im holding onto past things and ppl....im so messed up, i think i just set myself up for a big dissapointment, he ran away from me why would he ever want to be my friend, but its not my fault, i waited for months, not even a letter, he could have went to a library if he cared so much about me. ppl kept telling me those things, it was making me more and more depressed.... i dont think i ever really hated him, i just was hurting and hate makes you feel better because it blocks out other emotions. hes the only guy i ever had or knew that i couldnt b***h at, just insecure always thinking he wasnt real, i dont even know if he was or is, but he made me feel special. i wonder if he would be my friend again, probably not, he probably thinks im so screwed up that i need to be put away for life, and maybe hes right. i cant help it, ive been trying for so long, maybe i will never be normal, i hate me...
 lil_qt_cat1 · Sun May 27, 2007 @ 11:02am · 0 Comments |
