The "Adventure": A Pokemon Story. [Closed till after xmas]

[A Nice Salami]

I caution you before reading this: Some of the content featured in this may not be suited for all readers, or for those who are younger than 16, so if you fall under this, then please lurk on the Internet a bit more, or you could perhapse, catch up on the quality programming that was on back in the 90's. There is a good bit of immature jokes, so if you don't laugh, then there's something wrong with you. All copyrights and trademarks are owned by their respective owners.


~GAME UPDATES~
*Started my Adventure with Chikorita the Totodile!
-Arrived in Violet City and got my Running Shoes and Town Map!
-Arrived at Mr. Pokemon's house and obtained my Pokedex!
-Returned to Violet City and fought Ducks, my rival, and won!
-Returned to New Bark Town, and visited Professor Elm.
-Had my mom save my money, now it's off to catch 'em all!
*On the way to Violet City:
-Caught a Rattata, and named him Dicks
-Made it to Violet City without a single death!
*While in Violet City:
-Tackled the Bellsprout Tower, and caught NoBalls, The Ghastly!
-Obtained the Zeypher Badge from Falkner!
Current Team Stats:
Chikorita: Level 12
Dicks: Level 12
NoBalls: Level 5
-Onward to Azalea Town!
*On the way to Azalea Town:
-Caught Panchito the Mareep!
*Arrived in Azalea Town, and immediately started to rout Team Rocket from the Slowpoke Well
-demolished ducks, squashed bugsy. BADGE GET!
-made it through ilex forest, and am now at Goldenrod City
-crushed Whitney with NoBalls, and made it to Ecruteak City
-power owned Ducks. He should think about getting stronger. Lost Panchita to a freak Magical Leaf attack.
-Now currently fighting in the Gym for the 4th badge.
*Done with gym 5, returning to olivine city.
*Finished the rest of the gyms, caught lugia, and now am off to E4
*Off to Kanto!
Lt. Surge beaten. Damn Double Team....



~STORY UPDATES~
Chapter 6 done!
Chatper 7-10 to be released 11/26/10-11-28-10


AWWWWWWWRIGHT! Now that I *FINALLY* got my copy of Pokemon: SoulSilver in, It's time to start on the hardest challege of my 14 years of Pokemon: A Nuzlocke Run.

For those who don't know what a Nuzlocke Run is, you can look at the Nuzlocke Challenge thread here)
RULES! (All young trainers have to follow rules)
The rules that I am using are, as follows:
(Some are taken from here, some are custom-made).

> You have to catch the first Pokemon in an area that isn't a duplicate
> ONE Pokemon center visit before, and after a Gym Battle (execpt for Pokemon Centers in the wild (before caves, and events that auto-cure Pokemon)
>>Note: This does not count for Mt. Silver, as Red is a ''Gym Battle".. No inbetweens, All Items are allowed
> No legendaries


Before actually starting, I frequented 4chan's Pokemon board, and had them decide my name, my rival's name, and my starter pokemon, as well as the names for all 6 of the pokemon that I am using, which are:
My name: Dicks
My rival's name: Ducks
Chikorita the TotodileFeraligatr
DicksBobbeh the RattataRaticate
NoBalls the GhastlyGengar


Deaths:
Panchita the Togepi
Cause of Death: 3rd rival battle, died because of a massive Magical Leaf freak accident. You will be missed.
Level 1 - Level 18
Panchito the MareepAmpharos
Cause of Death: 5th Gym Battle, died to a Dynamic Punch attack to the skull. You will be missed.
Level 6 - Level 38
Keanu, the ZubatCrobat
Cause of Death: 8th Gym Battle, died because of a Dragon Pulse attack. You will be missed severely.

Replacements:

Panchito was replaced by a Tyrogue, which later evolved into a Hitmonchan, nicknamed KimboSlice.
Panchita was replaced by a Tyrogue, which later evolved into a Hitmonlee, nicknamed BruceLee.
Keanu has yet to be replaced, and probably won't be replaced.

*This first post will be where I keep all the updates, such as when I get to a town, when I catch a pokemon, or (should it ever hapen), one of my pokemon die.

*The second post will have the actual story. All other posts are open for posting.

Now sit back, and enjoy the heroic tale of how Dicks the Pokemon Trainer becomes Pokemon Champion!  

[A Nice Salami]

This story is purely for lulz. Pokemon, Pocket Monsters, and all other names and licences are copyright The Pokemon Company, Game Freak and Nintendo, 2010. All trademarks are owned by their respective owners.

This story is copyright 2010 Ninja Industries. It is not to be edited, defamed, plagarized, or copied, in ANY way, shape, or form, without the written consent of me, AssNinja4759. It is also not to be on any other site, than Gaia Online. If you see this on any other site, please notify me, and I will deal with it.

Chapter 1: The Beginning! - d**k's Greatest Adventure?

