⎾ MOROSIS ⏌

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



It surprised him to see Kirean, though it probably shouldn't have. They weren't in such a large area. Abel was glad Miguel hadn't noticed Kieran, though Kieran had seen them. He only hoped the male didn't make a scene. Abel was not in the mood to deal with him so early in the morning. He however only had himself to blame for being so stupid. Abel had thought seeing Miguel again would do Kirean some good, however that was not the case.

Sitting there lost in thought, though his focus on remaining sure Kirean kept his seat; they were soon greeted by a waiter who inquired about their drink choice. Abel waited as Miguel gave his order before giving his own plain black coffee. He too needed something to warm but to also clear his head.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Jakob was glad that he had not seen Kieran. Seeing him would have likely scared him and he had nowhere to hide. Kieran knew where he lived, where he worked. He wouldn’t be surprised if he somehow found out where his mother and her family lived as well. Meeting him here would not have been good either. The bistro was not very big and they were too far from the door for him to make a quick escape.

As the waiter approached, Jakob soon gave his order as did Abel. The waiter nodded and excused himself. Looking towards Abel, he could see that something was off. ”What’s wrong?” He asked curiously. Jakob hoped that he was being paranoid but he knew him well enough that something was wrong. Jakob was used to Abel’s silence so he hadn’t given it too much thought. Their entire walk he seemed lost in thought and he didn’t know why. Now he was beginning to think that it was a little more than busy thoughts.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



Across the room, Kirean sat in his own booth. He had hoped to avoid Miguel until his leave but that was not the case. However now seeing Abel with him only angered and hurt him more. Kirean didn't understand the two of them. He shouldn't have been surprised to see them together. Even before, they both held their own attraction toward each other.

The idea of hurting Miguel in such a small area hardly held any interest in him. If he wanted to hurt Miguel physically, it wouldn't be in such a public location. Kirean though had such thoughts but kept them at bare. Currently he was in a semi staring contest with Abel who had noticed him first.

As Abel sat there reviewing the menu, he was indeed playing a game of staring with Kieran. He'd given the waiter his drink order before the man left. Abel hadn't meant to ignore Miguel and get lost in the game. He was brought from his thoughts as Miguel questioned him. Abel sighed not wanting to lie to Miguel in case Kirean did something stupid. ”Kirean…He's here…” He put simply as he set his menu down and closed it.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

It was no secret that Kieran disliked his affections towards Abel. From early on, it was encouraged that he keep his distance. As time went on and he got to know the man a little better Jakob couldn't deny his curiosity and formed a sort of bond with him. He knew that his relationship with Abel was a strange one. It had its ups and downs and then ups again. But Abel was never his to claim and vice versa. It was a simple truth that he understood.

Sitting across from Abel he could see that something was off about him. He seemed like he was a thousand miles away and worried that he had done something to upset him. Asking him, Jakob watched him pull himself from his thoughts and sigh. The color drained from his face when Abel admitted that Kieran was here. Where?! he thought. Jakob fought the urge to look around frantically. He didn't want to draw attention to himself, though it was likely that he already had. Across the table Abel closed his menu and set it down on the table. "Is he mad?" he whispered.

Thoughts of yesterdays encounter flashed into his mind once more. How angry he was, the press of his hand on his throat. Once again he found himself without any form of protection. He hadn't needed it since coming home. As Jakob sat there trying not to panic their waiter returned with their drinks. "One coffee and a cafe au lait." he said, setting the drinks down before them. "Are we ready to order?" Trying his best to fix his face, Jakob nodded. "Ah yes, I'll have the waffle platter with scrambled eggs and hashbrowns." he said, switching languages as he handed the man his menu. "Very nice, and for you sir?" he asked turning his attention to Abel.

Unable to hold back his curiosity, Jakob turned slightly to where the man had been staring. Just as Abel said, there he was. His breath caught and Jakob was unsure how to respond. He turned his head back to the table and picked up his mug. He didn't even hear the rest of the exchange going on beside him as he raised the mug to his lips and took a cautious sip.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



Indeed Kieran didn't understand their relationship though it hadn't surprised him. He cared for Abel too even from an early age, he'd become blind by him. Even now Kieran cared for Abel even if he didn't show it. Abel had taken care of him in his hardest of times and no one else knew him better. He had thought he had found love in Miguel though that was quickly denied to him.

