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So that's what happened... Don't worry, I'd never say that to you. I mean it. Believe me. It's happened to me a few times before and I know how it feels.

.... it's just that at my old school, everyone knew me, either feared me, hated me, loved me, wanted to kill me, whatever it was about ME. Just ME and only ME. You don't know what it's like, not being a prep and yet so easily taking the spotlight from them, the incredulous looks on their faces, the feeling of being the middle of the universe, to be liked and loved and talked to, to be happy, to be free, to be what was damn close considered perfect, to not be asked why i don't have a smile on my face, to not be asked why i look so depressed, to not be asked why i'm so quiet, cuz it was already understood why i was, i felt brilliant and beautiful. i know i sound a little more than little conceited right now, but it was so damn GREAT to be FREE and act like a kid just because i wanted to, just because it was natural, just because i was one. Not because i wanted to remember what it was like back then, not because i wanted to hide from my fears or my worries, because back then, I HAD NO WORRIES, I HAD NO FEARS! What i would give to revive what i had lost, if only, if only i was sure that would never happen to me again. I had considered Kaitlin to be my BEST friend then, and that some day when i was happily married with however many kids, she'd still be THERE for me. What if that happened again? You know how LONG it took to make my parents forget about stuff like that, you know how PAINFUL it was to look them in the eye and pretend that i didn't know who they were talking about, you know how BAD it was to lie to them and act like every day of my life was a freakin' piece of cake? No, you don't, no don't realize how bad my plummet from the sky was, you don't realize that this kitty not only lost it's wings, but those wings had been CHOPPED off and TORN to PIECES. They say a kitty has 9 lives, then what happens if that kitty lost more than 9 lives and still manages to act like everything's okay, act like not being able to catch its breath or find its heart has stopped beating is OKAY and that its just FINE.

There I've poured my heart out....

... That must be horrible... To have all that and lose it. This kitty never had wings. In grade school everybody knew me, but I was basically the school geek, the freak, the nerd, the weirdo, the person nobody wanted to hang out with, the person that will help you when you're down but you forget to thank once you're back up again, the person who you were too cool for, the person that was basically a springboard for you, the person who's only real friends (a.k.a. the ones that didn't desert and/or betray her) moved across the country at some point or another... It wasn't only until last year when we left the elementary school that I was able to leave that behind me. Still, last year I had 2 real friends, one of which I haven't seen in a year, and the other of which I hardly ever see any more.

i didn't know Corrin was a part of this....man i thought she was nice too....
i would never do that to you ever....and you know it

how can i? because you were the only one that wanted to be friends with me after that? i can act as tough as i want, but you all know that inside... it's still- i'm still as vulnerable as i was back then.