[Softfeather x Badgerclaw] Times Changing

[belloblossom]

Softfeather hadn't been acting the same for quite some time after her fight with Greyleaf. She still went on patrols, went out hunting for her Clan, but her pawsteps didn't feel like they touched the ground. She still ate, because she knew that she would have to be nourished in order to stay alive, but the winter seemed to drag on endlessly. She'd wake up, walk into the white-covered ground and then return to camp to sleep again, if she wasn't assigned to a different task.

She wasn't allowed in the Nursery to help Greyleaf kit and so she'd gone out again and stayed out in the chilled territory far past dusk. When she'd returned, she could hear Badgerclaw's rumbling purrs from the Warriors Den. The tomcat had stayed with her sister that entire night after the kitting and well into the day that followed. She didn't try to enter the Nursery, unwilling to provoke her sister into another confrontation, especially now with little ones.

She watched the four kits from afar and had been surprised, but not unhappy, when Brightstar gave Whitepaw to Softfeather as an apprentice. She could sense her sister's displeasure and Greyleaf had done everything to keep Whitepaw and Softfeather from becoming more than a mere mentor and apprentice, but Softfeather couldn't help her delight in Whitepaw's company. They were kin! She was happy to tell her apprentice about her mother's compassion, about how they'd looked after each other after their passing. How Cloudpaw, Whitepaw's sister, had been named after their own mother.

Training Whitepaw was one of the reprieves in her life. She enjoyed her time with her apprentice. She almost wished that she could ask Brightstar to postpone Whitepaw's warrior ceremony, so that Softfeather could have more time with her apprentice. Yet, Softfeather wouldn't do that to the bright apprentice. Moons later, Whitepaw became Whitetail and she was every bit the wonderful warrior that Softfeather knew she would be. She didn't see the young warrior as often after that, except to go on patrols and surely she still enjoyed their time together, but... It wasn't the same. The feeling of being disconnected from her surroundings started to take effect again and this time, Softfeather didn't have an apprentice she could distract herself with.

I suppose I've felt this way for a while. She thought one night, as her Clan mates slept around her. Her and Greyleaf's nests used to be pressed close to one another, but after their fight, they'd moved to opposite sides of the Warriors Den, with Softfeather's nestled closer to the entrance of the den, in case she couldn't sleep and wanted to get in some moonlit hunt. Tonight, however, was a night of reflection, not of hunting. So she lay in her nest, gazing at the camp outside, cloaked in silver.

It may have started when Autumnriver, or I suppose it's Flamestar now, left. Or maybe it was when Embermist blew me off for him to leave.... Or maybe it was when Silverstreak found her mate around the same time Greyleaf found hers.... Whatever had caused it, it was practically eating away at the senior warrior now. No one needs me here anymore. No one wants me around. Silverstreak has Froststrike, Greyleaf has made it clear she wants nothing to do with me and Whitetail is a capable warrior on her own. Flamestar and Embermist went on to make their own Clan... So where do I belong in all of this? She wondered and got to her paws, creeping out of her nest and out into the chilly moonlight.

So much had changed in what seemed like such a short amount of time. Just a few days ago, Brightstar had stepped down to become an elder, making Sparrowstar the new leader and Cedarfang the deputy. Softfeather had always had grey hairs, but she was starting to feel her age... or maybe that was just the loss. She was still just as capable as when she'd first become a warrior, she told herself. Just because Brightstar had retired, on account of her failing eyesight, didn't mean that Softfeather had to. But she had one thing that she was becoming readily certain of. She looked back to the Warriors Den, where Greyleaf and Silverstreak and Whitetail and everyone she'd ever known were... Softfeather knew them, but she felt no connection with any cat anymore. She was a social cat. She was sustained by emotional connections. Since she didn't have any connections in LightningClan anymore...

"Then I'll go where I can find some." She mewed to herself. I'll have to go now. She thought and turned to move through the entrance to the Clan, pulling up short when she realized which cat was standing guard tonight: Badgerclaw.  

