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O.O

Wow... I thought I was going to have to change stuff... But, not that much...




Christine pulled the violin a little closer to herself, still slightly uncomfortable around the other children. This impromptu serenade had given her an idea. "My name's Music...what's yours?"

"My name is Ninja, but I prefer Kuno," said girl spoke softly. Molly saw the girl who introduced herself as Music pulling out her violin.



Her violin is already out: This is the sort thing that happens with RPs.

Also, when Ori is all like "LOOK A MOTORCYCLE biggrin D," can you make it so that it says this:

"Really? Wow, your alias is cool! From what I heard, not very many aliases were normal names!" She giggled at the end of her sentence, and looked out the window. "OOH! LOOK!" She pointed at a motorcycle they passed. "Isn't that one cool?" She sighed like a fan-girl and turned backwards in her seat to watch it and daydream.

Thanks, Volital! Everything's changed and edited! I changed "violin" to "violin case" as the case was mentioned earlier.

Did I change too much though? I changed hardly any wording other than adding "meanwhile" and stuff like that. I had to rearrange quite a bit, but did I do too much?

The violin wasn't out at all, actually. When I say violin, I mean the case. I guess that was a mistake on my part, since I was unclear about it... -shrug-
I've got the whole thing in my journal...if anybody wants to look it over.
It's long as hell, though.

I found an error to fix! It's when Watari says "Gather you're things. We're leaving." The "you're" needs be changed to "your."

Thanks bunches!