[solo] Navigating Loss [ Chi x Niyebe ][FIN]

[Chi Sohma]

Chihiro - Uncert
Niyebe - Uncert

Chiyo came from her pilgrimage. It was a long time since she left because her mother wouldn't allow it, not after they lost their Ami. Segurue, Aspirant Consigliere was tasked to keep Chiyo safe, after Ami's death was reported back by the Jounin that could not bring back her body.... She remembered her mother leaving for over a year to find the body but to no avail. Chiyo as Ami's sister- stayed home and close to home as to not further grief her mother... Now, she stood tall and her gait was more refined. She had her own air of mystery around her. Sporting her skull mask of her family. Her priestess sash that should be used to cover the face of the Blessed and Destined families, she wore above her skull mask. During this time away, this pilgrimage was more about how she decided to live her teen life.. and how she wanted to find who, she was. After her sister's death, she tried to ease Niyebe's PTSD of the ordeal by acting like her sister. Playing a part for the guilt and heartbroken boyfriend of her sister. But she was granted by the gods that she had bore tokens from, hanging from her skull mask, wisdom. It took her a bit longer to come home... but it was for good reason. She didn't know who she was, now that she was playing her sister. She lost herself and finally when she left... She gained insight. She knew what she had to do. For them all to move on.

Niyebe had heard that Segurue had made it in to a check point and he awaited for Airi at the entrance to greet her. His pacing made some uncomfortable while others, his patrons would come and keep him some company but he, was focused. He wanted to greet Airi first. Obliviously happy... More like, he was... sick. Ridden with delusions and living a lie. When he had not seen Airi's body- and they announced her dead- he was far from ok. He was going to ask her to be his mate when she had come back only to find out that she was dead. Well. His mind regressed and he was stuck reliving the time before she left. How they got closer, went out on dates, and simply enjoyed each other. It didn't help that she had a twin sister, no. He didn't exactly grasp that she was gone and mistook her twin sister as Airi, and his PTSD made him believe this false narrative and no one could tell him different. If they did- he would go through an extreme case of delusions. The only outcome for his mother, was to beg Lulu's daughter to act like her sister around him. To keep him sane.

That is what Chiyo did... until this last outing.

She came back, full of confidence... Taking her time with her strides. She had undergone so much change in the last year that one could barely recognize the once cry-baby.

Chiyo... her birth name.... that she could put to rest finally. Now, she would be fulfilling her life with her priestess name, Chihiro.

When Niyebe came up to her. She had slowly come to a stop to rest her sash down.

"Airi! Love! It's been too long!" Niyebe cried out and immediately went to rub their cheeks together before a paw stopped him. "Airi?"

Chihiro had moved her skull mask down, letting it hang around her neck like a necklace as she kept her sash over her face. She could see him, but the sash's position made it hard for Niyebe to look through it.

"Airi..... is gone."

She stood with her back straight.
"I'm sorry."

Niyebe chuckled. "Love... what is with all this talk.." He went to lift her veiled sash- and was stopped by the paw again.

"I am Chihiro....Airi, she is gone... The Gods are looking after her now." She moved her paw in to her satchel and pulled out a trinket. A rope that had various charms on it.

"I know this may be hard for you... but I now know how I can truly help you. Here... with me I had adventured far to collect tokens of the Gods, so they may guide through this time..." She held out the necklace so he could see each charm perfectly.

"A bead from the necklace of the Goddess of Confusion; Rokopelli. So you may start to realize that you have been living in a cloud of confusion. A seed, from the forget-me-not flowers, So the memories you have shared with my sister may never be forgotten. A tied knot named after the Goddess Oyata Katal of unrequited love. So you may move on from this unrequited love you had. A purple feather said to be from the Goddess of Denial, Takatifu. So you may safely navigate the reality you have yet to face. A bee's wing said to be a shedding of the wing of Uhamisho. God of Memories. So you may look back at the memories you have had with my sister fondly. A black vine, as to resemble of the markings of the God of Loss, Razi. So your heart and mind can finally morn the Loss of my sister, Airi. And finally.... a blue butterfly wing. Symbolizing the Goddess Anza of New Beginnings, so you may begin your life anew after grief that you will face."

Niyebe sat there... taking his time to hear her words, and look at each charm.

When she said forget-me-nots, his eyes began to water.
Tears began to hug the sides of his cheeks when she mentioned the God of Memories.
He bellowed out, a sound so profusely sorrowful when she got to the black vine of Loss.
At the butterfly wing of new beginnings, he gathered the charmed necklace and held it against his face as grief finally took over.

Those that had gathered from Niyebe's patrons all put one paw against him. A moment of silence was shared amongst them as they all had been playing along with his delusions and denial of his girlfriend's passing. Now finally... he may be able to process it and the pride shared this moment with him. At one point or another, they had all had once felt this pain..