Dicks woke up one evening, after an epic gaming session the night before, to the smell of his mother's horrible cooking. Looking over at the clock, it read 6:40pm. "Crap, I can't believe I slept in!" Rushing down the stairs, his mother was running around the kitchen, trying to put the fire out. "Damnit, I can't believe I burned the lasanga again! I'm a terrible mother!" She cried out, extingushing the would-be dinner. "Oh, Dicks, I see that you are finally awake! Professor Elm asked you to go see him at his labortory. "Okay mom", Dicks replied, putting his shoes on outside. "Don't worry, you'll be a fine cook one day!" He ran off, leaving his mother to deal with her disaster.

Running as fast as he could to Professor Elm's labortory, he spotted his childhood friend, Lyra, playing with her Maril. "Hey Dicks, you want to play with Maril"? She asked, watching the mouse pokemon bounce up and down on it's tail, squeeing with delight. "Sorry, can't play today Lyra, I've gotta go see Professor Elm!" "Awww!" She exclaimed, a big frown on her face, "We never get to play anymore!"

Dashing into Professor Elm's labortory, Dicks quickly found the young professor typing on his computer. "Oh, Dicks, I'm finally glad you could make it here. I have a favor of you, if you don't mind". Panting, Dicks quickly nodded, wondering what could Professor Elm want with him. "You see those Pokeballs over there? I want you to pick one, so I can see the relationship between Pokemon and Trainer." Confused, Dicks pointed to the Pokeballs also. "Me? Pick a Pokemon? Are you sure about this Professor Elm?" He stated, still somewhat baffled. "Yes Dicks. Now, if you could, please go pick a Pokemon, and bring it over to me." Professor Elm looked onward as Dicks walked over to the machine that held 3 pokemon: Cyndaquil, Chikorita, and Totodile. Dicks picked up Totodile's Pokeball, and threw it up into the air. "I choose you!" He yelled out, and Totodile was there at his foot, jumping around wildly.

"Ah, I see that Totodile has taken a liking to you already Dicks", Professor Elm chuckled to himself. Suddendly, his computer went off. YOU HAVE MAIL! YOU HAVE MAIL! It loudly blurted. "Whoa, what could this be?!" Professor Elm exclaimed, running over to his computer. "What's the matter Professor?" Dicks asked in wonderment, Totodile still dancing at the young trainer's feet. "This.. THIS IS AMAZING!" Elm jumped up and around, almost just like Totodile was. "Dicks, I need you to go over to Mr. Pokemon's house, and see what he has for me." "Why should I", the young trainer replied. "Don't you know I've got mother's crappy 3-cheese burnt lasanga waiting for me?" Elm looked at Dicks, then looked at Totodile, then looked back up at Dicks again. "I'll let you keep this Totodile if you do it." Immediately Dicks perked up, then stared at Professor Elm. "I'll do it!"

"That's good. Now go tell your mother that you have to go do this for me. I'm sure she'll also want to see your new Pokemon!" Elm said, grinning a happy grin. Happily, Dicks ran out of Elm's labotory, and back to his house, with Totodile right behind him. "Mom, I'm going to run an errand for Professor Elm, love ya bye!" He yelled, not even stopping to see what she was doing. "O-Ok!" She yelled, walking to the door that her son just ran out of. "BE BACK IN TIME FOR DINNER, YOU HEAR?!" And thus Dicks and his new partner, Totodile, began their journy to become Pokemon Masters.

Chapter 2: To Mr. Pokemon's House! - The Crazy Old Man?

"Hmm.. If you are going to be my Pokemon, then you should have a kick-a** nickname.." Dicks said, looking down at his new Pokemon friend. "Toto!" Totodile exclaimed, glomping Dicks before dancing about. "But what would be totally kick-a**... Ah! I know! Your name is now... Chikorita!" Dicks grinned, looking over at Totodile. "Chikorita, we are going to become Pokemon Masters!" "Tototo!" Chikorita exclaimed, before glomping Dicks again.

After some random battles with weak trainers, Chikorita was looking a little roughed up, but otherwise fine. "Hey, there's Cherrygrove City! Let's stop and take a rest Chikorita." Walking up to the city limits, an old man popped out of no where. "HEYA KIDDO! YOU LOOK LIKE A NEW TRAINER!" Shouted the old man, scaring Dicks and Chikorita. "WAHHHAA!" the duo shouted back, falling on their butts. "That's not cool old man! You could have given us heart attacks!" Chikorita growled at the old man, readying a viscious Bite attack. "WHOA WHOA! HOLD ON NOW! I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU YOUNG FOLK OUT!" The old man shouted again, irritataing Chikorita. "Ugh. Fine old man. Just hurry the hell up, I've got important business to take care of." "BWAAHAHA! YOU WON'T REGRET THIS!" The old man shouted, running circles around Chikorita and Dicks.

