|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2017 10:09 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:28 am
 |
|
|
|
( Halfblood ￭ Salem Alumnus ￭ Hogwarts School Nurse ) ↫xx
Wαιтιɴɢ ғor тнe eɴd тo coмe
Wιѕнιɴɢ I нαd ѕтreɴɢтн тo ѕтαɴd
Tнιѕ ιѕ ɴoт wнαт I нαd plαɴɴed, ιт'ѕ oυт oғ мy coɴтrol
Flyιɴɢ αт тнe ѕpeed oғ lιɢнт
Tнoυɢнтѕ were ѕpιɴɴιɴɢ ιɴ мy нeαd
So мαɴy тнιɴɢѕ were leғт υɴѕαιd, ιт'ѕ нαrd тo leт yoυ ɢo
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ❖ ✚ ♫ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Mirzam was sitting behind his own desk studying his spellbook, he didn't feel like going home if it's going to end up with that Nosy Crow being meddlesome on what he was doing. And it would have been easier if Kenji was on tour but no, he was on break so it was making things harder for Mirzam. When will Kenji learn that he could actually handle himself? He wasn't a dainty flower and he refused to be treated with pity. That was why he insisted the press to keep his name anonymous about his horrid summer. Because yeah, people knowing about how he was endlessly tortured by Rui Owens herself was a good way for people who know who he was.
And besides, even if he went home, his sleep was still going to be horrible. Mirzam's sleep schedule had been ******** over because every time he slept he always ended up waking up in cold sweat or maybe tears, and sometimes it scared the hell out of Kenji. He felt like an utter burden for his roommate, especially when it's becoming frequent that he and Kenji were arguing that. He was... he was just as ******** up as his sister, that's for sure. It's genetic. Mirzam couldn't even look himself in the mirror without being tempted to shatter the glass, after all, he'd done it before at the flat. It's just... it's like he no longer felt safe anywhere, not even Hogwarts. As long as he could see the gold eyes he possessed behind his glasses, it was a reminder that maybe... just maybe, Rui was probably still alive.
Gritting his teeth and tightening the grip of his Healing Spellbook, Mirzam just threw the book to the table and put his hands on his face. He was doing exactly this so that he won't have time to sulk and not be stuck in his own headspace, and it was still coming up. And people would wonder why he wanted for the end to come for him because there's no chance for him to have peace in his life. They were just so selfish that people like Sara, Kenji, and his auror shithead Matteo want to keep him around walking, especially when they knew what he had been through.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Sιттιɴɢ ιɴ αɴ eмpтy rooм, тryιɴɢ тo ғorɢeт тнe pαѕт
Tнιѕ wαѕ ɴever мeαɴт тo lαѕт, I wιѕн ιт wαѕɴ'т ѕo
I ĸɴow wнαт ιт тαĸeѕ тo мove oɴ, I ĸɴow нow ιт ғeelѕ тo lιe
All I wαɴт тo do ιѕ тrαde тнιѕ lιғe ғor ѕoмeтнιɴɢ ɴew
Holdιɴɢ oɴ тo wнαт I нαveɴ'т ɢoт
xxxoυт oғ cнαrαcтerxxx((ooc))▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
wнeɴ - Fall 2040 ↫xx
wнere - Sitting behind his desk ↫xxxx
wιтн - Himself (soon to be Rick) ↫xxxxxx
|
 |
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 10:43 pm
|
|
|
 |
I had a dream the other night
About how we only get one life
Woke me up right after two
Stayed awake and stared at you
So I wouldn't lose my mind
 ════════════════════════
Rᴀᴠᴇɴᴄʟᴀᴡ Aʟᴜᴍɴɪ || Tʀᴀɴsғɪɢᴜʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ Pʀᴏғᴇssᴏʀ || Pᴏᴛɪᴏɴᴇᴇʀ
════════════════════════
Rick was slightly nervous about talking to Mirzam. One, he'd heard from Kenji about the issues he was having, and Rick understood all too well what trauma could do to a person. Like cutting open their arm on a regular basis and throwing themselves into work just to get exhausted enough not to dream of corpses staring at you as your world collapsed around you. Rick had come a long way from when he was thirteen, and while he still regretted leading Megan to the Blackstone family, he didn't blame himself for it. She was insane, and Rick, while he never wanted to have children of his own as a result, wasn't going to blame himself for anything she might have done. As a result, he had agreed to try and help Kenji with Mirzam, because he didn't want to see someone else go through the same problems he had gone through, and probably would still go through. He was just glad that he had a good support group. Mirzam... didn't exactly have the same thing.
