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 Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 7:12 pm
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Posted: Mon May 14, 2012 8:22 pm
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Posted: Mon May 14, 2012 8:45 pm
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fourth year - hufflepuff▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬allen w. rhoddes▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬muggle born - wizard raised- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - “To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time.”
– Leonard Bernstein
“Now, somehow, in some new way, the sky seemed almost alien.”
– Lyndon B. Johnson
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ￤￤The hours had somehow fleeted past him even with the constant pounding of seconds passing like years themselves. His body felt sore in a way he could not remember ever experiencing; nothing like the satisfying groan of his body after a hike or trek or some form of physical exertion; not the stabbing pain of broken bones of pestering injuries or some for of illness. It seemed to be much deeper in him, the beat of a drum with the canvas lose and worn. Barely a thud but the vibrations still hitting against the bones of whatever core he had inside him.
His rear and back, did however, grind him with a more familiar physical strain. It seemed he had chosen the most uncomfortable of seats in the entirety of the Hufflepuff Common Room. Sitting and slipping deeper into it just like with his thoughts as he sat for perhaps three hours staring. Eyes set too firmly on the entrance portal of the room - the awkward and alarmed glances of those unsuspecting characters entering to find him practically plastering his emotions onto them. A shining desperation the ground through his lower lip three times over across the span of time. The second he had finished being attended to in the Hospital Wing by Eveline Caesar he had rushed down the kitchen corridor. Scanning the cushioned room and every one of its corners for Jane. Begging one of his female Housemates to glance into the Dormitory for the fourth year and even checking the boy's dormitory in a short burst of hope. At which point, knowing she was not anywhere within the room yet, he had awaited her. Yet only the strike of the eleventh hour had finally roused him from his seat. Mind finally bursting with nothing but the decision to find her.
Strangely, he had not even wandered the castle in search of her for more time than it took to cross the couple floors of the school to find himself outside. The distance had been crossed unconsciously and once he was outside he realized the reason for it; nature had always been a state in which he relaxed. Calmed and sought out whenever anger or crippling depression reared their ugly heads. Memories of his most recent summer touched his tongue and spread their bitter taste.
Allen physically shook the memories and thoughts away, balancing on the decision to search the Grounds while he was already outside.
And so he finally found her; sitting quietly on the ground, posture curled into herself and almost visibly shaking. A ripple running through her form that could be seen from Allen's distance and it sent a shiver through him in turn. He swallowed thickly, face suddenly stinging with the motion of his facial muscles. Small bandages holding his skin together; butterfly ties and plasters covering most of his left side. The sutures glowing eerily in the moonlight reflecting off the white tomb in which he found himself behind Jane.
His hands curled into his palms, picking at the hardened skin their as him mind picked at finding what to do. How to react how to approach the situation and the sitting girl.
He cleared his throat then before he could think too long and end up leaving - a decision he could not fall upon. Not again.
The initial sound had not seemed to rouse Jane from her thoughts (or perhaps had been lost to the chill of the fall breeze) so he attempted again. It was louder, but without strength. Cracking at the end and sending a flush to his cheeks. However the attention was caught and when he saw the sad eyes of Jane Doyle his breath died on his tongue alongside his words.
He coughed lightly, attempting to keep himself from shifting from foot to foot too awkwardly. "Um, Jane, I...well I was worri- I mean," he cleared his throat again along with a breath, "Is that seat free?" he finally managed out pointing just to her left. Not daring to take a step until she allowed it. ￤￤     |
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 4:47 pm
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 5:47 pm
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fourth year - hufflepuff▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬allen w. rhoddes▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬muggle born - wizard raised- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - “To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time.”
– Leonard Bernstein
“Now, somehow, in some new way, the sky seemed almost alien.”
– Lyndon B. Johnson
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ￤￤He was grateful for the silence acceptance and took his seat quickly. Feeling the press of the newly-refreshing grass where it made contact with his stiff body, mind rattling and wishing he had had some form of silent acknowledgement for his first words. He felt like a complete idiot listening to the memory of his own words.
His fingertips found their way to the ground as well, noting the moisture of the earth and where the hairs of grass and other forms of weed sprouted relentlessly in the soon-to-be green carpet that blanketed the entire Grounds of Hogwarts. The heel of his palm completely oblivious to the sensation of contact and the texture the ridges of his skin would have interacted with if not for the thick barrier of the black gloves. A wall against two layers of reality just as it was a wall in his sanity.
Neither spoke as nature continued to spin around them; faces and gazes made to look as though staring straight before themselves. Allen trying desperately to not glance at Jane out of the corner of his eye as often as he was. Visually noting the swollen eyes and quivering thoughts layering her eyes with a bitter familiarity. Shallow memories of times he had seen her in this state; by the dark hand of nightmares, school work and stress and so many disappointments overwhelming her world. Each time he thought he had managed to find a way to comfort her, maybe ease, but that thought seemed to be nowhere near the truth. If he had managed to convey her any aid, any sort of relaxation to she demons he could see her sometimes fighting off, she wouldn't be like this again. He bit his lips, drawing blood again. Preferring the last of his own iron over the chocking guilt.
