PLEASE HELP ME! >.< I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!

[kitty of the dark]

Ok my boyfriend and i have been closer than our past relationships....we have been talking about the future but im afraid to talk to my parenst about it because....i know we are young...but they dont understand the genuine connection between us. Even though we are 16 and 17 we still have a very strong bond and no one can see. all they see is a couple of love sick stupid teenagers and i dont know who to talk to. can any of you give me some advice on what to do about this situation?  

[lifelessdoll_13]

you never know till you try, i thought my mom would freak out when i told her that me and my boyfriend planned on getting married, we were 19 and 18 years old, and had been dateing for a few months, and we had planned it. my mom didn't flip out or anything, like i thought she would, she supports us, and wants to be sure we know what we are doing. my dad flipped out but he is also behinde us, as long as we don't do anything stupid. so i think you should tell your parents cause like i said you never know what is going to happen.  

[Gregar828]

I don't see the harm in telling your mom your feelings for him. But if you're planning on getting married right out of High School or something, just stop right there. Try waiting until an acceptable age, like 25, before even thinking about marriage. Because I hate to break it to you, but right now, you ARE a lovesick teenager. If you and your boyfriend are REALLY in love, you can wait a few years. Otherwise, its just Infatuation or lust.  

[kitty of the dark]

We plan to wait...not marry right out of highschool cuz that would be kinda dumb to us...haha but yeah we had a problem where we were saying unaceptable things on the phone and my mom caught us so now she doesnt trust us...thats the major point i forgot to add. >///<  

[R0bot0]

I've been through that phase where you're so lovesick you're actually thinking about marriage, and honestly it might and also might not work out. If it doesn't, it will end horribly. If it does, it will end magnificently.

It's actually good that your parents don't trust you. Unacceptable things increase the factor of lust, and therefore cause unwanted things to happen, which might later end badly. For now you have to deal with the factor of age, and stay as a healthy young couple. Try not to say things like getting married, or even avoid the topic. It might lead to bad consequences if you do any rash action. Also avoid sexual "non-joke" topics. If they are just joking then it might be acceptable. If they aren't it will only lead to bad things.

God doesn't want us to fall into bad things, and lust makes you fall into bad things, which is why it is considered a deadly sin. Try to control that by other means, and confront your couple with that situation. If he loves you, he'll understand.  

[lifelessdoll_13]

oh wow, that wasn't smart lol.  

[Shadows-shine]

Gregar828

I don't see the harm in telling your mom your feelings for him. But if you're planning on getting married right out of High School or something, just stop right there. Try waiting until an acceptable age, like 25, before even thinking about marriage. Because I hate to break it to you, but right now, you ARE a lovesick teenager. If you and your boyfriend are REALLY in love, you can wait a few years. Otherwise, its just Infatuation or lust.

Agreed for the most part...But, what's so wrong with getting married right out of high school? Why does 25 have to a designated age to get married? I was married within a year of graduating high school and still am married to the same guy.  

[Gregar828]

Shadows-shine

Gregar828

I don't see the harm in telling your mom your feelings for him. But if you're planning on getting married right out of High School or something, just stop right there. Try waiting until an acceptable age, like 25, before even thinking about marriage. Because I hate to break it to you, but right now, you ARE a lovesick teenager. If you and your boyfriend are REALLY in love, you can wait a few years. Otherwise, its just Infatuation or lust.

Agreed for the most part...But, what's so wrong with getting married right out of high school? Why does 25 have to a designated age to get married? I was married within a year of graduating high school and still am married to the same guy.

You may be an exception, but honestly, tell me: Do the majority of marriages right out of high school last? No, no they don't. I simply used 25 as an example, because people GENERALLY get married in their mid twenties (Notice the word generally, implying that I realize that not ALL marriages take place during that time, simply the leasing majority.)  

[Vegeta_Lover239]

Shadows-shine

Gregar828

I don't see the harm in telling your mom your feelings for him. But if you're planning on getting married right out of High School or something, just stop right there. Try waiting until an acceptable age, like 25, before even thinking about marriage. Because I hate to break it to you, but right now, you ARE a lovesick teenager. If you and your boyfriend are REALLY in love, you can wait a few years. Otherwise, its just Infatuation or lust.

Agreed for the most part...But, what's so wrong with getting married right out of high school? Why does 25 have to a designated age to get married? I was married within a year of graduating high school and still am married to the same guy.

~~

I'm not Gregar, but I'll answer because I have veiws too XD

See, the problems with getting into a huge commitment like marriage when you're just out of high school....

1) Most Newly-Graduates aren't able to financially support themselves, let alone Most people think, 'Oh, now we're married! We can move into our own home!' but no, usually it doesn't work out. That probably was NOT the case with you. Or if it was, I hope you were financially prepared and stuffz ;3

2) Highschool is the time when relationships seem to come and go most. I think people should have been in a relationship at LEAST two years before considerign marriage(although that's my opinion), or around that, so you have enough time to get to know the person, and to do your best to make sure they're 'the one' or whatever you wanna call it.



As I said, these are just my opinions. For each their own, I guess. whee Plus, it worked out for you. ^^
Personally, I don't want to get married until I'm 24 or older or something and know I have some sort of munayz(misspelled on purpose, btw). And, if I can do my best to help it, I don't want to have a(ny) baby(ies) until I'm 25 or 26 or something....