"HERE'S THE POKEMON CENTER, USE IT TO HEAL POKEMON! AND THERE'S THE POKEMART! OVER THERE'S THE WAY OUT OF THIS PLACE, BUT YOU WON'T LEAVE ME BECAUSE I'M OLD AND FRAIL AND I'LL DIE! THERE'S THE WATER. PEOPLE DROWN EVERY DAY, BUT I HAVEN'T BECAUSE I'VE GOT THE PEP OF A 10 YEAR OLD, AND LOOK OVER THERE, THAT'S MY HOUSE!" The old man had quite literally ran and shouted all over the city, scaring kids left and right, and caused quite a few people to get irritated as well. "Old man, are we done yet? My Chikorita and I really need a rest.." Dicks said, sitting down on the ground with Chikorita next to him. "BWAHAHAH! DON'T LET AN OLD MAN RUN LAPS AROUND YOU! BYE NOW!" He said, dashing back into his house and locking the door. Dicks looked over to his partner, and smiled softly. "Damn old people. Let's get you to a Pokemon Center, so that you can rest up."

Picking Chikorita up, Dicks walked to the Pokemon Center, and ploped him up on the counter for Nurse Joy to look at. "Nurse, could you please take a look at Chikorita, and make sure that he's okay?" He said, wearily. "Sure thing Mr. Dicks, we will get right on it." "Blisssy!" After a few hours, and a much needed nap, Dicks awoke to find that Nurse Joy and Blissy was standing right beside him. "Mr. Dicks, your Chikorita is healthy and ready to continue your journy. Thank you for using the Cherrygrove City Pokemon Center, and please visit us again!" "Blissyy!" Looking over at Chikorita, Dicks grinned again, and patted his friend on the head. "Come on bro. We've got to finish what the Professor asked of us!" "Tototodiiille!!"

Chapter 3: Mr. Pokemon's House! The Scare of a Lifetime?

Dashing from the Pokemon Center, Dicks and Chikorita make it to the exit to Cherrygrove City, when they hear the familar shouts of the old man they encountered earlier. "WAIT JUST A COD FLABERGASTED SECOND! I FORGOT TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING!" Stunned, the duo turn around to see, sure enough, the old man running full force towards them. "Not this guy again.." Dicks sighed, and waited for him to catch up. "WAIT JUST A SECOND. I FORGOT TO GIVE YOU THESE!" "These... these what?" Dicks said, now more confused than ever. "MY SHOOOOEEESSSSSS..... THEY ARE STILL WARRM." Jump-kicking into the air, the old man launched his Running Shoes at Dicks and Chikorita, with a sly, yet creepy grin across his face. "If you take these, you'll run twice as fast as you ever could!" The old man said, no longer shouting. The shoes hit Dicks in the head, and he let out a loud scream as he got quite pissed from getting hit in the head.

''WHAT THE HELL OLD MAN! YOU CAN'T GO KICKING YOUR WARM RUNNING..." He stopped mid-sentence, and decided to put them on. ".. Hey. These are actually kinda comfortable. Thanks old man." "Don't mention it kiddo. And to repay you for hitting you in the head, here's this Town Map. It won't tell you where if you get lost, but it'll tell you where you are." Chikorita looked at the old man, and shot him a Scary Face attack, then turned back to his partner. "Toto.." Dicks looked down, and nodded. "Yea Chikorita, I agree. I'm sorry old man, but we've got to get going. I'm off to be the world's greatest Pokemon Master!"

And so, with an useless map, and a pair of warm shoes, Chikorita and Dicks walked off into the sunset on their way to Mr. Pokemon's house. After a while of walking, the duo came across a house, which resembled a Pokemon. As soon as they got to the door, it flew open, and a furry dressed up in, what looked to be a Charmander outfit greeted them. "MMmmmmm... Welcome to my house young ones. You must be Dicks, and ooh what's this? A Totodile.. Mmm.. Very nice. Come in, come in.." Relunctantly Dicks and Chikorita walked in, and saw Professor Oak over by a table, dressed in his standard white lab coat, brown khakis, and loafers.

"So um.. Mr. Pokemon... I take it?" Dicks asked, not sure of his current situation. "Yes, mmmhmm... I am Mr. Pokemon. When Elm said that he was sending you, I got very, how should I say.. Excited. MMhhhhmmm..." "Oooooookayy.. This totally isn't creppy, isn't it Chikorita? Dicks said, kneeling down to rub Chikorita's head. "Diiille... Totodile.." Totodile responded, not sure what to think of the situation. "Anyways, what was it that you wanted me to bring to Professor Elm, Mr. Pokemon?" Dicks asked, keeping his guard up. "Mmmmhhhmmm... Yea.... About that. You see this Egg? I think it's a special egg. I've been sitting on it, trying to hatch it, but it won't hatch, so I want you to take this to Elm for further, how should I say... Evaluation? Oh, Professor Oak wants to tell you something." With this, he handed Dicks the mystery egg, and backed off into the shadows, to probably yiff off.

