dating and life

[WoodSorrelWitch]

There is a man that I have gotten to know fairly well and vise versa. We have gotten really close and we share many of the same morals and views. It was kind of scary how much we have in common.

There are many things going on in both of our lives that are very stressful and hard to deal with and this is one thing that I, personally, am worried about.

He is not a Christian and he's struggling with faith. From what we've talked about, I get the sense that he wants to believe but something is keeping him from doing so. I think his main concern is that he needs proof that God is there. He is open to talking about it and he knows that God is very important in my life.

I know that the Bible says to not date non-Christians because we would not be equally yoked.
Yet, I find myself still in need of more advice.

There is talk of us renting a house together. Aside from what the Bible says about that, I'd be moving out for the first time and I'm unbelievably terrified about it.

And on top of this, my ex is not taking the idea that I don't want to get back together with him.

And with other things in life going on, I almost had to call the suicide hot line last night.

I'm so lost and confused. I want to do my best to help people. I don't want to be selfish. But somewhere down the line, I stopped caring about myself and started caring about others. People who I talk to tell me that myself comes first, before others. How true is that? I'm at a point in life where putting others first is wrecking havoc on me physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. At what point is it okay to be selfish and just be concerned with your own well being?  

[Testicular Diabeetus]

I wouldn't move in with him due to well you aren't married.
And you might fall into temptation.

Don't date a non-Christian because it could bring you down.
And trying to be the what I call "evangelist dater" 99.9% of the time will not work Most of the time because you are following human emotions other than asking God what you are suppose to do.

However you could pray for him, take him to church, study the Bible together, introduce him to other Christians.

But I definitely would not date until he decided to be a Christan. Remember we aren't to be yolked with non-believers. Not just in marriage, it includes dating too.

If you want a relationship try to work on yours with God. He will show you the right person one day, until then be patent and be thankful for what you have. =) Stop looking for that guy and just let God have control of it.

Now for the depression part...
If you feel alone, just start praying. God is there for those who mourn.
Here are some verses that helped me for when I felt fearful or alone.

2 Cor 5:7
Rom 8:1
Psalm 69 - 70 - 71
2 Timothy 1:7  

[Avioke]

You are in a tough situation, PawzPrint, and I am sorry. I will definitely pray for you.

I have to agree. Do not move in with him, that's a definite no-no. There's a huge chance that you or he will be tempted. Or both. It's an all-around bad situation to put yourself in that could turn out to bring you down even farther. Imagine the guilt you would feel if you did fall into temptation? Just don't put yourself in situations that could jeopardize your faith and your values. Moving in with him is most definitely not the way to bring him to Christ. My uncle is making that mistake. His girlfriend is living with him, and she was already lost and confused and needing God, though she is not a believer. By living with her, my uncle is making it just that much worse.

In this, you need to show your friend your strength and your faith. He knows your morals, but you can't just tell him. You need to show him. Words hardly ever bring others to God, but when you act a certain way, proud of the Spirit in you and always holding up what you believe, people will notice, and they will follow. If you say one thing and do another, your friend will not respect you, and I doubt he will ever come to God.

Talk to him more. As said, introduce him to fellow Christians, offer to bring him to church, and only stop inviting [not badger--don't bug him about it] if he asks you to. Always be honest with him. Discuss what you believe, and let him know that he can ask you questions at any time. People are curious about what we believe, actually. Make sure he knows that you are more than happy to answer questions to the best of your abilities. If you don't know, encourage him to look it up in the Bible with you.

Your last paragraph reminded me of something we've just been discussing in school. In class, we read a book called 'Anthem' by Ayn Rand. I won't get into details, but in a nutshell, all humans are living for each other. There is no individual, there is no self at all. You serve your brothers. In the book, no one can think thoughts that none of his brothers think. The narration is 'we'. It is about one person, but he says 'we were born twenty-one years ago' instead of 'I was born twenty-one years ago'. The beginning is the stage where he lives for everyone but himself.

At the end, though, he has learned about individuality, and has run away from the society of the 'We'. He is selfish and thinks only about himself. He says something along the lines of "I will not give my treasures to other men, nor will I share them." The worst part is, the author speaks about it like this is the ideal mindset.

Where is the line drawn? What mindset must we have? We need to find balance. I personally believe that we should lean a bit toward the 'caring for others end', as that is what God has said many times in the Bible. God comes first, others comes second, self comes third. You are last on the list, but you're still on the list. God gave us this body, and we must take care of it. If you feel depressed or ill because you take no time to take care of yourself, that's when you know you've gone too far toward the 'caring for others' side. You must care for others, but how can you care for others if you don't take care of yourself?

You've worked hard for others. Now relax and give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it, and you need it. Praying for you! :3