While Abel couldn't lie to Miguel, he didn't want him to worry. He watched as the color drained from Miguel as he spoke. Abel could see it worried Miguel as he questioned him. Before he could respond, their waiter returned with their drinks and asked them about their order. He waited as Miguel drew himself and answered.

Abel hadn't looked over the menu much. He opened it, chanced a glance and gleaned over it. Abel eventually settled on a stack of pancakes and a few slices of bacon with sausage. He gave his order as he closed his menu. Abel glanced to see Miguel turning to find Kieran. The waiter took their orders and left to input them. He watched as Miguel turned around to grab his cup and take a sip from it. Abel hardly thought Kieran would create fear in Miguel. ”You okay?” He asked, having not known everything.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Knowing that Kieran froze him. He worried that he would be angry after yesterday's encounter. He tried and failed not to let that worry show. He didn't want anything bad to happen, especially with so many uninvolved parties around them. Trying to be calm, he gave his order before peaking back at Kieran. There he was sitting by himself and looking like he throw his fist into the nearest wall. Turning back in his seat, he hardly heard the last of Abel's exchange with the waiter as he took a sip from his mug. The sound of Abel's soft voice brought him back to reality. Setting the mug back down Jakob bit his lip.

He didn't know what to say. How could someone he loved hurt him so much. "F-fine." he lied with a forced smile. Even Jakob didn't believe himself and he was sure that Abel didn't either. But he didn't want him to make a big deal out of it either. This was his problem, if not for him, Abel wouldn't even be here right now. Jakob looked back towards Kieran once more. There was still so much left unsaid and now it felt as though those conversations could never be had. While he was genuinely worried for his own well-being, Jakob found himself to to also be sad for the part of himself that still actively cared for Kieran. All those memories, their late nights together, sharing meals and getting to know each other. What was the point of it all. Turning forward again, Jakob leaned his arms on the table. "Is it wrong if I still feel something for him?" he asked softly.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



Between Kieran and Miguel, there was unfinished business. He however had no one but to blame but himself. Kieran though felt it in himself to blame Miguel for what happened. He watched as Miguel turned to look at him. Kirean couldn't help but give him an annoyed look of anger. He knew though it probably would only scare Miguel which wasn't his intention. Kirean was merely pissed off and yet he had regretted his actions the night before.

Questioning Miguel, Abel watched as Miguel seemed lost in thought. It took a few seconds before he responded with lying words. He could see he clearly wasn't fine though wasn't sure pushing the issue was a good idea. Abel watched as Miguel looked back at Keiran again. He could only assume what was going on through both their heads as they looked at each other.

Reaching for his coffee, Abel took a sip from it. He wasn't surprised by Miguel's next question though it left him curious. ”Does it bother you if you do?” Abel asked, knowing it would probably be weird if he didn't still care about Kirean.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Jakob understood that he was partly to blame for their unfinished business. If he had stopped for one second and listened to Kieran when he tried to talk to him maybe things could gone differently. But he was too angry and all he wanted was to get away. His actions had frightened him, even now he was frightened. As he looked back he was given nothing but annoyance and anger. Why was he still here if he hated him so much. Especially knowing how close he was to this place. The chances of running into one another were so high he didn't understand what Kieran was thinking.

The Kieran in his memories was mostly kind and gentle. Yes, they fought, and often so. But eventually they would find their way back to one another. Jakob felt sad thinking about those times and ached to be held by him again. Leaning against the table, the man across from him silently sipped his coffee. Jakob questioned him, wondering if it was okay to have these feelings. However, Abel didn't really help as he only questioned him in return. Jakob was quiet a moment before nodding. "A bit." he said, still speaking softly. "There's a part of me that always hoped he would come back...but then he does this kind of s**t and it's like ******** him."

As Jakob spoke, his throat began to feel tight and he knew if he continued he was probably going to cry. He pushed past the feeling and took another sip from his mug. "But then I also start to feel guilty...because when I'm with you, you make everything better...A-and I like being with you...I-I like you. But I still like him too, and I don't know what to do with that." Jakob held the mug between his hands as he said all this. His voice quivered and it took all he had not to start balling right there in the middle of the restaurant.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



The reason he was mad wasn't entirely because of Miguel. He felt betrayed by the two people he cared about the most and yet he felt neither of them cared for him. Kirean still hadn't gotten the answers he needed. He knew his actions last night had been unforgivable. Kirean hadn't meant to hurt Miguel and yet he did. He still wanted to talk to him. It hurt to remember all the good times they had with each other.

