[Split x Lostpaw] Insecure like me.

[NatiStorm]

It was a beautiful day with the sun shinning high above, birds chirping away in the trees, a light cool breeze blowing past and Split couldn't be more annoyed. His tail lashed from side to side as he sat under the shade of big leafy bush. The sun was to bright, there should be more clouds. The birds were annoying and should drop dead to provide an easy meal. The breeze was probably blowing his scent in the direction of the stupid clan cats. Everything about this day just grated on his nerves. All that was missing to make the day worse was one of the clan cats.

His fur raised and his tail fluffed up as he thought about his last interaction with one of the clans around these parts. What had that she cat called them? The Light clan? Lightening Clan maybe? Whoever they were, they were not welcoming to strangers, that was for sure. Split fought to suppress a growl as he remembered the sudden attack. All he was guilty of was following a rabbit past the edge of their boarder. Was that really such a crime?

All his life Split had been bullied but this recent encounter had really shaken him. It had been so long since he'd seen another cat and that's how he'd been greeted. Though he had moved away from that clan's territory, he could smell that he'd come upon another clan. This time, he hadn't crossed the boarder, merely sat next to it. In all honesty, he wasn't even sure why he was sticking around.

With a huffy growl, he raised himself, glared in the direction of the clan, and turned to walk away.

belloblossom

 

[belloblossom]

As of late, Lostpaw really had been feeling as though she'd received a blessing. Shortly after the celestial battle, she found her family expanding. Waspkit and Goldenleaf were still her mother and brother, but now Direstar and Honeystar seemed to be like a second set of parents for her! Her orange parents, she called them. It was from Direstar, and all of ForestClan, that she had received her blessing.

At first she didn't know what it meant, but when the green fern-like markings appeared on her later, she realized that she was once again going to be seen as different from the other cats. Then, when she became an apprentice, she got the mentor she'd been seeking: Flamedapple, the mother of her fellow apprentices and a she-cat sporting one working eye, just like Lostpaw was!

Training was hard, but Lostpaw was happy that she was able to get a mentor that knew her situation a little better. She knew that there were some cats that still looked at her differently and not in a good way. An image of her father, Stonebelly, flashed in her mind. She tried to shoo the thought of him away, staring at the ground.

"Continue your duties, Lostpaw. Think not of negative influences." She mewed to herself, trying to sound like her mentor. She had been sent out to get moss for the elders. Sure, she may have gone a little farther than was necessary, but... this was where the best moss was found! She was only thinking of the elders... That's what she planned on telling Flamedapple, if asked, anyway.

So, Lostpaw continued towards the Clan border with her head lifted and her eye taking in all the sights of the territory. Between the brightness of the sun and the blue sky above, she almost missed the scent on the breeze. Almost.

Lostpaw didn't recognize that scent, she thought and squatted down into a hunter's crouch, starting to creep forward. As she got to the border, she spotted a grey and black striped tomcat, with striking tabby patterns. He was just getting up and then he turned to look in her direction and... She stumbled forward.

"Don't go!" She mewed, hurrying forward and stopping with her paws on the border. "Your-Your eyes, they're-" Lostpaw's eye shone with awe and admiration. "Beautiful." Maybe a bit of jealousy, too.

Natitsuri

 

[NatiStorm]

So wrapped up in his own thoughts, Split didn't smell the cat approaching him. Split was so focused on his last encounter and leaving these cat filled woods behind that he didn't hear the young she cat until she spoke. Taken completely by surprise, the startled tomcat jumped into the air, spun, and landed facing the source of the voice with his tail fluffed out.

Upon seeing that he was faced with just a young, what was it they were called in clans again? Foot or something? Whatever, a young she cat, Split almost immediately relaxed a little. Even if she was a fighter, the duel color coated tom was confident that she was not a threat. It was a moment after looking her over that he realized she only had one eye. Her threat level dropped even more.

