|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2006 8:30 pm
How is it that when the majority of people think of spousal abuse it's automatically thought to be a man who hits a woman. I hate that people look down on men who hit women as abusers, but look up to women who hit men as strong and independent. If anything that makes a woman weak and dependent on people's thinking that she is tough to make herself feel good.
Also, spousal abuse amoung gay and lesbian couples is overlooked too often. People tend to, in my experience (yeah fourteen years, real impressive I know, but bare with me.) think that because a man hits another man that it's a brawl and don't even consider it to be spousal abuse, even though the two men are partners. Likewise, people think of a woman hitting her partner as a catfight. Assault, not abuse.
Some may be thinking "What's the difference? Assault, abuse. They're both illegal, and the person will go to jail." Legally, I suppose it doesn't make much of a difference, unless the sentence is drammatically different and I don't know about it. But morally and considering the human value it makes a huge difference. I'm sure that a victim of spousal abuse doesn't want their abuser to be charged with assault, when they know that's not really what it is.
I suppose my point is this. Society has been so influenced by the media (i.e. crime dramas like "Law and Order" and "CSI") that they've been fooled into thinking that spousal abuse is only a man hitting his wife. There's more to it than that and I really wish that the media would reflect that.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 5:30 am
That is so incredibly true. Though the first thing I thought about when you were talking about gay and lesbian spousal abuse (though technically that's incorrect seeing as they can't be married in many countries) I thought of an episode on Law and Order: SVU where they had to look into a case about that.
It really is sick how people totally overlook women on men abuse. Same goes with men that get raped by women. What's scary about it is that there isn't any proof unless the woman beat the s**t out of him, in which case he would be made fun of and laughed at for being a pansy. Everyone assumes that either the woman was raped and he's just trying to get out of it or it was consentual and they just got into a fight so he decided to go and say he was raped.
I can't stand women who do these things to their boyfriends and husbands and are even looked up to for standing up for yourself. It's not standing up for yourself, it's being a cold hard b***h that seriously needs to get slapped up. In this case though, if a man does fight back, automatically he was beating on her and she was defending herself. It's so sad. My boyfriend and I talk about it sometimes. In fact we talk more about the girls being abusive than the man.
It really makes me feel ashamed of our culture.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 9:59 am
There does tend to be a rare "once-in-a-blue-moon" episode of Law and Order or some other crime drama that does depict something other than man on woman abuse. But, I guess my main point was that it's disgusting that women who abuse their husbands/boyfriends are looked up to.
I hadn't really thought about rape. Or women claiming self-defense, while men can't really do the same and be believed, but what you said about both is true also.
Another thing that is often overlooked (maybe not as often, but still too often) is a woman abusing a child. A lot of people think about men as child abusers. But, that seems to be slowly but surely improving. So maybe we can hope for the same of spousal abuse.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 1:08 pm
Cases of mothers abusing children have been gaining more and more steam, a great deal of insight into the matter coming from the acclaimed book "A Child Called It." I haven't personally read the book, as I don't really have the stomach for those kinds of things, but it details how his mother abused and neglected him, and helped many other people come forward about maternal abuse.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 2:14 pm
dboyzero Cases of mothers abusing children have been gaining more and more steam, a great deal of insight into the matter coming from the acclaimed book "A Child Called It." I haven't personally read the book, as I don't really have the stomach for those kinds of things, but it details how his mother abused and neglected him, and helped many other people come forward about maternal abuse. Like I said, that problem is becoming more and more recognized. I suppose we can only hope that the same eventually happens for wife-on-husband/girlfriend-on-boyfriend abuse and that girls will stop looking up to women/girls who do that...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 6:39 pm
ninja_penguin92 How is it that when the majority of people think of spousal abuse it's automatically thought to be a man who hits a woman. I hate that people look down on men who hit women as abusers, but look up to women who hit men as strong and independent. If anything that makes a woman weak and dependent on people's thinking that she is tough to make herself feel good. Also, spousal abuse amoung gay and lesbian couples is overlooked too often. People tend to, in my experience (yeah fourteen years, real impressive I know, but bare with me.) think that because a man hits another man that it's a brawl and don't even consider it to be spousal abuse, even though the two men are partners. Likewise, people think of a woman hitting her partner as a catfight. Assault, not abuse. Some may be thinking "What's the difference? Assault, abuse. They're both illegal, and the person will go to jail." Legally, I suppose it doesn't make much of a difference, unless the sentence is drammatically different and I don't know about it. But morally and considering the human value it makes a huge difference. I'm sure that a victim of spousal abuse doesn't want their abuser to be charged with assault, when they know that's not really what it is. I suppose my point is this. Society has been so influenced by the media (i.e. crime dramas like "Law and Order" and "CSI") that they've been fooled into thinking that spousal abuse is only a man hitting his wife. There's more to it than that and I really wish that the media would reflect that.
A man striking a woman.
This same conclusion though is not only unfortunately drawn in terms of abuse, but it has also been commonly done with rape as well.
For who is or can say that a woman is not at all capable of hitting or raping a man? Or who could say that even in a relationship involving two women or two men that one of the partners could not be acting harmfully against another?