As Miguel questioned him, he had no answer but questions. Abel knew most of the time Miguel could figure it out without being told. He sipped his coffee as Miguel soon responded. Abel listened though not surprised by his words. He knew Miguel was stuck in the middle with the two of them. ”Do you think Kirean cares nothing for you?” Abel asked trying to understand the problem.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Last night he had meant it when he said he wanted to end things. Jakob had been so scared of him that he didn't care how angry or upset Kieran was. It didn't justify his actions towards him. Still those old feelings clawed at him and he didn't know what he wanted anymore. Jakob held the mug between his hands as he made his confession known. He felt stupid for finding himself caught between two men such as Abel and Kieran. One, he knew he had no chance with whatsoever. And the other, he had no idea what he wanted.

Across the table Abel listened to him quietly as he sipped his coffee. When he was done, he was faced with another of Abel's questions. Jakob wasn't sure where he was going with all these questions, but he answered them all the same. Shaking his head, Jakob took another sip from his own mug. "But I think some bitter part of him wants to." he replied. Lifting a hand from the mug, Jakob touched the spot where Kieran had choked him. Of all the times he had been angry, not once did he ever a mark on him.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



Kirean still cared and loved Miguel though let his anger rage on last night. Perhaps if Miguel hadn't pushed him away he wouldn't have cracked. Even last night, Kirean had thought Miguel still cared for him and yet he felt stupid. He knew he had hurt Miguel and yet he saw nothing there that reassured him.

Abel watched Miguel as he seemed to go through his thoughts. He knew Miguel cared for him and yet he wasn't so willing to give into his own desires. Sure, he had sexual desires but beyond that he was fearful of his own needs. Abel knew he wasn't helping Miguel with his current dilemma but wasn't sure how. He questioned Miguel again, listening as he spoke. Abel watched as Miguel reached for his neck. ”Should we ask?” He asked glancing toward Kirean who merely watched them curiously.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Raising his hand, his fingers grazed the spot that Kieran held so tightly. It still hurt, but not nearly as much as before. Any tighter and he was sure Kieran would have crushed his windpipe. It was that thought alone that made him panic yesterday and why he called Abel in the first place. Deep down, Jakob still cared about Kieran. Probably a lot more than any sane person should. But now, he didn't know what to do.

The longer he sat there he could feel Abel's eyes watching him. That was another problem. What was he supposed to do with his feelings for Abel? He didn't want them to be separated another two whole years, barely speaking with only a handful of texts and maybe a phone call every other month. When Abel questioned him again, he lowered his hand. He bit his lower lip, taking another moment to weigh his options. If they actually talked, they could probably clear some things. Whereas by ignoring him, he could be risking another home visit. Or worse, Kieran might disappear into the wind altogether and he'd be left with the guilt of passing up such an opportunity. Taking a shaky breath and running hand through his hair, he nodded. "Yeah, okay. We can try." he replied. Following Abel's line of sight, Jakob looked towards the male. He didn't seem as annoyed as before, but he still felt cautious. If not for Abel's presence, he wouldn't be trying this at all.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



His own feelings didn't matter to him. Abel chose to ignore them as he always had. He knew nothing good would come from him admitting he liked Miguel though nearly loved him. Abel was crazy in his own thoughts of love. He was selfish in which he wanted to keep such feelings to himself. Abel didn't know when again he'd see Miguel when he left. He couldn't promise him such hope.

Questioning Miguel, he was giving him the opportunity to talk to Kirean. Abel couldn't guarantee he'd get the answers he'd wanted but at least he'd be there for the support. After a few minutes, Miguel responded. Abel nodded, moving to get off the seat. He stood and crossed the room toward Kirean who seemed surprised by such action.

Sitting there, Kirean thought the two of them would just ignore him. He at least hoped that would be the case. Kirean watched as Miguel and Abel conversed for a short while before Abel stood and started toward him. He sat almost anxiously wondering if Abel would tell him to leave.

As Abel approached Kirean's table, he watched as he practically squirmed while his face seemed to race with thoughts. He found Kirean had a terrible poker face at times. Abel reached the table as he leaned down, soon greeted with words from Kirean. ”What do you want?” The male growled out at Abel.

