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 Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 10:51 am
Dread it sways with the howl of the wind
It gnaws at your mind like a cat in heat
Then destroys your conscience
And then moves on
Dread it moves from house to house
Stealing sleep and the souls of others
Leaving them lonely
And then moves on
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Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 12:06 pm
it's so deep. i like it. i think you just have to use more punctuation to add a little to it, but other than that, it was great! write more soon!
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Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 2:20 pm
Ok. I really like it, but I think it would look better with some punctuation, a bit of moving around, and less of the word 'then'. I'm not going to steal your poem, but I think it would look better like this.
Dread;
It sways with the howl of the wind.
It gnaws at your mind like a cat in heat.
It destroys your conscience,
And then moves on.
Dread;
It moves from house to house
Stealing sleep, and the souls of others,
Leaving them lonely,
And then moves on.
Since 'Dread' is your theme, it should stand out instead of blending in. Anywho, keep up the excelent poems.
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Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2007 11:40 am
I agree with her. You ideas are good, you just need to present it better.
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