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Name: Cefai (Will be C'fai)
Age: 24 turns as of 3575.13.03
Nameday: 3551.12.18
Sex: Female (Cis, She/her)
Sexual Orientation: Bisexual with a strong female lean
Craft: Smith. Had a brief fling as a Healer apprentice (likes plants/herbs) but dropped out/switched shortly after joining.
Rank: Journeyman, Candidate
Location: High Reaches Weyr

Physical Description: Cefai is an absolute tank of a woman. While her figure is not as bulky as the word "tank" implies, she is still clearly muscular. With wide shoulders and hips, but no shortage of wideness about the rest of her, she is certainly strong-looking. She has, as a result, a natural strength that she works to maintain and improve on. Additionally, she is tall, about an inch or two over 6'. While she certainly has curves, they are more sturdy than voluptuous. Overall, she has a bit of an Amazonian build.

Her clothing style is simple and practical. She likes pockets, neutral colors (olives, blacks, grays, and browns--but not whites, they stain too easily), and of course, pants. She is often seen wearing gloves for traction in her grip. Cefai likes boots, preferring the more practical and simply colored. She tends to avoid jackets, preferring to show off the chain-like tattoos that cover her arms. The tattoos are partially symbolic of her craft--metalsmithing--but also remind her of her need to maintain containment around herself. Also, she thought they looked cool.

Her hair is worn long, in a ponytail with a slight wave. She has straight, simple bangs, with a little bit of chin-length hair hanging around the sides of her face. Raven black in color, it seems at odds with her lighter, amber-colored eyes. While her eyes are not exactly pale, they are striking in color, with flecks of darker and lighter colors. Certainly more interesting than the uniform black of her hair. Cefai's skin is tanned, but not heavily so, and despite being white, she does not burn easily. Her complexion is relatively even, without any spots, freckles, or patches of color.

Personality: Above all else, Cefai wants others to be happy and safe. Even if that means sacrificing herself, she's willing to do whatever it takes. If, by some chance, the only way to save others is to hurt someone, even if she cares about them, she knows not to hesitate. While some may think her cruel, it comes from a strong compassion for the suffering of others. She seems harsh and cold, of course, but she just needs to do what's best for others. Which, of course, she knows best on! She feels surprisingly keen empathy for the suffering of others, and despite her quickness to act, she feels a strong amount of guilt over any actions that may hurt others--even if she knows it was the right decision. In short, she is willing to do whatever it takes to keep the greatest number of people safe. She'd rather not harm another (but has no problems with self-sacrifice), but will do so without hesitation.

She doesn't mind sacrificing her own happiness for the sake of others; perhaps this is why she puts so little into communication. It doesn't matter if her best friend begins to hate her. As long as she is doing what is best for them, that's all that matters. She's willing to be a scapegoat, to take the blame. She tends towards self-sacrifice more often than not. It's not always necessary, but it's the first action she chooses. This mostly manifests in a willingness for others to hate her. She doesn't enjoy being hated, but sometimes, in order to make people happy and safe, you need to act without them understanding why, and sometimes, their best interest isn't what they think. It's a flawed view, to say the least, but she believes strongly that her suffering is necessary to make others happy.

Cefai is the poster child for poor communication styles. She tends to sabotage her own relationships by either refusing to communicate and just doing things on her own, keeping her feelings to herself. It isn't that she lacks empathy--she just doesn't realize that people can be upset because of her actions. She sees her actions as the best possible option, but doesn't realize that relational hurt is still hurt. As a result, her relationships are often quite tumultuous, filled with strife and argument, often ending poorly. She has a strong tendency not to tell others things, be it how she feels or why she is doing something. She just does what "needs" to be done, without telling people WHY, or giving warning. Her judgment may be as flawed as anyone else's, but she still sees it as more capable than anyone else's. She tends to assume others are less capable than they are, and that she is more capable, despite her insecurities. She knows best, obviously, and you don't need to know the details, even if they're relevant to you.

Naturally, she tends to ruin her own relationships, mostly by not communicating. When she does communicate, it is often in the form of arguments and disagreements. She is rather good at matching the other person, so if they are calm, she will remain calm. The opposite is true. If they escalate into yelling and blaming, she does the same. Very defensive and quick to blame others, she nonetheless tends towards remaining calm, albeit in a jaded, cold sort of way.

Bitter, Cefai tends towards assuming the worst in others. She is a pessimist, with a poor view of the world. Things/people haven't been great, and she assumes that the future will be no different. She isn't aware that she's cherrypicking the bad experiences (or even that she's twisting some to be bad experiences), rather than the good, and sees every day acts of cruelty in all that others do. She is tired and apathetic, in many ways--a jaded individual who has observed others' cruelty and gotten sick of it. As a result, she keeps a strong distance between herself and others. No one really knows what she's feeling at any given moment, unless she expresses it with dry sarcasm. She's quite good at that--prone to scathing remarks that are meant to be "jokes," but she rarely apologizes if she upsets someone. She's too proud for that. If they are genuinely hurting, she may make it up to them, but an apology is a bit beyond her. Despite being socially driven, she keeps to herself most of the time, and struggles with actually seeking it out. When she does seek it out, her abrasive attitude tends to drive others away.

