When did she get so big? R’til thought privately to Xiezhith when they pushed off - not with Western, but with Western when they left. It was easier to vanish in a flurry of wings than to remain and have his lack of loyalty to any Weyr questioned. To be noticed, to be prodded at. The blue rumbled unhappily at the inquiry. At least, R’til suspected that was the cause. What? Are you mad about all those beautiful greens I pulled you from? he asked instead. Yes. You may have no qualms about a lack of companionship, but maybe I would enjoy having somebody to chat with, the blue replied with every ounce of love in this body….but also with enough venom to be scathing.

Loneliness did not suit the dragon, yet there he was, cursed to it because of the love of a man.

She is much bigger than I thought she would be, though. Humans grow so slowly yet so quickly at the same time, the blue continued, enjoying the feeling of the air on his face. It would have been quicker to Between to their destination, but it was still close enough that a chance to spread his wings was in order. With the morning sun beating down on them, the warmth was nice as well. A shame that Red Star was on the horizon as well, looking at them both with a judging eye. Has it…..been so long?

R’til had imagined his daughter would have been but 15, maybe even 16. He still saw her as that small girl sitting on the end of Leboya’s bed, the ailing woman telling her a story as she brushed her hair. It had seemed as though she’d had a lot then, but now she wore it like a mane, which curled in all directions. And her face…..

What was wrong with her face? Xiezhith had certainly noticed but waited for R’til to say it instead. She looks just like her mother, he lamented. It made his heart ache for a woman that didn’t even have a grave in this world. He’d sent her where all important people went. She’s become a fine woman now and I saw none of it, part of him longed to fix it. To take her up and tell her he was sorry for being awful. But it had been so long. It would have felt as long if you stopped ripping open your self-pity and wounded heart and kept all of your edges so fresh and bloody, Xiezhith reminded.

Of course, he was right, but R’til wouldn’t say it. Xiezhith knew he wouldn’t.

She was beautiful, he said instead, earning an approving rumble from the dragon beneath him. Yes. That little gold was quite lovely. R’til gave the dragon an open-palmed thump! with one hand. I know who you meant, he added, orange and red whirling in his eyes as mere thoughts amongst the green. Her new lifemate is never the less, beautiful.

Lifemate. The word nearly knocked the wind out of him as its weight sunk in.

Looking back thoughtfully, R’til couldn’t help but send his own thoughts off into the nothing, the beyond. Leboya. Our little Martirae is a junior weyrwoman of High Reaches now. She would be proud - if anybody waited beyond and could hear such thoughts.

----

He could see her so easily in his mind, standing on the ledge of his weyr holding the tiny infant in her arms while Xiezhith looked over them thoughtfully. She hummed one of those slightly off-tune songs that she could never remember all of the words to.

“Do you prefer being R’til, or would it be alright if I used Raetil instead?” she asked, “I just like that part, is all.” She leaned her forehead against Xiezhith’s snout - all smiles as the blue exhaled deeply, ruffling her long, dark hair. “You stole it away!”

Xiezhith seemed to laugh, as much as a dragon could at the teasing accusation. I held onto it for later! You clearly found where I left it! Leboya’s entire face crinkled as she smiled, looking down at the baby she cradled in her arms. “I did,” she said, smoothing one hand over her daughter’s forehead, “I put it somewhere less likely to be lost.”

----

We could go to High Reaches, you know. Xiezhith suggested as he settled in near the Healer Hall, waiting for R’til to dismount. The man’s lips tightened at the suggestion. “I wonder. They did just suffer a mighty offense at the hand of a sister Weyr…” he deflected, answered with an irritated thrum. “It just isn’t the time, Xiezhith!” His daughter was chosen and that alone was a large weight off of his shoulders, but there was something else that boiled in there.

Xiezhith shifted to give the man a disapproving look once he was dismounted.

“What?” R’til’s mute expression was accompanied by a mental weight that forced the blue down, rumbling unhappily. He sighed, reaching out to stroke his lifemate’s face, leaning his forehead against Xiezhith’s. For all the arguing and unhappiness, there was still love. “I don’t want to ruin this for her. It isn’t time….I just….”

Xiezhith nudged his snout up against his beloved lifemate’s chest. I am tired, R’til. Something has to change. R’til stroked the dragon’s eyeridge, expression still just as serious.

“I know. I…..just don’t think that’s how.”

Xiezhith would have to continue to push. He would have to continue to do…something.