"Yuki...." The voice was very faint, but I still heard it. It sounded like a lost puppy. I ignored it and tried going back to sleep.
"Yuki....iie....Yuki, onegai...yamete-yo...." I opened by eyes to what voice was saying. Shuichi? Was he talking to me? I wasn't touching him. My back was even turned to him, cause I like to sleep on my side. Shuichi, I don't think, minded that. I rolled over and propped myself in my elbow to look over Shuichi's shoulder to his face. My eyes widened.
His face was very flustered and he was panting heavily. I could even see sweat on his eyebrows. His eyes were moving quickly underneath his eyelids. He was having a bad dream again. But this one was about.....me.....doing something bad to him.
"Yuki.....onegai......yamete...." He breathed slowly. I reached over and slowly rocked his shoulder to wake him.
He shot up quickly and panicked. He was screaming bloody murder. Like he was still having a bad dream. His eyes where glazed over, so he must be wondering if he's still dreaming or not. He looked around franticly, not quite looking at anything.
I moved over to sit in front of him, on his legs, so he would stop kicking and freaking out. I straddled his legs and grabbed his face with my hands.
"Shuichi! Calm down! Shuichi, your awake. It's me, Yuki! Daijobu desu!" I yelled at him. I rubbed my palms along his the sides of his face, calming him. I stared into his eyes, as they looked like they started to look at me and not in oblivion. As he looked at me, his eyes widened again and Shuichi grabbed my wrists and tried to pull my hands away from his face.
"Sawannai-de!" He tried pulling his legs away from under me. I was shocked to hear that. He was the one always hanging on me every time I walked in the door and I know he savourved every time I touched him. Now he didn't want me to touch him? What's going on? I was starting to get angry.
"Baka, it's me, Yuki. Watashi...." For some reason all my anger stopped and I felt like crying. He didn't want me to touch him. But that's all I ever want to do all day. To touch him everywhere. To roam his slim silky skin and make love to him passionately. That's all I wanted to do. For some reason it hurt me to hear him say 'Don't touch me.'
Shuichi's eyes seemed to go back to normal and he started crying. Like I wanted to.
"Yuki....."
I reached for him and pulled him into a tight embrace. I never wanted to let him go. At first he tensed, but after a second he melted into my embrace and molded his body with mine. He wrapped his arms around my neck and burrowed his head in the crook of my neck and he held the back of my head with his soft small hands. He knew I liked that. Even now, he was thinking about how to please me. He really needs to think about himself more often.
"Yuki....gomen-nasai. Ore...Ore....." His voice was hourse and his throat sounded dry. My heart skipped a beat when he suddenly went limp. His arms slid from my neck and hung beside him.
I lowered him onto the bed, my legs still straddling his small form. He was still awake. Or so I thought. He looked dead.
"Shuichi.....are you okay?" I didn't know what to do.
"I don't know. I can't move. Arrrg, what's going on, Yuki? Is there something wrong with me?" He looked away from my eyes and over to the wall. I felt a sudden pang in my chest when he wouldn't look me in the eyes. I felt ignored.
"No, you're just fine. You're body is just exhausted, so it shut down. You'll be fine come morning."
All he said was 'oh' to the air. Not once looking at me. I don't like being ignored. But....this must be how Shuichi feels every time I ignore him. I just felt terrible. I do that to him every other day and he still says he loves me and always comes back to me. He never leaves me. I like that but I know I don't deserve it. Shuichi.....my little Shuichi, deserves so much more then I can ever give him. I'm always so selfish and concieted and that doesn't seem to bother my pink haired lover. But I know deep down that he knows he needs more. More love. More attention. I love Shuichi. I have always loved him. I'll always hold him close to my heart, cause he was the one that opened my eyes. My thoughts will save our futrure. I know what I have to do. I have figured it out.
I'm going to leave Shuichi. For good.
Lovelessxx00 Community Member 
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