You know I get a lot of people wondering who I am and what im like. I always give them the same answer but some just don't get it. I have to explain it over and over again. Some say im emo because of the clothes I wear and music I listen to and some say im Goth cause im hardcore and I love metal music, Not to mention I wear leather bands on my wrists as well as stylish black clothing. No I don't wear makeup or girlish style clothing. But what some seem to forget is I don't like being labeled stare
The words "Emo" and "Goth" are styles and stupid words people came up with. I don't fit into either of those two styles. I have my own style and don't copy anyone else in any way. I am "Me" and its simply just that. But yet people still fail to realize that even if I explain it to them like that.
I can say what I am in just some words:
Loving
Caring
Curious
Friendly
Talkative
Open Minded
Fierce
Creative
Blissful
Ambitious
Full of Knowledge
Much more than just those but you get the picture...
Though im not perfect (But then again who is) I try to make the best of situations no matter what its about. Ive had my fair share of mistakes and still forget to let them go and move on. Im mature but im slowly learning I can still be just as immature >_<
This year alone has by far been the worst year for me since ive let so many people down and was almost at the end of my rope. I have such close and loving friends who're so far away I wish could comfort me but most of the time its just me doing it. I don't let too many people get close enough to me for fear of having them get too attached to me. I guess you could call me Anti social. However, Im not. I love hanging out with new people to get to know them. But when it comes to something more.. Ive learned not to get too attached myself the hard way. But having someone do so for me would be too painful if they lost me.
My birthday is coming up soon too. Going to be 22... and what am I going to celebrate? The fact that ive been a complete ******** for the past 21 years of my life? Maybe but who knows. I want things to change already but every time I go for something I want I never reach it. Something happens or things change and it all goes downhill from that point forward. I don't give up so easily when it comes to anything but sometimes I just force myself to give up. Sometimes I even feel like this kid stuck in an adults body because its what ive been these past 21 years. I know how to work a job and pay my own bills and all but ive been relying on people for too long. Ive lived with my older brother for the past several years and in between my father and him things always went downhill because I lied and cheated my way through everything. I know that makes me horrible but im slowly learning to stop with the lying.
Now that im back with dad at the age of 21 I totally feel like a complete loser who deserves nothing. I know thats the part that makes me sound emo but believe me im not. I still do what needs to be done even if it kills me. I certainly hope that for this upcoming year I manage to grow up and finally get my s**t together and finally be out on my own. And thats just another thing im sick of, Being with other people for too long and not being able to just take care of my own damn self.
Blah anyways yeah thats me. I have issues just like anyone else but I am still in the end "Me" and thats who I always intend to be. Sure I need to make some changes on my maturity level but its in progress slowly and surely.
 -DeathlyDan · Tue Dec 18, 2007 @ 11:53pm · 0 Comments |