Cold and chilly, Cefai acts very much aloof. She's a loner and an outcast, though much of this is self-imposed. She can act in ways that appear ruthless, even cutthroat, but they have the benefit of others in mind. Her goals are to help others and benefit the greatest good for others. She doesn't seem to care about her own needs and happiness, but is willing to step on the few to benefit the many, where absolutely necessary. Her worldview is harsh, and she is not above giving people the hard "truths" that they don't want to hear. She's blunt, willing to say what she thinks needs to be said--what people need to hear, in her opinion. As a firm utilitarian, yet willing to sacrifice her own needs, and not willing to consider herself as one to benefit. It's for the sake of others, but she still is ready to hurt or sacrifice another to protect the Weyr as a whole. Not that she'd tell anyone...

Despite her proud, I-know-best attitude, Cefai is less secure than she acts. She thinks she is a bad influence on others, and a terrible person to know. People would be better off without her in their lives, so she keeps her distance, most of the time. She might feel differently should she connect with someone with a similar worldview, but for now, she keeps a strong distance due to her low social self-esteem. She doubts herself often--she just refuses to show or acknowledge it. She is often down on herself, beating herself up for any failures. Despite her "knowledge" and "expertise," she thinks of herself as worthless, the sort of person who needs to sacrifice themselves for the good of others.

She dislikes injustice, and will always voice her opinion if asked. She tries to remain true to her beliefs, but will not necessarily speak out. She obeys authority, but if given the chance in an average conversation, she will happily voice what she believes. Despite her disdain for the "natural order" of dragon colors, she strongly admires HR's discipline. She, too, has much self-discipline, in many ways. While she may lose her cool at times, she works well with regimented structure. The more structured her life is, the less she is willing to criticize it. She will always stand up for someone who is being hurt (unless it goes against the good of others), but tends to keep her more controversial opinions to herself--by necessity, rather than personality. If given an opportunity to speak out, she would, but for now, she is only a candidate, and that's unlikely to change, in her mind.

Cefai is a fighter, both physically and mentally. She is focused, determined, and decisive--working hard for others, but refusing to go down without a fight. She is tough and resilient, and her assertive streak borders on aggressive at times. That said, she usually remains collected and calm, rarely upset by what others say or do. Additionally, she enjoys physical, athletic pursuits, and trains herself in fighting, especially in the use of weapons, which she enjoys forging. Other hobbies include herbalism and botany, and she is often found with plants in her quarters. These days, she cannot find much time for her interests, but her memory for plants and her natural strength mean that she is relatively good with both. It should be noted that she has a secret love for cute things.

If nothing else, this woman is hardworking. She throws her all into everything she does, and can be a bit of a workaholic. She often forgets that there is a life outside of her duties and expectations, be they related to her craft or her candidacy. Even if she had more of a social life, she would neglect it for the sake of what needs doing. Despite all of her strength, she feels angst and pain about the loss of friendships in her life. She cares deeply, though this may surprise some. Everything she does carries guilt, but she cares. She loves strongly, and always aches when she harms someone or drives them away.

Not that it changes how she interacts...at least, not yet.

Positive Trait List focused, determined, tough, hardworking, assertive, decisive, collected/calm, socially driven but bad at seeking it out
Negative Trait List poor communication, cold, harsh, bitter, loner, self-sacrificing, insecure, blunt

History: Cefai was born the middle child of five; she did not get the chance to be an only child, or even a second child. That said, she was not the baby of the family for longer than a turn. As a result, she often got lost in the shuffle. Hold-born to a relatively poor, working family, she expected to have a similar life. Her parents worked hard for the hold, but advocated for their children to have every opportunity. Even though Cefai didn't stand out, her interest in plants was encouraged. She was able to raise several plants at all times, and her area of her room was often quite green. When she was 10, her parents encouraged her to become a healer. Her oldest sibling had gone to the healer hall, after all, and Cefai knew so much about plants...

Her second oldest sibling had gone to the smithhall, and her younger two would remain at home, working as drudges. Cefai went to the healerhall, but soon realized she had no skill with the practical application of actual healing. She had a strong memory...for plants. Less so for the treatments and procedures that didn't involve plants. After about a turn or two of trying, she ended up leaving the hall, moving to the smithcraft hall with her other sibling.

She thrived there, working hard. From a young age, she was tall and strong, able to keep up with some of the older apprentices. She learned well and excelled at her craft. After several turns of hard work, she became a journeyman. Shortly before she became a journeyman, however, the minor hold where her family--her youngest siblings, and her parents--lived was wiped out by thread. Cefai was upset, but she moved on quickly, focusing on the present. Thread was a tragedy that touched all, it seemed. She focused on her living siblings, both at her hall and at the healer hall.

At 23, she was stationed at High Reaches Weyr. She fell in love with dragons instantly, and was searched rather quickly, stepping into a new role of a candidate. After becoming a candidate, she became friends with a fellow candidate--Meroe. Meroe was very sweet, but eventually, Cefai started avoiding her. She figured she was a bad influence in Meroe's life, but did not communicate this.

Other: Likes weapons, botany, and herbalism. Studies the latter two on her own time, but doesn't have the interest in actual healing to stick with that as a career.

Candidate Specific Questions
Do you want them to have an official Search RP? No
Do you understand they will age every passing year regardless if you're there to RP the or not? Yes
Do you want them to have a possible Stands Impression? No

The personality reads all right - though I would caution you to avoid phrasing that suggests that she knows what the right thing in a situation outside of her depth is - but upon re-reading her history, there is a minor problem.

It seems that she moved on quickly from her parents' and siblings' deaths. How does she actually deal with losing them? And why is she able to move on like that? Did it influence her dealings with other people? Did it affect her at all? To be so totally unaffected seems unrealistic, especially given how empathic she's written to be.