"Damn furries..." Dicks mumbled. Oak got up from his seat, and walked over to Dicks and Chikorita. "Hey Dicks, so you are the person Elm sent over. OOH RARE POKEMON!" Oak quickly looked down at Chikorita, and winked at him. "So, um... You wanted to give me something?" Dicks asked, now starting to question Professor Oak. "Oh yea. Take this Pokedex and go fill it for me. I would do it, but I'm old and like getting 10 year old boys to fulfill my hopes and dreams." Dicks again turned to Chikorita, and shook his head. "The things I do."Oh Dicks, before you go, why don't you mmmhmm.... Stay the... night?" With eyes wide open, Dicks and Chikorita hurried out the door, and slamed it shut. "STRANGER DANGER, NO MEANS NO!" He yelled, boarding Mr. Pokemon's house shut. "What the hell... was Professor Elm thinking?! Sending a 10 year old to a house that belongs to Lester the Molester and a *****. Chikorita, we need to deliver this egg... whatever the hell it is to Elm quick, before those old perverts try to warp our young and pure minds." Chikorita nodded quickly, then looked up at his Trainer. "Toto, Totodile!!" Dicks looked at his PokeGear, and groaned. "Hello?" ''DICKS COME QUICKLY, I NEED YOU BACK AT THE LAB! WE HAVE TROUBLE!" The call ended just as fast as it started, and it left our young trainer in even more confusement. "Damnit.. I swear, the things I do."

Chapter 4: The Mysterious Kid! Is He My Rival?
"Toto.. totodile." "I agree Chikorita, you are totally cool. Now let's go see what Elm wants." With this, the duo headed back to New Bark Town. On the way back, a mysterious boy bumped into them. "Hey, watch where you are going, jerks!" The boy said, glaring at Dicks and Chikorita. "Why don't you watch where YOU are going?!" He retorted, standing back up. "GGGGGGGGGGRRRRRR POKEMON BATTLE. RIGHT NOW" the little boy yelled, throwing his Pokeball up in the air. "Chikorita, let's show this twerp who he is dealing with!"

Dicks grinned, sending his Totodile out to battle the mysterious boy. "Chikorita, use Razor Leaf!" The boy shouted, as a Chikorita appeared, and immediately shot leaves at it's opponent. "Chikorita, dodge it and use Water Gun!" Just as the leaves were about to crash into the young Totodile, he jumped up and launched a torrent of water at tne grass Pokemon. "CHIKORITA, NO!" The attack hit Chikorita hard, and flung the Chikorita across the battle field and into a tree. "Great work Chikorita!" Dicks said with a big smile on his face. "That'll teach people not to mess with the person who's going to become the greatest Pokemon Master of ALL TIME!" Chikorita landed on its master's head, and softly bit him. 'Tototototodiiilllleee!"

"I... I.. I WON'T FORGET THIS YOU BIG MEANIE!" The young boy said, running off with his Chikorita in his arms. Chikorita looked down at the ground, and noticed that the young kid had dropped his Trainer Card. "Toto?" He said, pointing down so that Dicks could see it also. "Ahh... So his name is Ducks... Very similar to my name." Dicks said, moving his head back and forth. "HEY DUCKS, YOU DROPPED YOUR TRAINER CARD!" Ducks looked in his pocket, and he had indeed dropped it. Rushing back to Dicks, he snatched his card out of the trainer's hand, and ran away crying like a little baby.

"Well... Hey Chikorita, let's get this egg thingy back to Elm. I'm sure he's having a mid-life meltdown." "Toto." And so. the dynamic duo headed back on their way to New Bark Town. When they arrived, they open the door to Elm's lab, and were greeted by Officer Jenny, who immediately hand cuffed them. "Whoa! Hey! WHAT'S GOING ON?!" Dicks cried out, startled and confused as to what was going on. "Shut it, you criminal scum. The thief always returns to the scene of the crime to steal even more Pokemon." She stated matter-of-factly. "But I didn't do anything! I'm innocent I tell yo-" "I said shut up you thief. I can't stand the likes of you!" Jenny cut him off, and began to kick him out of the lab, when Lyra busted in. "Hey Jenny, you let my friend go!" She glared, her Maril ready to let loose a Water Gun attack. "Dicks can't be the culprit, it was a red-headed boy!" "Oh?" Jenny said, beginning to uncuff Dicks. "Hey... I ran into a red-headed boy on the way back, and -" "Wait just a second," Jenny said, looking dutifuly at Dicks, "Did you happen to get his name?" "Yea, as a matter of fact I did." Pulling her pad and pen out, she looked over at Dicks again, who was picking up Chikorita. "Could you give it to me?" She pleaded. "It was Ducks." He said, putting his partner on his head. "Thank you. Elm, myself and the rest of the Jennys are going to get right on it." With this, she left the lab, and Dicks let out a huge sigh. "Dicks, go on a journy and become a Pokemon Master. Before you go, be sure to go home, eat your mom's crappy cooking for the last time, and be sure to change your underwear every day."