Knocking on the door to Mirzam's office, he poked his head in and spotted Mirzam with his face in his hands. Oh, that looked bad, and Rick could already tell that today was probably a bad day. Steeling himself (after all, he'd dealt with Dante at his worst), he cleared his throat to announce himself. "Hey Mirzam. Um, I was wondering if you wanted to talk. Or well, hear me while I talk. I've been having a hard time sleeping lately and figured if I talk it out with someone, it'd help." Hopefully Rick mentioning his own trauma would help Mirzam open up about his own and maybe then Rick could mention seeing a mind healer. However, he also knew how much it sucked when you didn't want someone poking around in your head since the last time he did that in school, he'd had to relive his summer with a smile on his face and happily explain how he got his scar on his forearm. That was something he never wanted to relive as long as he lived.
════════════════════════Location: Mirzam's Office
Thinking: I hope Mirzam's willing to talk...
OOC: -❤-    
And I had the week that came from hell
And yes I know that you could tell
But you're like the net under the ledge
When I go flying off the edge
You go flying off as well
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 4:12 am
|
|
|
|
( Halfblood ￭ Salem Alumnus ￭ Hogwarts School Nurse ) ↫xx
Wαιтιɴɢ ғor тнe eɴd тo coмe
Wιѕнιɴɢ I нαd ѕтreɴɢтн тo ѕтαɴd
Tнιѕ ιѕ ɴoт wнαт I нαd plαɴɴed, ιт'ѕ oυт oғ мy coɴтrol
Flyιɴɢ αт тнe ѕpeed oғ lιɢнт
Tнoυɢнтѕ were ѕpιɴɴιɴɢ ιɴ мy нeαd
So мαɴy тнιɴɢѕ were leғт υɴѕαιd, ιт'ѕ нαrd тo leт yoυ ɢo
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ❖ ✚ ♫ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Mirzam lifted his head when he heard a knock on the door, only to see an auburn-haired man at his office's doorstep. He kind of recognized the man, though it took a moment for him to remember that his name was... Rick? Let alone his class. Then again, it was getting hard to be focused these days with his troublesome sleeping problems.
He then hurriedly straightened up himself and set his hands on the table, as if trying to look like he hadn't put his hands on his face ten seconds ago. He stared at Rick as he quietly listened, which then revealed a scar on his left cheek. Mirzam had easily lied to anyone asking how he got it, to which he said that he "simply tripped himself", and thankfully they believed him. Granted, he was a good liar when people ask about himself... except Sara, apparently.