More than Niyebe...Pass the crowd, Chihiro looked beyond it to find her mother at the back of the crowd. With her signature skull mask to hide behind. What she knew.. more than anyone that her mother mourned her daughter, but she was encouraged by the sight of her daughter, Chihiro finally coming in to her own. Pride swelled up in her chest. Though she may never utter it. A tear was felt running down her cheek and dropping to the floor where she got up and leftfrom.

Chihiro looked back at the crowd that gathered. Those that supported Niyebe, loved him, cared about him and even his mother was seen walking side by side her own mother. Chi scooped up Niyebe's upper body and hugged him.

"We all Miss her.... Hopefully now... she may rest in peace."

She would wait... As long as she had to for Niyebe to feel better.
He cried out... he uttered quotes from Airi. Muffled words of how he wished he could have saved her.

"Nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome."

"I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE!"

"Shuuu Niyebe... nothing would have changed... Everyone has a time that they must pass on to the Gods in the heavens. She is safe now... she is home."

"I SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER I LOVED HER!"

"Shuuu... Niyebe... Airi knew just how much you loved her... She knew Niyebe... She knew..."

Tears continued to stream from his face. His heart felt like it was shattering but for some reason there was a guilty relief of finally breaking through the clouds of confusion and denial. There was a sense of guilty freedom from them. How he was living, it felt like he was faking. Even when he knew that with the real Airi, he never had to fake it. Somehow he knew... in the back of his mind that this day would come.  

[Chi Sohma]

"It would not have changed anything..." She held him close til he was all cried out, and asleep. It was obvious that Niyebe was hurting for quite some time. Something that she tried to work with her mother to cure but the best they could come up with is her playing believe for him. No more. The gods she met. The wise lions and cheetahs and even a hyena has wise words that hit home for her. She pressed her paw against his head and then looked to Segurue to help her. Which he did- quickly. Without a word.

The black and blue cheetah slipped under the body of the white and blue cheetah and rose him up.

Slowly coming on to the scene was Apollo. Having been in the know that she would be coming back. He saw the tail end of her hugging Niyebe. He knew what she was doing and he stopped correcting Niyebe after a while. Something was so off about him and he didn't exactly understand the situation but regardless. Niyebe was taking Chihiro away from her duties and that was what made Apollo so upset about it but in these years. He simply watched, and maybe this moment that he witnessed, maybe the truth finally was out. Many members came to the priests and priestesses for spiritual healing, some for forgiveness of what they had done. Sometimes even guidance. Niyebe was lost... In Apollo's eyes, Niyebe was a lost soul. Niyebe only came around when 'Airi' ( Chihiro ) was around. Apollo was convinced that Chihiro was burdened with her mother's rank and living her career out on someone else's work.

What he knew about Chihiro was when she fourished about the knowledge and understanding of Gods, how each member could change their worship to their own taste, everyone's different perspectives, she was amazed by learning and imagining and playing out what a god may seem like? Sometimes when she thought no one was looking at her, she would 'act' like how she thought one god would be like, or ask them out loud, talking with them as if they were just like mortals....as if they were right there with her. He admired that passion.  

[Chi Sohma]

After they brought Niyebe to his home. Segurue stood guard as Chihiro explained to Katapatan, Niyebe's mother about what happened. She wouldn't cry, mothers shouldn't cry but it broke her. Having to watch as Niyebe's broken heart effected everyone. But what Chihiro did... no one had accomplished. Kata wasn't so fond of priestess and priest nor the gods, but she stopped and embraced Chihiro with a tight squeeze before nodding, thanking, and then going in to her den.

"Why for so long did you keep up the charade?" Segurue spoke softly and low.

"Because the mind is a very delicate and intricate muscle... To break it- it can render the creature completely dead while still awake.. and alive. We would have lost the Niyebe that could smile, laugh and contribute to the pride. To break him.. would only kill him sooner... Plus. Our long journey... meeting the gods... trading creatures that had tokens of the gods... all the wisdom we got the chance to hear. All of that, is priceless. Much more than money could offer, much more than a healer could offer or a priest or priestess. Our time was well spent... and all in all... I felt like.." She looked up in to the sky...

"We have all been holding on to the loss of my sister for so long. We lost the joys that life could bring us. It felt like our lives were frozen without her. That deep sadness that made even my mother not want to leave her bed. With Niyebe always speaking about her and waiting for her arrival, no one could let her go. Holding on made it so she could not find peace...We couldn't move on. But finally with that necklace, peace may be with my sister." Then looked back and saw Apollo heading towards the Gods shrines.

"Now I can finally be..... who I am."

Segurue knew that finding one's self was the hardest. He still was on the journey to finding himself but when he saw Chihiro accomplish this step.. It almost felt like he too, could find himself.