"Really... The things I do. Anyway, here is your stupid egg thingy Professor Elm. I'm going home." Leaving the lab, he could hear crashing noises coming from the lab, and Elm screaming like a wild Mankey. "Hey mom, I'm home!" Dicks said, smelling the now burning pot roast his mom had made earlier. "O..Oh, welcome home hunny. My, your Totodile is looking quite healthy. Is he hungry?" She asked, extinguishing the roast. "His name is Chikorita, and yea, we are both very hungry Mom. Mind if we just have sushi and rice like we always do when your cooking sucks?" He asked, opening the windows so that the smoke doesn't engulf the rest of the house. "Oh, finee. I guess I'll never be a good house wife. Your grandma was right, I should have just stuck to being a Pokemon breeder. Atleast I was good at that!" she exclaimed, looking at her many awards and acolades.

The next morning, with a new resolve to become Pokemon Master, Dicks left with Chikorita on his way to become the very best, that no one ever was. He said goodbye to his mom, and had her save up some money, because you never know when you can use extra money. "Chikorita, we are going to need a strong team to beat the Gym Leaders, so let's go catch them all!" Dicks said, grinning as he walked out of the town's limits. "DIIIICKS! DICKS! WAIT UP FOR MEEEE!" A voice in the background shouted. As he turned around, he saw Lyra running towards him, with Maril right on her heals. "Dicks, you are going to need these Pokeballs in order to catch wild Pokemon." She handed them to him, and smiled softly. "Ok, I gotta go now! Bye Dicks and Chikorita!" Dicks smiled back as she ran off into the distance.

Chapter 5: The First Gym Battle! Is It A Do or Die Moment?
Coming back up on Cherrygrove City, Dicks and Chikorita decided to take a quick rest before making their first attempt to go to Violet City, and Falkner, the first Gym Leader. "Chikorita, you as hyped as I am to start winning badges?" Dicks said to his pal, who was munching on a sub. "TototototototoDIIIIIIIILLLLEEEEE!!" Dicks laughed, then patted Chikorita on the head. "I'll eat to that!"

After lunch, the duo picked a few things up at the local Pokemart, then made their way off to Voilet City. As they were nearing the city limits, a young trainer stopped them. "Are you trainers?" He asked, tossing his Pokeball up and down in his hand. "Yea, why do you ask" Dicks responded, looking a little puzzled. "Rattata, I choose you!" Chucking his Pokeball in the air, a small Rattata popped out, and assumed it's battle stance. "My Rattata is TOP PERCENTAGE, and there's NO WAY you can beat him!" "..." "Haha, what's wrong, did I leave you speechless?" The young boy grinned, putting his Rattata's Pokeball back into his belt holster. "Oh Geeze Louise.. Chikorita, let's show this little kid and his Rattata what being TOP PERCENTAGE is all about!"

Dicks put his shades on, and sent his Totodile out to the battle field, and smirked. "Chikorita, let's end this quickly. Water Gun, LET'S GO!" "Rattata, let's put that whimp down with a Hyper Fang!" The young Rattata launched itself into Chikorita's attack, fangs barred and ready to inflict massive damage. "Chikorita, dodge it and let's go with a Bite attack of our own!" Chikorita jumped up into the air, and came down on the mouse Pokemon, chomping down on it's head. "RARARARARATATATATATATATARATATATATTAAAAA!!" "RATTATA, NO!" The young boy yelled out, noticing that his pokemon was losing, and losing quite fast. "Rattata, try to see if you can't fling it off of you and hit it with a Tackle attack!" But it was already too late. As Chikorita unclamped itself from the young Pokemon, Rattata had collapsed, and fainted. "Haha.. Looks like your Rattata..." Dicks pulled his shades off, and grinned. "... Bit the dust." From the distance, a 'YEEAAAAH!!' could be heard, which only added insult to injury. "Rattata, return!" A beam of red light flew towards the fainted Pokemon, and the little kid looked at Dicks. "Hey, you are strong. Here's my number. I want to battle you again sometime." With this, the young trainers exchanged numbers, and Dicks walked into Violet City, and began to mentally prepare himself for his first big Gym Battle.

Walking to the Pokemon Center, Dicks wondered in amazement at the giant tower that swayed over the city. "Whoooaaa.." "Yea, that's Bellsprout Tower. She's a bute, ain't she?" An older man said, walking past the duo. "Chikorita, I think we should train a bit before beating the gym to pieces. What do you think?" The young trainer looked up, but Chikorita was already fast asleep. "Damn. Sleep well buddy, You earned it." Hours passed, and when morning came, the two were ready to tackle Bellsprout Tower. "Awwwright, let's do this Chikorita!" "Ttotodiiillee!" Nurse Joy wished them the best of luck. As soon as they got to the entrance, they looked up, and saw that the massive tower appeared to pierce the Heavans. With resolve, the dynamic duo flung the doors open, and started to climb the tower.