He, however, felt very tensed when Rick sounded like he knew that he was having trouble sleeping, as shown with him clenching his fists that were covered in arm warmers in an attempt to cover the "souvenirs" he got from last year. Then Mirzam remembered that he was a nurse, and it was part of his job description. Maybe that was the case and it's not because Kenji acted like a snitch and told Rick the real reason why he disappeared last summer. "Um, s-sure. Take a seat." Mirzam quietly stammered, giving Rick a gesture to take a seat, "What do you want to talk about?" All the sudden the brunet envy towards Rick, since he seemed a bit comfortable talking about whatever problems he had. Even if honestly, he wasn't sure why the redhead would want to talk about it. It sounded really foreign to him if you ask Mirzam.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Sιттιɴɢ ιɴ αɴ eмpтy rooм, тryιɴɢ тo ғorɢeт тнe pαѕт
Tнιѕ wαѕ ɴever мeαɴт тo lαѕт, I wιѕн ιт wαѕɴ'т ѕo
I ĸɴow wнαт ιт тαĸeѕ тo мove oɴ, I ĸɴow нow ιт ғeelѕ тo lιe
All I wαɴт тo do ιѕ тrαde тнιѕ lιғe ғor ѕoмeтнιɴɢ ɴew
Holdιɴɢ oɴ тo wнαт I нαveɴ'т ɢoт
xxxoυт oғ cнαrαcтerxxx((ooc))▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
wнeɴ - Fall 2040 ↫xx
wнere - Sitting behind his desk ↫xxxx
wιтн - Himself (soon to be Rick) ↫xxxxxx
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 9:41 am
|
|
|
|
I had a dream the other night
About how we only get one life
Woke me up right after two
Stayed awake and stared at you
So I wouldn't lose my mind
════════════════════════
Rᴀᴠᴇɴᴄʟᴀᴡ Aʟᴜᴍɴɪ || Tʀᴀɴsғɪɢᴜʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ Pʀᴏғᴇssᴏʀ || Pᴏᴛɪᴏɴᴇᴇʀ
════════════════════════
Rick entered fully and took a seat, fully aware that this could go badly. However, he knew that something had happened, maybe not the full extent of it, but he knew something had. He bit his lip, since he hated recalling that particular event in his life, but he had to do something, right? "Thanks. I um, I keep having dreams, mostly revolving around an event before my third year in Hogwarts. In the dream, I'm in a house I can't escape. All the windows and doors are sealed shut, and there's this room I'm trapped in." He swallowed, his mind's eye flashing to Drae's corpse sitting in the corner staring at him accusingly. Not that Drae had ever looked at him like that, but it certainly seemed like it. "In the room, there's a corpse of a friend. He keeps staring at me accusingly. Sometimes he'll blame me for his entire family dying. Others, he'll scream at me that I'm just as crazy as the person that did this to him."
He hesitated, his hand rubbing his left arm before he swallowed. Pulling up his sleeve, he showed off the scar that adorned it. "The problem is, while my friend never actually blamed me for it, I was there when he was murdered. Third year, Megan Steele, my mother, decided to come after me and murdered an entire family just to get to me. I spent a month being tortured, imperioused, and locked into Drae's room with his corpse. I don't even know why she had decided to play house at the scene of her crimes. I was rescued eventually, but not before I wanted to die. I spent... I don't even know how many years blaming myself and having nightmares and panic attacks because of it."
He got to the part he was most hesitant about, and chewed his lip before proceeding. "I'm bringing this up to you because I've noticed that you've seemed to be having the same problems. You seem to be terrified of your own shadow and look like you're having trouble sleeping. It's okay to talk about this stuff if you need to. I doubt that you'll have the same problems I had with talking about it."
════════════════════════Location: Mirzam's Office
Thinking: I hope Mirzam's willing to talk...
OOC: -❤-
And I had the week that came from hell
And yes I know that you could tell
But you're like the net under the ledge
When I go flying off the edge
You go flying off as well
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 8:21 pm
|
|
|
|
( Halfblood ￭ Salem Alumnus ￭ Hogwarts School Nurse ) ↫xx
Wαιтιɴɢ ғor тнe eɴd тo coмe
Wιѕнιɴɢ I нαd ѕтreɴɢтн тo ѕтαɴd
Tнιѕ ιѕ ɴoт wнαт I нαd plαɴɴed, ιт'ѕ oυт oғ мy coɴтrol
Flyιɴɢ αт тнe ѕpeed oғ lιɢнт
Tнoυɢнтѕ were ѕpιɴɴιɴɢ ιɴ мy нeαd
So мαɴy тнιɴɢѕ were leғт υɴѕαιd, ιт'ѕ нαrd тo leт yoυ ɢo
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ❖ ✚ ♫ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Mirzam can now tell that Rick was not exactly comfortable in talking about, though to his surprise the redhead managed to do it anyway. This guy must be that bold to say this on a stranger like Mirzam, but then again he was a coward himself. As he listened, Mirzam was now tapping his finger on the table, feeling uncomfortable since he had been stuck in a room by himself before. Unless it's Rui or Ryn, with one of them torturing him to the point of almost dying until he was healed again with potions. There was a reason why he has pet peeve towards drinking potions in general.