As she mentioned his eyes, Split's one straight ear flattened and he went over a thousand mental replies in his mind to what bullying line the young cat might say next. The word "beautiful" caught him off guard. His eyes had never been complimented before. This had to be some sort of joke. Surely this young cat couldn't be serious.... Could she?

"Oh, you think so, do you?" His tone was sarcastic and had a hint of threat to it. Split was not going to let a one eyed she-cat foot or whatever insult him. He readied himself to attack if the cat in front of him was indeed poking fun at his eyes.

belloblossom

 

[belloblossom]

Lostpaw stared at the cat with dual-colored eyes, transfixed on the two vastly different colors of his eyes. She couldn't have put a more accurate word on it and she had thought it was a compliment, but he didn't seem very pleased.

She took a step back when he flattened his ears-well, ear and looked uncertain. Frowning a little, she tilted her head, but nodded.
"Yes, I really do. I-" She glanced down, her tail lowering. "I'm kind of jealous. I bet everyone wants to be your friend." She looked up with a shy, friendly expression. "I'd give anything to have eyes like yours. Two of them, sure, but different colors? That would be like a dream." She cracked a small smile. "I don't suppose you want to trade?" She asked, shifting her weight so that she could indicate the furless patch on the other side of her face.

Shuffling her paws uncertainly, she took a step forward, her toes on the scent border.
"M-My name's Lostpaw. What's yours...?" She hedged, hoping that he'd stick around to talk to her. She'd never met a loner before!

Natitsuri

 

[NatiStorm]

Shock was the best way to describe Split's state of mind. He was frozen, his brain overloaded. This couldn't be right. She really was serious, not joking. But everyone joked about him. His eyes, his fur, his ears, everything about him was a joke! Could this young clan cat really be jealous of his eyes? For a few moments all Split could do was just sit there staring in disbelief.

Finally he looked at, really looked at, the cat in front of him. It was then he finally noticed that she not only had one eye, she was also covered in some sort of weird green...stuff he had never seen before. Split wondered if she was ever made fun of or was bullied by other cats. Did clans do that, bully each other? Or did everyone treat her like she was helpless? Perhaps this clan she was a part of simply embraced such differences and didn't pay attention to them? His mind reeled with questions that he might ask but his attention was brought back to the cat who had asked him questions.

"I don't have friends." Split said bluntly. It was the truth, he didn't have any friends and believed that he never would. "I like having two eyes but if I could give you another eye, I would." He sincerely would. It was hard enough getting along with other cats with his different eyes, he couldn't imagine what it was like only having one.

Ah, paw! That's what they were called in clans. Split hesitated on giving his name. In the end his curiosity won and in order to have his questions answered, he decided to be civil with the clan cat. "Split."

belloblossom

 

[belloblossom]

Lostpaw blinked in surprise when the tomcat in front of her replied that he didn't have any friends. How could that be, he was so handsome! With eyes like those, and the rest of him too... He ought to be like the most popular cat ever!

She licked her chest in partial embarrassment at the sincerity in his voice and by the time he'd told her his name, she'd already decided on her reply.

"Pleased to meetcha, Split." She mewed, flicking her ears and smiling at him. "While I can't fathom why you don't have friends... If you want, I could be your friend!" She had paused to wonder for a moment wondering if the ForestClan code allowed for her to be friends with a loner. It said that being friends with cats from other Clans was allowed, so surely she could be friends with a loner, right?

She hoped it was that way, because she desperately wanted to be Split's friend. He looked so cool and he seemed kind enough, surely all that ear-pinning was because she was a stranger, right? She leaned forward.
"Whaddya think? Wanna be friends?" She repeated.

Natitsuri

 

[NatiStorm]

As the young she-cat spoke, Split's eyes narrowed at her suspicially. Did she really just say that she can't fathom why he didn't have friends? Did she not see the way he acted towards her? Was she mostly blind in the one eye she had? Or was this cat actually just that naive?