Along the way, Dicks managed to catch a Rattata, whom he promptly named Dicks, and a Ghastly, whom he named Noballs, both of which made him and Chikorita giggle. When they arrived at the top of the tower, they felt stronger, and saw Ducks fighting an old man. (Now, one would think that fighting an old man is wrong, but it's perfectly natural for a 10 year old boy and someone who's got an IV to be battling critters like, OVER 9000 feet up in the air. Really.) After crushing the man's hopes and dreams, Ducks jumped out of the window, stealing a TM and an Escape Rope, which he promptly used to avoid from splattering on the ground below. "Chikorita, I think we should leave the old man alone. He's had a bad day, and he could use some sleep. What do you think?" The young Totodile nodded his head, and together they made their way back down Bellsprout Tower, and on their way back to the Pokemon Center for a rest.

The next morning, making sure that Chikorita, Dicks, and Noballs were fully healed and ready to take down Falkner, the team made theiri way over to the gym, which was as tall, if not taller, than Bellsprout Tower. "Guhhh. I hope we don't have to climb that entire tower again, My legs are SO SORE from yesterday!" Dicks complained, rubbing his legs. Chikorita slapped him on the leg, and then hit him with a tiny Water Gun. "Totodillee, dile tototo!" "What the hell?!" Dicks chased after Chikorita, all the way up to entrance to the Violet City Gym. Opening the doors, they saw someone standing next to two Pokemon statues, one which had carved into it 'Gary was here, Ash is a looser'. "So, I take it you are just starting your journy to becoming Pokemon Master?" The person asked. "Yep. That's why I'm here creepy dude" Dicks responded, giving his pokemon berries to make sure they were fully healed. "You know, I can coach you into becoming Pokemon Master.." The man replied, looking at the young boy, "... That is, if you'll let me." "STRANGER DANGER! NO MEANS NO! NOBALLS, USE LICK, THEN CHIKORITA USE WATER GUN!" Dicks screamed out, obviously not wanting to become the victom of an attempted rape. "Ghhhaaaaaaassstllyyyyy.." Ghastly lashed it's long tounge against the pervert, paralyzing him, then Chikorita followed up with a Water Gun attack that sent him flying out of the side of the Gym, putting a hole in the side of it.

"I swear, I can't take much more of people wanting my young, muscular body... It's REALLY starting to annoy the hell out of me. Noballs, you did great. Return!" A beam of red light shot out to the Pokemon, returning it to it's ball. "Chikorita, are you ready to go take down this Falkner dude?" The young Totodile nodded his head, and walked on into the next room, where there was only a small platform. "Hmm.. Hey, Chikorita, return to your Pokeball. I don't want anything to happen to you." The same beam of light that returned Ghastly to it's ball also sent Chikorita to it's ball, then Dicks stepped onto the platform. After a few seconds, it shot skyward, then stopped suddendly, and there he saw the gym leader. "I am Falkner. My dad intrusted this gym to me, and I'll show everyone the power of bird Pokemon! The top of the Gym extended further up into the sky, and a platform extended its way for Dicks to stand on, and a referee flew down from sky. “Then it's agreed! This will be a 2 on 2 Pokemon battle!. The first trainer to have both Pokemon faint will lose, and should the Leader lose, he must confer upon the challenger his or her gym badge. I shall act as referee, me Mr. Referee, so no one gets hurt. Trainers ready? GYM BATTLE, BEGIN!"

Chapter 6: Flying High, Crashing Fast! Did I really just?
"CHIKORITA, LET'S DO THIS!!" "PIDGEY, HIT THEM HARD WITH A PECK!" Both trainers let loose their pokemon, and Falker looked suprised to see that Chikorita was really a Totodile. Dicks smirked as he saw Falkner's Pidgey coming in fast. "Chikorita, dodge and use Water Gun!" Chikorita waited till the last second, and jumped out of the way, and blasted Pidgey with a quick and powerful Water Gun attack. "Fantastic job Chikorita!" "Pidgey, try to find someplace to land and use Roost!" Flying around the arena, Pidgey found a small ledge and started to use Roost. Dicks saw the opening that Pidgey hat left, and used it to his advantage. "Chikorita, finish it with Water Gun!" The young Pokemon let loose a devastating Water Gun, and Pidgey couldn't anything to stop it. With just 2 attacks, the young Pidgey was defeated. "I declare Pidgey unable to battle, Chikorita wins!" Mr. Referee threw d**k's flag up, and the board read 'Dicks - 1 Falkner - 0'. "Fantastic work Pidgey, you earned a good rest." As the red beam of light returned Pidgey to it's Pokeball, Falkner grinned, and readied his last Pokemon. "Now things are really heating up. PIDGEOTTO, LET'S COOK THIS YOUNG FOWL!" Throwing Pidgeotto's Pokeball up, Falkner looked dead into d**k's eyes. He chuckled, then looked at Chikorita. "You still want to finish this one out?" Chikorita nodded, and re-took his place on the field.