He felt his shoulders tensed when Rick noted about how the boy in his nightmare yelled at him the same way of how Mirzam was yelled at in his dreams. Except that he more dreamt of not only the faceless people who lamented about how they suffered because of Rui, but he also dreamed of his small circle of friends giving him accusing stares as if they were waiting for him to be just as insane. Mirzam, for all the things he had suffered however, felt very sorry for Rick. But at the same time, he felt like something was grinding his gears because some of Rick's sayings sounded similar to him. Especially that Mirzam heard enough about the infamous Megan Steele. It was like almost hearing a different telling of his summer. Or thinking about the things Megan do sounded like something Rui/Ryn would do. More to Ryn, honestly.
Mirzam wasn't aware of it but his gold eyes looked like they're glaring at Rick when the man decided to do what Mirzam expected, telling him to talk about his goddamned problems. Yep, Kenji was definitely being a snitch. "Or maybe Kenji told you about it, didn't he?" He tightly said, hands clenching as if trying to control himself, "Not that I'm surprised if it were. I never trusted that guy. Claims to have the best intentions like some self-righteous Hufflepuff," Or more like he's expecting Kenji to disappoint him like how everyone around him did. And Rick was most likely going to be one of them. "Either way, I got nothing to talk about." Which was a lie, "If only people could just let me decide what's "best" for me, that would be ******** brilliant! I'm so sick of people thinking that I can't handle myself, as if I always needed assistance." Mirzam for the first time raised his voice out of bitterness, even before he got kidnapped he was a soft-spoken guy.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Sιттιɴɢ ιɴ αɴ eмpтy rooм, тryιɴɢ тo ғorɢeт тнe pαѕт
Tнιѕ wαѕ ɴever мeαɴт тo lαѕт, I wιѕн ιт wαѕɴ'т ѕo
I ĸɴow wнαт ιт тαĸeѕ тo мove oɴ, I ĸɴow нow ιт ғeelѕ тo lιe
All I wαɴт тo do ιѕ тrαde тнιѕ lιғe ғor ѕoмeтнιɴɢ ɴew
Holdιɴɢ oɴ тo wнαт I нαveɴ'т ɢoт
xxxoυт oғ cнαrαcтerxxx((ooc))▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
wнeɴ - Fall 2040 ↫xx
wнere - Sitting behind his desk ↫xxxx
wιтн - Himself (soon to be Rick) ↫xxxxxx
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 12:19 pm
|
|
|
|
I had a dream the other night
About how we only get one life
Woke me up right after two
Stayed awake and stared at you
So I wouldn't lose my mind
════════════════════════
Rᴀᴠᴇɴᴄʟᴀᴡ Aʟᴜᴍɴɪ || Tʀᴀɴsғɪɢᴜʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ Pʀᴏғᴇssᴏʀ || Pᴏᴛɪᴏɴᴇᴇʀ
════════════════════════
Rick bit his lip. Of course it wasn't going to be that easy. He knew that well enough. Though the accusation that Kenji had told him and that Rick hadn't noticed anything himself stung. He kept a handle on his temper however, and shook his head. "No, actually you're broadcasting it. Kenji didn't need to come to me, but he did. Mostly I think because what happened to me was common knowledge to everyone in my year. Or well, mostly common knowledge." He then leaned forward, pulling his sleeve down and looking at Mirzam directly. "I don't pretend to know what you went through, or how much of it happened. I just know my experiences and how they affected me. I didn't sleep, I was paranoid about anyone finding out, and I was especially terrified that I was just like my mum. Genetics being what they are, considering I have two parents that went off the deep end tells me that I have every reason to be concerned."
He shook his head, sighing. "I'm not going to pretend that I know what's best for you either. That's for you to decide. I'm just saying that I know something of what you're going through now. Honestly, it scares me. Not because of anything that happened to you, but because of what it could lead to. I didn't seek help for years, and I hurt myself because of it. Heck, I probably am crazy, but because it's me, I can't see it."
He hesitated, trying to think of how best to approach the subject. This was why he was so hesitant about helping Virgil. Though, in Virgil's defence, he'd sought Rick out after Rick had screamed at him to leave him alone. Comparatively speaking, after he knew that Virgil wanted the help, no matter how many things Dante had screamed at him and thrown at him, it was easier. That was what made helping Virgil out easier. "I'm just... Think about it, please. I'm not saying you have to talk to me, or to Kenji. Just talk to someone. if you don't, I'm not sure whatever happened isn't going to try and eat you alive."
