. At least then you could live with a friend's family and quite possibly have a more emotionally healthy home environment. And it would be easier for you to focus on getting money saved so you could get yourself on your own feet, as you put it.

Seeing as it sounds like you don't want to go down that road at this time, to avoid snapping, put everything in a journal (and hide it well) so you can let it out. It is OK to feel angry and bitter towards those who put you in this unfair position, it is healthy to have these emotions. Just don't be destructive in how you release these emotion...hence why I recommend the journal. Also, if you do have to testify against your mother, the journal will be handy. Chronicle the events/facts as well as your emotional response.

Try talking to your mother and tell her you disagree with what she is doing. Stick to only using facts in your discussion when you explain why you disagree with her actions (so long as you feel it is safe to discuss with her) and let her know that you are prepared to stand against her in court if needed because you feel it is the right thing to do.

These are my suggestions. By all means, do not feel that you need to follow them if you don't think they will work in your best interest. I do not know everything about the situation, but I gave you the best advice I could. I hope it helps some and I hope things get better for you.  

[Taeryyn]

It doesn't sound like the environment you're in is healthy, and if you can, I think you should leave.

I doubt it would be easy, but I think you would have a better time dealing with this if you could get away from the situation somewhat.

It's hard to see a situation clearly and objectively when you're embroiled in it and constantly worked up emotionally.

I agree completely with Thal's suggestion to chronicle what's going on in a journal. Dates, times, what happened, what provoked it, what was said, and how you reacted....
Hell, have a journal for just the facts, and another for the emotional stuff. If you have to go to court, I assume it'll help if you have the incidents and whatnot documented.

Been through the whole nasty-divorce and he-said-she-said stuff with both my parents and my uncle and his wife. :/ There really is no way to win when one person involved is lying and trying to paint the other person in a bad light.  

[Kusaragi]

Man I have to agree with the fact that you're not in an emotionally healthy situation right now. I'm VERY glad that you came forward with this because you feel comfortable talking with us about this. It shows that you do have a small outlet for these confused feelings with us.

when it comes to these family disputes its hard for the courts to find the truth because everyone is either trying to paint someone else as the "bad buy" or painting themselves to be perfect. Using Thal's suggestion and making a journal of the important details could be the best thing you can do. Writing down all the hardships that you and your brother are going through (mostly caused my your mother by the sounds of it) will shed light on the real situation. Just be SURE that she doesn't find it or she'll only make your life harder.

In my personal opinnion She's not even thinking of your well being. She's just trying to stir up trouble to make herself feel more important and I REALLY can't stand stuff like that.

I feel your pain and I hope that you make it though this well. *Huggles*  

[Rica is insane]

Thank you all for the advice. I'll certainly start working on those things. Especially getting out, my Dad knows I want to move in with him but him living with Granny at the moment I'm not able to. I've been trying to get out of here for a while now but I don't have...well it hasn't been going well. That's the biggest reason I want a job...so I can get away.

I'll certainly start writing/typing these things down, especially after what happened tonight. My Dad told my Mom that we were all going to talk to her instead of just her and him. She confronted me and my sister about it and I told her that I couldn't say anything because I'll get emotional and when I get emotional I clam up and screw up my words. Which isn't a lie. I had nothing prepared so I would end up just bursting into tears and turning into a complete mess. She takes that and turns it around as me and my sister disrespecting her.

She wants to pretend that me and my sister should have nothing to do with all this, that we aren't effected by this at all. And it's not going to work that way. Maybe I'm just being bitter and angry, but after all she's done I feel no remorse for her feeling we're being 'disrespectful' for telling her the damn truth.

-sigh- I'll start on that journal soon enough. Hopefully I'll manage to get my thoughts straight enough to get things down correctly.