"Round 2, Chikorita vs Pidgeotto. BEGIN!" "PIDGEOTTO, HIT 'EM HARD WITH A QUICK ATTACK!" "CHIKORITA, WAIT TILL THE LAST SECOND TO DODGE IT AND USE BITE ATTACK!" Chikorita stood there and waited till the last second, then jumped out of the way and bit down hard on Pidgeotto's leg. "Awesome job Chikorita!" "Pidgeotto, are you alright?!" Pidgeotto let out a wail, and used pure strength to fling Chikorita off of it's leg, which was injured. "Damnit, Pidgeotto, try to use Roost to regain your strength back!" Dicks smirked, and saw that Chikorita was still quite healthy. "Right where we want him. Chikorita, let's finish this. WATER GUN ATTACK!" Chikorita followed Pidgeotto, and waited for the right time to unleash the knock-out blow. "Come on come on, just land already!" "Ahaha.. Gotchya. Pidgeotto, Sand Attack!" Pidgeotto flapped its wings hard, and kicked up a sand cloud that blinded Chikorita. "Good, now hit them hard with a Quick Attack!" Pidgeotto flew into the cloud, and hit Chikorita hard, knocking him against the wall. "Chikorita, NO!!!" Chikorita fell down, but wasn't out just yet. Not wanting Chikorita to lose, he pulled the young Pokemon's ball out. "CHIKORITA, RETURN!" Before any more damage could be done, Chikorita was safe in it's ball. "You did great Chikorita. You deserve a good, long rest. Now, Bobbeh, let's do this!" Throwing out his Rattata's Pokeball, the newely caught Dicks appeared, barring highly-sharpened fangs. "You ready to do this?" "Rattata!"

"Bobbeh, let's try to finish this quick with a Quick Attack, then follow it with a Tackle attack!" Speeding like a bolt of lightning, Bobbeh jumped up high into the air, meeting Pidgeotto at eye-level, then hitting the bird with a strong Tackle attack, knocking it out of the air before it could whip another Sand Attack up. "Awesome job Bobbeh!" Watching as his prized Pidgeotto fell back down to his side of the battle field, his grin quickly turned into a shock of horror. "Pidgeotto, are you still able to battle?!" the young gym leader cried out. Pidgeotto, for a brief minute, struggled to get back to it's feet, before finally laying back down. "Pid...geeoo.......bleh." "Pidgeotto is unable to continue. Thus Dicks takes the match, and with all of Falkner's Pokemon unable to battle, Dicks wins!" As soon as Mr. Referee finished, he jumped down off his ledge, before jet-packing out of the arena before the dome closed.

Falkner chuckled to himself, then returned his Pidgeotto to it's Pokeball. "Dicks, as winner of our match, I confer upon you this Zephyr badge." "Awesome!" Jumping up into the air, he shouted.." "Alright, I got... THE ZEPHYR BADGE!!!" "Totototodiiilleee!!" "Falkner, do you know where the next badge would be?" Dicks asked, eager to quench his thirst for a second Badge. "Why don't you try the Gym in Azalea Town? I heard Bugsy is quite strong.~" As soon as he heard this, Dicks and Bobbeh, dashed out of the gym, and made a beeline straight for Azalea Town, and his second Gym Badge.

Chatper 7: Onward and Upward! Caves, Wells, and Slowpoke?
Rushing out of Falkner's Gym, Dicks got a call on his PokeGear. "Uhh... Hello?" "Oh, Dicks it's good to talk to you again! It's Professor Elm. I want you to take that egg you gave me, and hatch it. It's with my Aid at the Pokecenter. Kbye!" Dicks scratched the back of his head, and looked down at Bobbeh. "Dangit Bobbeh, Stop trying to eat my shoe!" "Tatta!"
Walking into the Pokecenter, Dicks saw a pretty girl in a Kimono, and instantly had a nose-bleed, which scared everyone in there, including the Aid. "Whaaa...whawha...." Dicks tried to talk, but all he could do was studder and drool. "Um, excuse me Dicks, but take this Egg." Elm's Aid pushed the egg into his arms, and ran out of the Center. "Um..... Excuse me Sir..." The Kimono'd lady said, trying to get d**k's attention. "Um, Sir, can I have your attention?" Dicks couldn't do anything but gawk at the girl, and Bobbeh did nothing to snap him out of his owner's illusion. Finally, the girl got irritated, and slapped the young trainer hard across the face, knocking him out of the Pokemon Center. "Whaaaaa!!" Landing on his a**, he got up and wondered what had just happened.