[belloblossom]

Badgerclaw had never been happier in his lifetime. He and the love of his life had finally managed to have a litter together! A litter containing not one, not two, but FOUR beautiful kittens! Though good StarClan, they certainly weren't kits anymore. Cloudshine, Whitetail, Torrentswipe and Magpiesong were all excellent warriors with good mentors. He was certain that Whitetail had been in good paws with Softfeather and said as much to Greyleaf.

"She may be tart and more... loose with her affections that we are." He had said to Greyleaf at the time, moons ago. "But StarClan saw fit to bestow a blessing upon her and you can't dispute the fact that she's a good warrior. Let her train, Whitepaw. It will only be for a pawful of moons anyway." He'd mewed, but that was all that had come of it with him. Greyleaf was happier to stay away from her sister and while it pained Badgerclaw to see two sisters once so close, no longer bothering to look at each other now, he knew it wasn't his place to try and repair the relationship. He had let it slip to his kits that Softfeather was their kin; their mother's sister, and StarClan knew he got a swipe to the ears for that. He wasn't about to put his fragile ears in harms way again any time soon.

He was delayed in admitting it to anyone, but he was starting to feel his age. It had become more apparent to him a few days ago, when Brightstar had stepped down as leader. He imagined that it was very hard for her to do, because she was such a dedicated leader and Clan mate. However, once she had and Sparrowstar and Cedarfang stepped up, he realized just how much time had passed. He was starting to become more lean and that wasn't just on account of leaf-bare. Great StarClan, Cloudshine had even asked him if he'd always had those silver hairs around his muzzle! No, he'd told her, he hadn't.

He'd begun to suspect that soon Brightstar and Flinttuft would have another companion in the Elder's Den, if the ache in his haunches were anything to go by. He was just getting up from his guard position at the front entrance to stretch, when a familiar face approached.
"Good evening, Softfeather." He mewed cordially, though quietly so not to disturb the peace of the quiet camp. "Out for another evening hunt?" He asked, stepping to the side for her to move passed him. He watched her carefully as many emotions crossed over her face, before she shook her head and forced a smile. His eyes narrowed. As though he hadn't seen her sister pull the same sort of forced pleasure. He could always tell when someone was lying about being happy or about relaxed. Experience and time had taught him many things, after all. "Yes, Badgerclaw. I am going out on a hunt." She replied and he blinked slowly. "For prey?" He prompted her, wondering if he should call for Sparrowstar. But... he didn't want to get Softfeather in trouble... His tail flicked, revealing his anxious energy.

"Something like that. I'll see you... later, okay?" And she tried to pass by him, but now he blocked her way. "What about Greyleaf?" He demanded quietly and she flattened her ears as he asked. "Don't you think she'll be bothered if you leave? Don't you realize how hurt she'll be?" He stared down at her. "You're sisters. Surely your bond is stronger than some petty argument." He tried to reason with her, despite his tone not sounding reasonable at all. He was so frustrated with their fight, how his kits saw it growing up, how they couldn't just get over it and go back to being happy. Why couldn't everyone just be happy with each other all the time?

"'What about Greyleaf?'" Softfeather mimicked his mew and rolled her eyes. "Greyleaf is one of the reasons I'm leaving! She doesn't want me around her, her mate or her kits! She doesn't want to be my family-my friend-my anything! I'm not going to stay in a place where I'm not wanted, Badgerclaw-I'm... I'm not happy here." And with that, all the energy seemed to leave Softfeather as quickly as it came. She drooped, the fake smile falling off of her muzzle and let out a long sigh. "I can't find my happiness in LightningClan, but don't I deserve to find it somewhere else?" She asked and looked up at him with reserved eyes. He couldn't look away from her striking silver gaze. Finally, he moved to the side and she moved past him with a hint of a smile, sad, but real, at least. "Thank you, Badgerclaw. Please... take care of my sister." She told him and he turned to watch her pad off into the night, until she was out of sight entirely. Turning back around, facing the empty camp, now one cat emptier, he continued his quiet duties and determined that come sunrise, he would approach his mate and Sparrowstar, about his retirement to become an Elder.