"I don't have friends because I don't need friends." Split said with his eyes still narrowed. Behind him, his tail lashed side to side. "Why would I be friends with you?" His words came out harsher than he meant. What he really wanted to ask was why she would want to be friends with him? This young cat barely even knew him! And since when were clan cat's so friendly? Every other time he'd met a clan cat, they had chased him off, usually with after a fight. He twitched his standing ear and looked away from the young clan cat.

"What I mean is... You should get to know a stranger before becoming friends and I don't know you." He paused and looked back to her, his twitching tail the only sign of his internal debate. It was true he had questions for the cat but he wasn't going to pretend to be friends to get his answers. Perhaps there was another way he could get her to talk without the pretense of friends. "While we now know each other's names, I know nothing else about you nor you me."

belloblossom

 

[belloblossom]

Lostpaw snorted a little at his words.
"Oh, c'mon, every cat needs frie-" His question silenced her, hurt flashing in her eye. She thought of Stonebelly and the way he stared past her, like she wasn't even there. She thought of the way that her Clan mates stared when the green markings appeared on her. She knew it was meant as a blessing, but now she was the one-eyed green apprentice. She'd become so at ease lately, between spending time with her mentor in her waking hours and asleep spending time with Honeystar and Direstar.

What was she doing out here, with this stranger? She flicked her ears as he spoke again, glancing up at him.
"Oh, um.." Her uncertainty budding, she wasn't sure how to continue the conversation. He wanted to get to know her? Would he be her friend then? Or would he look at her the same way everyone did when she was a kit? She would do her best to make sure that wouldn't happen. She would make him like her, just like she made everyone like her! "Well, what do you want to know?" She asked.

Natitsuri

 

[NatiStorm]

As Split looked back to Lostpaw, he caught just a flash of hurt on the young cat's face. He was so used to clan cats being mean, well, all cats being mean to him really, that he wasn't used to being kind to anyone. Something about this young clan cat was tugging at his emotions. Was it because she was actually being kind to him? Or maybe it was just him feeling sorry for her one eye? Regardless the reason, Split wasn't sure he liked feeling guilty for acting in his normal manner. Surely she was just being gentle with him because she was to young to know any better.... right?

"What is the name of the clan you belong to that claims this land?" He asked after a few moments of internal debate. Split had so many questions he wanted to ask. Several of those questions had to do with the appearance of the Lostpaw but Split figured he'd been rude enough to her and should start off questioning her. He'd had enough cat's question his own appearance before ever asking his name and he hated it. Whether the young she-cat felt the same or not, he was not going to be one of those cats. He would ease into those questions, if the young cat stayed around long enough to ask them.

"Can you tell me a bit about your clan?" Split's voice was full of curiosity. Knowing more about the clan whose boarder he was lurking at was important. So far this clan seemed much more friendly than the last one he had encountered. Split had always assumed all clans lived by the same rules, but maybe this one was different?

belloblossom

 

[belloblossom]

At the questioning from Split, Lostpaw shuffled her paws a bit, but began to set herself a little at ease. She wasn't sure if he would lash out again, but he had settled to ask her things. That had to mean he was still somewhat interested in her, right?

"RiverClan. Well, we used to be RockClan, but I don't really know what happened with the name change." She shrugged. "Well, I reckon we're called RiverClan now given the, uh, river." She said sheepishly. "Um, we're more or less like LightningClan, but we follow better rules." She grinned. "They're all stuck-up and follow these ancient rules that don't even make any sense! Like, if a LightningClan cat catches prey, they have to thank their warrior ancestors, but in RiverClan, you thank yourself! Or the warrior that got it for you. And warriors eat first, because they're the strength of RiverClan. That's one of the reasons that I can't wait to become a warrior, you know. Cause you get more perks."