~~

 

[lifelessdoll_13]

honestly most marriages don't work out no matter the age, in this society people are getting divorced left and right, mostly due to finances because no one knows how to save their money and use it wisely. and there is a lack of understanding, and commitment, so that also ends a relationship of any magnitude, no one really has a plan for after a wedding, most just think of the here and now. there are alot of reasons behind when you should get married, but its not something that you should put a deffinent date to, because everyone is different. and you really have to have the will power to work your way from the bottom,  

[Shadows-shine]

Gregar828

Shadows-shine

Gregar828

I don't see the harm in telling your mom your feelings for him. But if you're planning on getting married right out of High School or something, just stop right there. Try waiting until an acceptable age, like 25, before even thinking about marriage. Because I hate to break it to you, but right now, you ARE a lovesick teenager. If you and your boyfriend are REALLY in love, you can wait a few years. Otherwise, its just Infatuation or lust.

Agreed for the most part...But, what's so wrong with getting married right out of high school? Why does 25 have to a designated age to get married? I was married within a year of graduating high school and still am married to the same guy.

You may be an exception, but honestly, tell me: Do the majority of marriages right out of high school last? No, no they don't. I simply used 25 as an example, because people GENERALLY get married in their mid twenties (Notice the word generally, implying that I realize that not ALL marriages take place during that time, simply the leasing majority.)

True, generally people do get married in their mid twenties. And I honestly can't say how well marriages work at any age. All I know is that my marriage is far from perfect and it's a lot of work, but I wouldn't give it up for any thing, because it is one of the biggest blessings in my life. I was just simply wanting you to elaborate on your point more.  

[Shadows-shine]

Vegeta_Lover239

Shadows-shine

Gregar828

I don't see the harm in telling your mom your feelings for him. But if you're planning on getting married right out of High School or something, just stop right there. Try waiting until an acceptable age, like 25, before even thinking about marriage. Because I hate to break it to you, but right now, you ARE a lovesick teenager. If you and your boyfriend are REALLY in love, you can wait a few years. Otherwise, its just Infatuation or lust.

Agreed for the most part...But, what's so wrong with getting married right out of high school? Why does 25 have to a designated age to get married? I was married within a year of graduating high school and still am married to the same guy.

~~

I'm not Gregar, but I'll answer because I have veiws too XD

See, the problems with getting into a huge commitment like marriage when you're just out of high school....

1) Most Newly-Graduates aren't able to financially support themselves, let alone Most people think, 'Oh, now we're married! We can move into our own home!' but no, usually it doesn't work out. That probably was NOT the case with you. Or if it was, I hope you were financially prepared and stuffz ;3

True. Most aren't. My husband and I had jobs. Financially it was tight. We had to sacrifice a lot. We don't own our own place yet, but we have been renting. So technically we are living in our own place with our daughter and a baby on the way. Can I say we were finacailly prepared when we got married? No, but the struggles and the challenges we have gone through together have brought us closer to one another and strengthened our marriage. It's not bliss, by any means, but it's still blessed.

Quote:

2) Highschool is the time when relationships seem to come and go most. I think people should have been in a relationship at LEAST two years before considerign marriage(although that's my opinion), or around that, so you have enough time to get to know the person, and to do your best to make sure they're 'the one' or whatever you wanna call it.

I dated my husband a year before he proposed. We didn't know each other very well, but we have gotten to know each other and continue to do so. I've learned that you never stop getting to know your spouse. As for the best time for some one to propose, to each their own. I read from an expert that said that after 6 months of dating you should know if you want to marry that person or not. Does that mean you have to get married then,no, but you should know.

Quote:

As I said, these are just my opinions. For each their own, I guess. whee Plus, it worked out for you. ^^
Personally, I don't want to get married until I'm 24 or older or something and know I have some sort of munayz(misspelled on purpose, btw). And, if I can do my best to help it, I don't want to have a(ny) baby(ies) until I'm 25 or 26 or something....

~~

Correct. It is too each their own. I had a baby when I was 19. It was sooner than I wanted, but oh well, my daughter is a huge blessing to me and my husband.  

[Shadows-shine]

lifelessdoll_13

honestly most marriages don't work out no matter the age, in this society people are getting divorced left and right, mostly due to finances because no one knows how to save their money and use it wisely. and there is a lack of understanding, and commitment, so that also ends a relationship of any magnitude, no one really has a plan for after a wedding, most just think of the here and now. there are alot of reasons behind when you should get married, but its not something that you should put a deffinent date to, because everyone is different. and you really have to have the will power to work your way from the bottom,

True. I've also noticed that marriages fail mainly because the couple becomes selfish. They never learn to put one another before themselves. When you get married, it's no longer about you, it's about you and your spouse! Plus, another reason marriages fail is because they don't make Christ the center focus of their relationship.  

[lifelessdoll_13]

Shadows-shine

lifelessdoll_13

honestly most marriages don't work out no matter the age, in this society people are getting divorced left and right, mostly due to finances because no one knows how to save their money and use it wisely. and there is a lack of understanding, and commitment, so that also ends a relationship of any magnitude, no one really has a plan for after a wedding, most just think of the here and now. there are alot of reasons behind when you should get married, but its not something that you should put a deffinent date to, because everyone is different. and you really have to have the will power to work your way from the bottom,

True. I've also noticed that marriages fail mainly because the couple becomes selfish. They never learn to put one another before themselves. When you get married, it's no longer about you, it's about you and your spouse! Plus, another reason marriages fail is because they don't make Christ the center focus of their relationship.

indeed ^^  

[kitty of the dark]

ok thank you! i love all of your guys' advice.