It is something that needs to be considered acknowledged, and done something about.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 6:37 pm
I don't think that any spouse that hits there partner is worthy of respect because they don't have respect for themselves or their relatiionship.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 4:59 pm
Actually CSI had an episode about a man being abused and raped by a group of women.
Besides the point! It's only 50% the fault of the abuser, and half the fault of the abused. I despise the women and men who let their spouces and partners push them around, and still consider it alright or even blame it on themselves. If anything, what the media should do is to stop promoting the domminence of one partner, when it should be the corporation of both. Why should there always be a "woman" in the relationship? Why should one person wear the pants in the house? And why can't people just draw a line halfway and stand by it?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 8:57 pm
BabyKatZ Actually CSI had an episode about a man being abused and raped by a group of women.
Besides the point! It's only 50% the fault of the abuser, and half the fault of the abused. I despise the women and men who let their spouces and partners push them around, and still consider it alright or even blame it on themselves. If anything, what the media should do is to stop promoting the domminence of one partner, when it should be the corporation of both. Why should there always be a "woman" in the relationship? Why should one person wear the pants in the house? And why can't people just draw a line halfway and stand by it? Your idea is a lot like communism. I great idea on paper, but destroyed by the human element. If it weren't for the need for one to be dominant and the other submissive, this issue would be virtually nonexsistant.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 8:13 am
also anouther thing you must consider is how the courts can be biased:
example: a man and woman have a son and devorce the mother gets priority over the son becuase the courts deam that a child needs a mother but what about a good father figure in the childs life. if the child doesnt get a decent male role-modle in his life he might turn out to be a outcast later in life.
i know this doesnt anlways happen but it happens more times then not
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 9:43 am
ninja_penguin92 BabyKatZ Actually CSI had an episode about a man being abused and raped by a group of women.
Besides the point! It's only 50% the fault of the abuser, and half the fault of the abused. I despise the women and men who let their spouces and partners push them around, and still consider it alright or even blame it on themselves. If anything, what the media should do is to stop promoting the domminence of one partner, when it should be the corporation of both. Why should there always be a "woman" in the relationship? Why should one person wear the pants in the house? And why can't people just draw a line halfway and stand by it? Your idea is a lot like communism. I great idea on paper, but destroyed by the human element. If it weren't for the need for one to be dominant and the other submissive, this issue would be virtually nonexsistant. Ninja Penguin... for a 14 year old... you are quite brilliant. Your insight is very advanced. smile Keep it up.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 10:56 am
Grypesagon ninja_penguin92 BabyKatZ Actually CSI had an episode about a man being abused and raped by a group of women.
Besides the point! It's only 50% the fault of the abuser, and half the fault of the abused. I despise the women and men who let their spouces and partners push them around, and still consider it alright or even blame it on themselves. If anything, what the media should do is to stop promoting the domminence of one partner, when it should be the corporation of both. Why should there always be a "woman" in the relationship? Why should one person wear the pants in the house? And why can't people just draw a line halfway and stand by it? Your idea is a lot like communism. I great idea on paper, but destroyed by the human element. If it weren't for the need for one to be dominant and the other submissive, this issue would be virtually nonexsistant. Ninja Penguin... for a 14 year old... you are quite brilliant. Your insight is very advanced. smile Keep it up. aye and maby you shall be a world leader someday if people get it out of their danm heads that only men can be presidents
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 3:29 am
ninja_penguin92 How is it that when the majority of people think of spousal abuse it's automatically thought to be a man who hits a woman. I hate that people look down on men who hit women as abusers, but look up to women who hit men as strong and independent. If anything that makes a woman weak and dependent on people's thinking that she is tough to make herself feel good. Also, spousal abuse amoung gay and lesbian couples is overlooked too often. People tend to, in my experience (yeah fourteen years, real impressive I know, but bare with me.) think that because a man hits another man that it's a brawl and don't even consider it to be spousal abuse, even though the two men are partners. Likewise, people think of a woman hitting her partner as a catfight. Assault, not abuse. Some may be thinking "What's the difference? Assault, abuse. They're both illegal, and the person will go to jail." Legally, I suppose it doesn't make much of a difference, unless the sentence is drammatically different and I don't know about it. But morally and considering the human value it makes a huge difference. I'm sure that a victim of spousal abuse doesn't want their abuser to be charged with assault, when they know that's not really what it is. I suppose my point is this. Society has been so influenced by the media (i.e. crime dramas like "Law and Order" and "CSI") that they've been fooled into thinking that spousal abuse is only a man hitting his wife. There's more to it than that and I really wish that the media would reflect that. i was in training at daycare as a caregiver and mandated reporter for child abuse, when our trainer said to look out for lesbians. i know this sounds biased and unfair, but he said that their relationships were most passionate and volatile and could often involve knife attacks. when kids get into the mix, their life is at risk. having said that, the nicest couple i =ever knew were my friend's parents, a lesbian couple; she of course as a teen was defiantly straight! so you can't generalize, but the point that it's not just men who get abusive is well taken.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