"I am sorry," he heard a mumbling voice rough with emotions too raw to name, "Maybe one day I will stop hurting you all the time."
Allen nearly chocked on his own throat which suddenly seemed to be a collapsed obstruction in his body rather than a supportive element of it as he labelled the voice. His own voice; spoken so unconsciously ever layer of protection and secrecy and desperate hiding had been stripped from it as it escaped him while he had been lost in his thoughts. His voice, his real voice that always bounced in his skull writhing to be set free. A voice without the armour he always forced on it of acting and lies of comfort. He thought he had drowned it. ￤￤ |
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 5:23 pm
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Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 8:25 pm
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fourth year - hufflepuff▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬allen w. rhoddes▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬muggle born - wizard raised- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - “To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time.”
– Leonard Bernstein
“Now, somehow, in some new way, the sky seemed almost alien.”
– Lyndon B. Johnson
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ￤￤ Allen dared a cautious glance towards Jane's darkened face. Shadow playing on features he desperately wanted to see happiness in. Lips firmly frowned where he knew there should be a sunny smile. Delights replaced by the monochromatic light and darkness running so much deeper he could not help but place himself to blame for it. Confusion darkened his already black eyes and knitted his brow so quickly he wondered if a crash had sounded. "What do yo- of course it is, Jane. You don't have to lie to me." he tried, in cracking voice. Hating the weight of emotion he could hear in ever chord of his words. "I can handle the truth, I have been the cause of worse..." he swallowed then, silently pleading for her to meet his gaze.
"Well not worse," he whispered, "Nothing is worse than hurting you."
"And I know I caused it, why else would you have reacted like that?" he bit his lip, a weak victory lighting his face dimly thinking he won the argument. Despairing at the fact that he could see no other explanation - it was always him. Always. And this had to be him again. ￤￤ |
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Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 5:46 pm
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Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 9:59 pm
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fourth year - hufflepuff▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬allen w. rhoddes▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬muggle born - wizard raised- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - “To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time.”
– Leonard Bernstein
“Now, somehow, in some new way, the sky seemed almost alien.”
– Lyndon B. Johnson
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ￤￤ Allen stood up roughly at her words and her motions to escape. "No." he stated; demanded.
"No, don't give me that Jane. You think this is hard for you? It is hard for both of us! I am not going to just sit around and wait for when you 'can' do this. When you 'can' talk about it! No, I won't!"
"Talk to me, even if you end up yelling or hitting me or breaking down, talk to me! What have I done? What have you done and what is this?" he suddenly motioned between them, dropping his arms in exasperation then. "What is happening between us? Friendship or...or more, you have to communicate! You have to talk to me and I will talk to you."
"I care about you Jane...I really care for you." he almost whispered. ￤￤ |
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Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 9:59 pm
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Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 10:14 pm
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fourth year - hufflepuff▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬allen w. rhoddes▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬muggle born - wizard raised- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - “To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time.”
– Leonard Bernstein
“Now, somehow, in some new way, the sky seemed almost alien.”
– Lyndon B. Johnson
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ￤￤ A weak smile fixed itself on his face as he attempted to hide the creeping intimidation he suddenly felt at her proximity. He had never seen her furious; yelling, yes, angry, yes, furious? No. This was no longer a drowned out emotion, this was fire. He swallowed against the sudden intrigue and fascination he felt to try and concentrate on the answer he had demanded of her. It left him gasping. The moment those three words passed her lips - and then a second time and a third and she eased them into existence - he forgot the lump in his throat and simply attempted not to scream in some numbed instinct. He stared at her wide-eyed and slack-jawed for a second before she ushered her exit. His hand was gripping her wrist desperately before he even felt his muscles tighten to begin the motion. "No!" he breathed in shock, exasperated that his not wanted her to leave was not the most obvious thing to her as it was to him. "Of course not. Not now! Not after-" he flailed aimlessly with his free hand, licking his lips in quick nervousness and trying to keep his speedily scanning eyes under some measure of control as they seem bent on seeing every detail of her face for an answer to his confusion and the warmth swelling in him. Instead it all crashed - his free hand finding her face from the air it was ripping, he crashed his face against hers as he brought it close. Lips pressed deeply into hers and the sensation did not register momentarily at the extreme passion and haste of the kiss.
He searched her mouth, pulled her close and deemed desperately he would never let her go. He broke it for just a second to give each of them a half-lunged gasp of air before kissing her deeply again. Exploring her meaning and fury and finding that fire so hot he wanted to be seared to her sooner than he wanted to pull away once more. ￤￤ |
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Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 6:55 pm
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Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 7:03 pm
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Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 9:27 pm
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Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 1:43 pm
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