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I'll start this out nice and simple. I have a disease called Anemia. It's quite common, really. It's when your blood does not have enough Hemoglobin. In my case, my Anemia is caused by low Iron, which means I don't have enough of the element Iron in my blood.
I just found this out less than a month ago. I went to the doctor finally after a year of feeling sick often and getting dizzy easily. We had no idea what it was, or if it was bad. In the few months before I went to the doctor, I had felt sick every night, most of the time like I would puke. I couldn't sleep because of it, which made me tired, which brought down my performance level in school, which made me irritable. It was a bad time for me, really, though not terrible. I will not pretend like I suffered horribly.
After I found out, it's gotten harder. After a few weeks, I finally bothered to look up the symptoms of Anemia. The list is as follows:
-Extreme fatigue
-Pale skin
-Weakness
-Shortness of breath
-Headache
-Dizziness or lightheadedness
-Cold hands and feet
-Irritability
-Inflammation or soreness of your tongue
-Increased likelihood of infections
-Brittle nails
-Irregular heartbeat (arrhythmia)
-Unusual cravings for non-nutritive substances, such as ice, dirt or pure starch
-Poor appetite, especially in infants and children with iron deficiency anemia
-Restless legs syndrome — an uncomfortable tingling or crawling feeling in your legs
I have nearly all of these symptoms, and there are more than this. I eat ice all the time, even as I type my legs are tingling and feel cold. My heartbeat was very fast last night after no exercise or movement at all, I've been able to eat less and less over the past few weeks, I'm irritable, light-headed, dizzy, I get headaches and stomach aches and sometimes I can't breathe. I am tired all the time, I'm weak. I can't walk up a set of stairs without feeling tired. My hands and feet are even always colder than the rest of my body. People with Anemia also have difficulty regulating their body temperature. I have this--I'm always either cold when no one else is, or hot when no one else is. Another symptom is you shake, and my hands are shaking even now. I apologize for complaining, everyone, but Anemia is hell.
I recently saw a chart on a website about Anemia that basically showed the amount of symptoms that should be seen from Mild to Moderate to Severe. The doctor said, a month ago, that I had Moderate Anemia. But this chart says that people with Mild Anemia should experience no symptoms most of the time, people with Moderate Anemia should experience some symptoms, and people with Severe Anemia should have quite a few symptoms. I have them all, save two. I fear that I'm a Severe case, that it's changed. It's not likely, since I'm taking Iron pills, but I am afraid. Afraid because next to Severe it say, "May be life threatening and requires prompt management."
This frightens me. I don't know why, I can't really explain it. I thought I was excited for death. I always say 'God, you could kill me now and I wouldn't care." But perhaps, deep inside, I'm not ready to die. It's so odd. I really would prefer it if Jesus came back now and started this whole party where we all bow before him and we get to head on up to Heaven. But at the same time, I want more time to save people. My friend is lost, and I want to help her.
This post topic is everywhere. My apologies, my brain is scattered.
Now, this was mostly just to get it out of my system. I am not looking for Spiritual advice. I honestly don't need it. At all. God blessed me with a mind that never doubts him. I have absolutely no doubts in God, and this is something I am completely grateful for. He gave it to me so that even when I have hard times, I can still reach out to people. He gave it to me so that, paired with my stubborn attitude, I won't back down and I will expose the truth for people. So I would rather you didn't say anything related to that, such as 'God has a reason for the disease.' I know, I really do, and thank you, truly.
If you suffer from Anemia, how do you deal with it? I am new to this, and I don't know entirely what can make me feel better. I've stayed awake at night crying and begging God to heal me. Now, you don't really have the greatest state of mind, so I was also asking him what I did wrong to deserve this. Of course, God didn't give me Anemia to punish me, I knew that, I just wanted to say it.
All right, I'm done talking now. I'm just... everywhere. It's much too late. The point is, Anemia is stressful and hard and it just sucks. I've read most of what there is to know about Anemia, but if you've got information that isn't commonly known, then I would love it. Bless you, and thank you for reading through my rant/complaints all the way. I'm having a bit of a meltdown.
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