She paused to think a moment.
"We eat fish. That's different than most cats." She shrugged again. "We're just better than any other Clan. It's that simple." She peered at Split with a curious eye. "Why? Are you thinking about joining?" She gave a thoughtful expression. "Actually, I don't know the rules on loners joining... I'll ask Flamedapple later and let you know, if you want." She offered, under the impression that of course they'd meet up again. Why wouldn't they?

Natitsuri

 

[NatiStorm]

Split listened intently as the young she cat spoke. No other clan cat had taken the time to tell him such things. As she explained clan things to him, he tried his best to commit all the new information to memory. LighteningClan was mean and followed ancient rules. RiverClan had Lostpaw who wasn't mean and followed more logical rules. Seemed simple enough to remember.

At the mention of fish, Split perked up, his eyes not narrowed for once. Fish was a rare tasty treat that Split had always enjoyed. However, he did not enjoy a wet coat so he hardly ever sought after the oily prey. As Lostpaw mentioned joining her clan, the grumpy expression Split normally wore returned to his features.

"No. I don't want to join." Split said, careful to keep his tone firm but not harsh. "I don't do well with clans." After a moment of thought he added, "You're the first clan cat to even speak to me kindly."

He shifted himself uneasily feeling as though he was taking advantage of the kindness of the young apprentice.

"Clan cat's only care about themselves. All of the ones I've seen, except for you, have always been aggressive and selfish." His distrust and loathing for the clans was clear in his voice. "I want no part of that. I have survived just fine on my own. You say you can't wait to be a warrior because then you can eat before the rest of the clan, well, I can eat whatever I catch, whenever I want." He wasn't trying to brag, just trying to enlighten his conversation partner. It didn't make sense to him why they couldn't all just eat whenever they wanted to. Split couldn't figure out how all those cats managed to live so close without fighting each other over resources.The whole idea of clan life just seemed so stressful.

belloblossom

 

[belloblossom]

Lostpaw frowned when Split said he didn't want to join. When he went on to mention that she was the only Clan cat to speak kindly to him, her frown disappeared, giving way to a look of surprise.

"Really?" She asked, taken aback. That can't be true! She thought.Why would anyone turn down a chance to talk to him? Sure, she supposed he'd been a little abrasive when they'd first met, but now they were having a proper and good conversation! "Well, maybe the others just didn't think to give you a chance." She smiled in what she hoped was an encouraging way. "I know I'm happy that we're speaking together at least; everyone else is missing out."

When he went on to talk about Clan cats, she shuffled her paws uncertainly.
"I... I don't know about that." She said, not wanting him to be upset with her for disagreeing. "It's true that we look out for one another, but... RiverClan's been through a lot lately. Between the dogs attacks and the Great War..." She closed her eye and shuddered, the memories of clashing claws and the sounds of pain flashing through her mind. "I think... things will get better after we have a while to relax and... to mourn." She rarely knew the cats that had died, but she knew they had been important to the Clan, Hollowstep and Jaggedstar. She shook herself as the matter of prey came up and she stared at him. "Really? That's pretty cool!" She admitted with a half-smile.

"Did you have any other questions?" She asked and then, almost shyly added. "Is it okay if I ask a few? Like..." She thought about what she'd ask one of her fellow apprentices. "Like what's your favorite thing to eat? Or... is there a ForestClan for loners?" She eyed him sideways. "Loners don't believe in StarClan do they?" She asked, wrinkling her nose as though she'd scented mouse bile.

Natitsuri

 

[NatiStorm]

Split shrugged a bit at Lostpaw's surprise and suggestion that the other cats are missing out on not conversing with him. He felt that if the other clan cat's couldn't think to give him a chance, it meant they were pretty selfish but decided not to say anything. Nearly all of his interactions with clan cats had been from the other clan as well but he didn't mention that either. Although he felt it, he would not admit it, but Split was happy that they were speaking together as well.