════════════════════════Location: Mirzam's Office
Thinking: I hope Mirzam's willing to talk...
OOC: -❤-
And I had the week that came from hell
And yes I know that you could tell
But you're like the net under the ledge
When I go flying off the edge
You go flying off as well
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2018 12:12 am
|
|
|
|
( Halfblood ￭ Salem Alumnus ￭ Hogwarts School Nurse ) ↫xx
Wαιтιɴɢ ғor тнe eɴd тo coмe
Wιѕнιɴɢ I нαd ѕтreɴɢтн тo ѕтαɴd
Tнιѕ ιѕ ɴoт wнαт I нαd plαɴɴed, ιт'ѕ oυт oғ мy coɴтrol
Flyιɴɢ αт тнe ѕpeed oғ lιɢнт
Tнoυɢнтѕ were ѕpιɴɴιɴɢ ιɴ мy нeαd
So мαɴy тнιɴɢѕ were leғт υɴѕαιd, ιт'ѕ нαrd тo leт yoυ ɢo
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ❖ ✚ ♫ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Mirzam's gold eyes widened when Rick said that he was sort of "broadcasting" it, but the more Rick talk the whiter his pale knuckles turned under his long sleeves. It felt too similar for him but at the same time, just because Rick said all of this didn't mean Mirzam could trust him with his own information. Mirzam just wanted to be seen as functional, not being treated like he needed a shield. It was always a pattern of how Rei was trying to protect him all this time, as well as a teenager protecting him from Rui's wrath. Still he gave a bitter scoff when Rick admitted that he cannot pretend to know what's the best for him but he didn't say anything.
He stood up from his seat when Rick seemed to not stop about wanting to listen to him. Just because he was telling all this tragic backstories didn't mean Mirzam was obligated to share his. Talking was useless and burdensome, and people have things to do. "No." Mirzam seethed, fist shaking, "See? That's the point: you don't know what's best for me, so why bother asking for help? People always let you down from my experience. And people. Always. ALWAYS go in their way risking their lives for me! Do you know what it feels to see someone kind and innocent risking themselves because of me?!" Mirzam finally snapped in anger, almost shouting at Rick. He was filled with utter guilt every time he saw Sara passing by, seeing her carrying the burden of killing Rui. Mirzam should have done it so Sara didn't have to, but he was too weak and beaten down to fight. That made him miserable every single day. "It's like I was letting people solve my problems. It looked as if I couldn't do anything to fend for myself, it's just-- It's INSULTING! Why can't people be happy that I can stand on my own two feet being productive? Shouldn't that be enough for you!?"
Mirzam felt his heart pounding, as if wanting to cry from the look of his misted eyes. He stared down at Rick for a while, but he looked away with gritted teeth. "You want me to be a burden on you or Kenji or anyone else? Yeah sure, Red, keep dreaming." He turned and walked past Rick, but he paused at the doorway, "Don't bother talking to me, it's a waste of your time and you have other things to do."
The nurse turned his back and walked out down the hallway, his head down as he tried not to look like he was wiping his eyes.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Sιттιɴɢ ιɴ αɴ eмpтy rooм, тryιɴɢ тo ғorɢeт тнe pαѕт
Tнιѕ wαѕ ɴever мeαɴт тo lαѕт, I wιѕн ιт wαѕɴ'т ѕo
I ĸɴow wнαт ιт тαĸeѕ тo мove oɴ, I ĸɴow нow ιт ғeelѕ тo lιe
All I wαɴт тo do ιѕ тrαde тнιѕ lιғe ғor ѕoмeтнιɴɢ ɴew
Holdιɴɢ oɴ тo wнαт I нαveɴ'т ɢoт
xxxoυт oғ cнαrαcтerxxx((ooc))▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
wнeɴ - Fall 2040 ↫xx
wнere - Sitting behind his desk ↫xxxx
wιтн - Himself (soon to be Rick) ↫xxxxxx
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