Walking out of the center, the young girl looked over at Dicks, and smiled softly. "I'm sorry sir, but I do believe that egg you have is a special egg, am I correct?" Trying not to stare at her again, he looked away in embarassment, and he shrugged. "Listen lady.. I don't know who you are, or why you hit me, but all I know about this Egg, is that it's a 'special' egg, and that I'm assigned the duty to hatch it. Um.. Who are you exactly?" "My identity is of no concern to you. I bid thee farewell." She poofed in a cloud of pink smoke, and Dicks was even more confused now than he had ever been. "Oh well. LET'S GO GET OUR SECOND BADGE!!" Bobbeh hopped up on d**k's arm, and held on tightly as they raced off towards Bugsy, and the second gym.

After a long day of running around, battling other trainers, and catching a Mareep, which he nicknamed Panchito, Dicks settled down for the night outside of Union Cave. Just as he was about to go to sleep, he heard a rustle in the bushes, and jumped up. ''Whoever is out there, I won't be afraid to taze you, bro." An old man jumped out, and began to shout "Don't taze me bro!" over and over again, before being tazered. Cries and screams of agony rushed through the old man's body, before finally dying down. "DAMNIT I SAID DON'T EFFING TAZE ME!" he shouted, slowly getting up off the road. "Then why did you sneak up on me... UNLESS YOU ARE A *****! STRANGER DANGER, STRANGER DANGER, I NEED AN ADULT!" Dicks cried out, throwing all of his Pokeballs at the man. ''ATTACK HIM, I'M SCAREED!" His Pokemon hit the old man with everything they had, as Dicks began to rock back and forth, crying like a baby. There was an explosion, and in the distance the old man shouted "I JUST WANTED TO SELL YOU A SLOWPOKE TAILLLLLL!" Assuming that the creepy old man was gone, he returned his partners to their Pokeballs, and Dicks finally drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, after doing his morning stretches and having a nice breakfast of coffee and jelly-filled doughnuts, Dicks ventured into Union Cave. After countless hours, and SO MANY EFFING ZUBATS, He managed, somehow, to get out of Union Cave. As soon as he barrel-rolled out, it began to rain. Sheets and sheets of water came rushing down onto the green earth, yet there was no flooding or anything of the sort. Walking into Azalea Town, he saw a strange man in black tights with an R in the center. "Friggen creepo." He shrugged, and made his way to the Pokemon Center. "Hey Nurse Joy, I need my Pokemon healed." "Sure thing, just give me a few seconds, and they will be good as new." After a few minutes, she handed Dicks his Pokeballs, and wished him a good day. Walking over to the local PokeMart, he went up to the counter. "Hey, do you have any PokeBalls in stock?" The cashier looked under the counter, and shook his head. "Sorry kiddo. We are all out. You can talk to Kurt, down by the Pokemon Center. I hear he makes Balls out of Apricorns."

Walking out and over to Kurt's house, he knocked on the door. "Mr. Kurt? I need some PokeBalls made." Opening the door, he looked at Dicks, and shook his head. "Sorry. I'm not making any Balls right now, because that DAMNED TEAM ROCKET IS TAKING SLOWPOKE TAILS, AND SELLING THEM FOR HUEG PROFIT! IMA GO STOP THEM!" Running out the house in a fit of what could be described as "Rage of the Brooklyn variety", Kurt dashed out the house, and over to the Slowpoke Well. Dicks facepalmed, and ran after him, hoping to get some Pokeballs made, so that he can catch more pokemon.

Chapter 8: Slowpoke, Slowpoke, Slowpoke! Are Slowpoke tails tasty?
~Coming soon!~  

[A Nice Salami]

Like, this roast is preserved, yo.

 

[A Nice Salami]

Like, this roast is preserved, yo.

 

[A Nice Salami]

Like, this roast is preserved, yo.

 

[A Nice Salami]

Like, this roast is preserved, yo.

 

[A Nice Salami]

Like, this roast is preserved, yo.

 

[A Nice Salami]

Like, this roast is preserved, yo.

 

[Kirin Tachi]

It's decent. I find the humor to be mildly enjoyable, but the actual writing is sometimes a bit awkward (and I don't just mean around mr. pokemon), so the flow's disrupted at times. That's really the only thing that bothers me about it.  

[A Nice Salami]

Kirin Tachi

It's decent. I find the humor to be mildly enjoyable, but the actual writing is sometimes a bit awkward (and I don't just mean around mr. pokemon), so the flow's disrupted at times. That's really the only thing that bothers me about it.

haha. all the input i get will go towards improving future chapters.
and yea.. mr. pokemon scares me also.  

[A Nice Salami]

bumping back to top of page.  

[A Nice Salami]

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[Kirin Tachi]

The "bit the dust" made me laugh. ++awesome.  

[A Nice Salami]

Kirin Tachi

The "bit the dust" made me laugh. ++awesome.

I've still got a bit of a ways to go before chapter 5 is totally done, but i'm really glad you like it so far.Edit: Chapter 5 is totally done. Hope everyone likes it!  

[Kirin Tachi]

Medabots reference.

Win.