He listened as she went on to talk about things that had happened to her clan. Dog attacks were never good and Split assumed that with the way she mentioned it, it hadn't ended well for her clan. A great war didn't sound much better. For so many cats to go through such tragic sounding events must create a lot of tension. Looking at the young she cat, Split wondered how she fit in to the dog attacks and great wars. Lostpaw spoke of the events as if she was there. To see such things at such a young age... Split thought back to his own traumas of living alone at a young age. Maybe he had more in common with this she cat than he thought.

Split lifted a brow as he was drawn back from his thoughts to the conversation. His favorite thing to eat? He'd never thought about it and took a minute to think about it. "Well..." He started but came up short and thought more, racking his brain for all of his favorite kills. "I think my favorite thing to eat would be rabbit, the greyish inside bit. Fish and some birds are also enjoyable though."

Lostpaw's other questions stumped him. "ForestClan for loners? Starclan?" He asked, echoing her question. "I'm not sure what you mean. I don't belong to any clan."

belloblossom

 

[belloblossom]

Lostpaw nodded when he mentioned the part about rabbits.
"I don't think I've ever had that grey thing before, but it sounds tasty! I did try a pigeon once, back in LightningClan. I was born there and it's where my mom's from, but she moved to RiverClan with me and Wasppaw, that's my brother. I think Wasppaw mostly wanted to join because Stonebelly, our-his father, was joining, but it's nice to have my family here. Anyway, we don't really get pigeons in RiverClan, mostly water prey. I'm becoming pretty accustomed to these silver-scaled fish, I think they're called carp?" She shook her head and shrugged. "I can't remember. Anyway, those are my favorite." Not that he'd asked.

As he answered her question about ForestClan and StarClan, she felt a bit relieved.
"You'd know if you followed StarClan. Those pompous cats, trying to take away our right to live the way that we want to and... and all the killing that had to be done just to prove points and-" She shook her head. "I'm glad you don't side with them. But... if you don't follow in with ForestClan either, then...what happens to loners when you die?" She looked at Split with wide eyes, but didn't see immediate understanding so she went on.

"When a RiverClan cat dies, we join ForestClan. It's... well, it's a dark forest, but it's not scary. It's like... when you walk through a forest on a night when the moon is shaped like a claw, so that there's shadows everywhere, but they're good shadows." She frowned a little. "It's a little hard to explain, but after you've died you can go there." She puffed up her chest proudly. "Or you visit them in your dreams. So long as you believe in them and what they follow, you can visit them. At least, I think that's how it works. I'll have to ask Honeystar..." She trailed off and then looked up at Split again. "Anyway, I just wanted to know if there was a place like that for loners. There has to be, right?" She couldn't imagine simply ceasing to be. Even if it wasn't ForestClan, Split must know that he was going somewhere after he died!

Natitsuri

 

[NatiStorm]

As the young she cat spoke, Split licked the top of his paw absently as he listened. His perky ear twitched at her correction of 'our father' to just 'his father'. He wondered if it was her choice to disown her father or if she had been disowned. Glancing up at her from his grooming, he made an assumption.

Split blinked, wide eyed in shock as he was asked a question never asked to him before. He'd never thought about what would happen to him after he died. His family hadn't mentioned it to him before he left them and he tried his best not to think about the ever impending doom of death looming right around the corner as it always was with life as a loner.

"I'm always so busy trying to figure out how to stay alive that I don't really have much time to think about what happens after death." He said, trying to hide the fact that he just didn't want to think about it.

He listened to her talk about ForestClan and StarClan. To him, ForestClan defiantly sounded liked the better of the two. "I don't know if those clans take loners but ForestClan sounds like the better one for sure."

It was nice to think that he'd be able to see Lostpaw in another life, but being forced into the life of a clan cat didn't sounds super appealing. What did dead clan cats even do? Would the dead clan cats be as mean as the live ones? Would they even let a cat like him join? His head exploded with questions that he didn't have answers to.

"I don't know if loners have a place like that. If we do, my family didn't mention it." He answered honestly and then after a long pause added, "I don't know what will happen."

belloblossom