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 Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 11:54 pm
I finally got around to not being lazy and created a storybook character! Now this is the first time I've ever written anything in my life, so I'm not that good. Just tell me what you like, what you don't like, and how awesome I am! Okay, now check it out!
The name of the character is Leia Xes Adrasa, in her language it means "Dark Judgement". Her name is so unique due to the fact she is born of a race called Aureons. To any other human, they'd call them aliens, despite them being extremely human in apperance. The only thing seperating a human from an Aureon is the eyes, all Aureons have cat like slits in their eyes and vivid hair colors. Leia was born in to a family line that is desended directly from the first Aureon to exist, making Leia a princess.
She was protected every second of her life and one day grew tired of being pampered. Sneaking out of her room one night, she tried entering the main chamber, only to find it already open a little bit. She peaked through and listened in on a conversation, it involved her. When she listened closely, she found out the origins of her name, she was the host of a creature name Judgement, whose evil would devour the world, and then her. Leia was shocked by this and ran from her homeland as far as possible.
Leia, being a princess, could easily be followed so she had to change herself. Cutting her hair and adopting a darker set of clothes than a dress, Leia continued to escape. When her home was in the distance, she changed her name to Chase Aure. Aure is a last name given to those who do not have one. She also changed her outlook on life, becoming more like a rebel each day she wasn't being pampered. She was generally a cheerful person until she found out she may die. Now she just wanders along, not caring for anything but finding out why she was chosen to die and nobody else.
That's it...sorry, but it's all I've got so far, I'm still creating a language for Aureons...Chase needs a lot of shine though...
And if you were wondering, my avi is Chase.
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Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 4:03 am
Oooh, a princess absconding the royal place... that's always a fun device!
How far would she be able to go on her own? Are there others that help her? And does anyone from the castle come close to finding her? Does Judgment take on any sort of form?
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Eloquent Conversationalist
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Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 5:30 am
I will answer those questions in the orders asked, including which characters find her first.
Chase/Leia won't be able to go far alone, even though she generally stronger than a human, the world is a wasteland whenever you enter a wilderness, full of wild creatures ready to rip apart the main protagonist. That is why the first place she ends up is a city, originally she was going for supplies.
As for who is helping her, these are the characters and what they do.
Hunter: A human soldier, first.
Kiba: A member of the cerberus force, close second.
Ana: Human only, third with Nate.
Nate: Human only, third with Ana.
Nonam: Vedithl/Old God, Fourth, originally an enemy for her.
Those are who I know will help Chase, I may make more.
Yes, a professional tracker named Erik will seek her out, but he is being contracted by a much darker force to end Chase's life. He appears several times and nearly kills her the first time, opening up a way for Hunter and Kiba to enter the story.
Judgement will take the form of it's host. They will grow black wings and their eyes will turn an icey white. Even though Judgement is a monster, it's been around since the first Aureon and has taken several forms, nobody has been able to destroy Judgement thus far. The reason for this is because of Judgement's genious, every time it gained a host, it had all of their knowledge, it once possessed a Vedithl and gained an amazing amount of knowledge. It's goals are unknown though.
I hope that answered your questions and made you want to ask more.
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Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 10:15 pm
Basically, my only thought is this: So her name is Princess Leia. Go watch Star Wars. Reconsider this name. You'll never break the stereotype, I promise you. If I ever read a story (not Star Wars) with someone named Princess Leia, the mocking would never, ever end. I realize her main name is Chase, but that doesn't change anything. She's still Princess Leia, and I'd never pay attention to the story because I'd be too busy seeing how she compares.
I'm not to hip on the "rebellious princess" storyline, so I can't really help you there. The concept irks me. If you can make it work, good for you. Good luck!
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Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 11:45 pm
Pronounced Leh-I-awh, but people tend to read things wrong...maybe I'll fix this.
Rebel, sorta. She's just trying to run away from being dead.
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Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 12:05 am
I think I'm sleepy 3nodding .
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Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 12:09 am
............... stare *Eats Kage again*
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Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 12:15 am
Then you might want to change the spelling, because it's exactly the same as Star Wars' Leia. I'd say people aren't reading it wrong, you're writing it wrong. It's like saying the name Sara is pronounced Say-ra. This is something you'll want to take into account for characters in the future, too. It's something I've had to occasionally revise in my own writing, so you're definitely not alone.
Sixteen year old princess who refuses to marry. Grows grows tired of being pampered. Does something she's not supposed to. Gets in trouble. If that's not your typical rebellious princess syndrome, I don't know what is.
And while I'm here, I had one more thought. Does she have very good survival skills? She's been pampered all her life, like you said, so it's reasonable to think that she won't be very good at taking care of herself. It might make a fun and humorous dynamic, making her learn all of those pesky little details she never had to worry about in her life of luxury.
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Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 12:22 am
*Facepalm* Good idea, I will figure out how to respell this!
Who said she refused to marry? She doesn't want to die because of Judgement consuming her and her home. And I facepalm again for not getting what I wanted, I started out for the normal princess thing and tried to transition to the sterotypical solo soldier girl thing.
Nope, she's got no skills whatsoever to start off with. Well, she can hide pretty well, Aureons got small frames 3nodding
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Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 12:59 am
You said she refused to marry. It's in your first post.
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Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 1:08 am
What the--that came from a book I read recently! Allow me to edit it. *Double facepalm*
Sorry for the mistake there, I was typing pretty fast.
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Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 9:23 am
Hmm.... If Chase was host to some demon (I'll refer to the Judgement as a demon) that would eventually destroy the world, why didn't they kill her off when she was young? I could think of a lot of reasons for that, but you might want to clarify or else people will notice that fact and will be like, "Umm.... Are these people idiots?".
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Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 9:58 am
They believe if Judgement is allowed to be reborn in Chase, they're world will be free of all things such as those creatures in the wilderness, cerberus corp. and those things. Thus the name 'Judgement', they think it will judge everything and leave them alone, they are stupid 3nodding
They allowed Chase to be Judgement's host in the first place, that's how she discovered it. Some people do vote to kill Chase, thus her protection until she leaves.
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Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 10:04 am
So, she leaves not because she's afraid that the people around her will kill her? Also, if she's surrounded by people who believe Judgement will save them, why is she afraid of Judgement consuming her home? From the sounds of it, it looks like a very large majority believe that Judgement would save them. For what reason would she believe the tiny minority that believe Judgement will destroy them?
From what I'm seeing so far, the only reason for Chase to run away from home is because she very annoyed/angry/whatever for being a sacrifice without her knowledge and so has lost all trust in the people that had pampered her.
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Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 10:51 am
Think about it this way, Judgement is sealed inside her, would you tell her about it at all? The only things she knows of Judgement are things she's read from old books and rumors. Her closest friend is in the minority of people. So since she didn't know about Judgement at all, she had to make a choice in what to believe in, she chose the one that seemed most likely with the name "Judgement".
Other than that you did pretty good for a rezesi 3nodding
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