”It's not what I want, it's what he wants.” Abel growled back in kind as he glanced over his shoulder at Miguel. Kirean followed his direction. ”And what does he want?” He gritted out toward Abel as he looked at Miguel. ”To talk, to understand…” Abel responded as he waited to see if Kirean would comply.

Kieran was not into talking or understanding though knew Abel wasn't likely to give him a choice. He sighed standing up, ”Fine, lead the way.” Kirean responded as he grabbed his coffee cup, waiting for Abel to get out of his way. He was still waiting for his breakfast he ordered. Kirean hoped his waitress had a mind to notice he'd moved tables.

Abel was surprised Kirean gave in so easily though if he hadn't, he'd likely only force him. He was not in the mood for such actions though wasn't above it. Abel stepped away from Kirean heading back toward the table with him in tow. As they reached the table, he motioned for Kirean to sit on first. Kirean turned to look at him with his eyes rolled, assuming that he'd only run if he didn't. He complied, taking a seat all the way in and setting his cup down. Abel followed, sitting beside Kirean to block him from getting out.

Once seated, Kirean glanced toward Miguel. He didn't know what to say. Kirean wasn't even sure what to talk about. To him, they were beyond words though he knew they needed to talk. They hadn't talked in two years since the last time he'd seen Miguel in the hotel before leaving. Kirean didn't count last night as talking as it was more of an argument to him. He sat watching waiting for Miguel to talk first so that way he wouldn't feel so awkward as he did now.

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

It would appear that despite his confession, his feelings for Abel would be a conversation for another time. While Jakob didn't say anything, he was a little disappointed by the lack of acknowledgement towards it. He suspected Abel felt something more for him than simple friendship. Why else would he have taken the time, the effort, and the money to come out here, if only for friendship. For now, he wouldn't press the issue. Jakob had enough on his plate without worrying if Abel was in fact in love with him.

Running a hand through his hair, Jakob agreed that a talk was needed with Kieran. For anything reason, maybe they could both get some answers they were looking for. Looking across the table, Abel nodded and slipped out of his seat. Jakob watched as the male stood and walked the short distance over to Kieran's table. From where he was sitting, he couldn't hear what was being said. He could barely see what kind of face Kieran made as Abel towered over him. Whatever was said, he knew that he was being talked about as Abel glanced back at him, and soon Kieran looked his way as well.

After a few moments of conversing, Kieran picked up his coffee cup and walked with Abel back to their table. Jakob sat there trying to keep his express as neutral as possible but was finding that to more difficult than he anticipated. Picking up his own mug, Jakob took another sip in hopes it would settle his nerves. As the two men came back, he watched as Kieran slid into the seat opposite him with Abel soon following. He found it a little amusing the way Abel blocked him in there. Then again it was probably for the best. If their conversation started to go a way that Kieran didn't want it to, he would have nowhere to run.

Setting down his mug, Jakob felt eyes on him. He glanced back at Kieran, briefly meeting his gaze. Looking away he didn't know where to start. Here was a man he thought would love him and never hurt him. Now he felt like a complete stranger. He was nervous and honestly a little scared to be sitting here like this. But he knew if he didn't say anything, Kieran would just disappear all over again.

"I'm surprised you're still here." he started. His eyes stared down at the table while spoke. "I thought by now you would have gotten on a plane and run off again. It's what you did the last time we fought, right?"

Biting his lower lip, Jakob sat quietly again. He must be a real idiot for thinking this was a good idea. He certainly was a fool for wanting someone that kept running away from him. Maybe he should have taken the memo that he just wasn't wanted. Lifting his gaze, Jakob looked between the men. His eyes darting from Kieran to Abel and back again while he waited for the other to say something.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜



Taking a seat Kirean watched Miguel across the table. He could see the marks across his neck. Kirean had left marks on Miguel before though, none of violence. He had been angry though shouldn't have made such a point. Kirean could see the fear in Miguel's eyes as if he'd jump across the table and attack him. He had changed but so had Miguel.

Silence took over as they all sat there, if Miguel wanted to talk then it was his move. Kirean wasn't going to make it easier on Miguel. As Miguel spoke though such words only annoyed him more. He wasn't surprised by his accusing words. Kieran shifted in his seat as he crossed his arms and leaned on the table. ”Would you rather I leave then, I can still do that?... That way you two can do whatever it is you're doing.” He commented as he glanced between the two of them.