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Haven't updated in awhile |
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Mainly because everytime I open this thing, I forget what I was going to type.
I had a huge fight with my mom last night.
Actually, no, let me rephrase that.
My mom screamed her guts out at me last night. I was just trying to ignore her. Which probably just made it worse, but if I'd said any of the things I'd wanted to say I would have been immedietly kicked out of the house, rather than informed of the fact that I have to start saving up and move out as soon as I'm capable.
I don't think she means that anymore, but I'm still going to start.
I do feel I 'contribute as much to the family' as my brother does, and he's still living at home, three years older than I am. I think it's my mother, you know, going through some stuff that she didn't have to go through when Greg was my age.
And he's not getting yelled at, for some reason.
I'm trying to figure out exactly what it is about me that makes my mother treat like s**t all the time.
According to her it's because I'm a selfish b***h who 'treats her like a second class citizen'.
Bullshit, I treat her the same way I treat everyone else, she just reacts to it differently.
She's always picking fights with me, last night it was over a brussels sprout and a bowl of ice cream.
I loathe brussels sprouts. I cannot stand them.
The smell, the taste, the texture of them *shudder*
and she was trying to make me eat them at supper.
I'm eighteen years old, I should be able to decide what I do and don't eat, shouldn't I?
Anyhoo, I had everything else on that table that I don't like, just to appease her, but when it came to the brussels sprout (a single ******** brussels sprout) I put my foot down, I said 'no, I hate them, I won't eat it.'
She got pissed and told me it would help me live longer.
ONE ******** SPROUT!
I mean, this argument obviously works well enough on her side, too, why couldn't I eat one sprout?
Because I didn't want to.
It would have made me want to vomit.
Yeah, so since the entire day was going like that, I felt I needed some chocolate to cheer me up. So I went and I got a bowl of chocolate ice cream.
I ate it.
My mother came in, and criticized me for eating it and told me it was bad for me.
Obviously it's ******** bad for me. It's ******** ice cream.
Jesus ********, you bought the ******** ice cream. Obviously someone is going to eat it.
I said 'yeah', and jokingly gave her a thumbs up.
She gave me a dirty look and left the room, returning about twenty minutes later with her whole Martyr act.
'Why do you have to do this to me all the time, Monika?
I'm only concerned about you!
I do this because I care about you!'
Yeah, no s**t mom. You do it ALL THE ******** TIME, though.
But I didn't say that I said 'I know, mom, I'm sorry'
She continued.
I stopped apologizing, and just didn't respond.
She proceeded to ban me from the computer, television, and videogames for a week. I said 'okay.'
Seriously. I ******** said 'okay' and proceeded to shut down the computer.
She then got pissed off because the computer wouldn't shut down fast enough.
I told her I was shutting it down as we spoke, and it would just take a few minutes.
She sent me to my room neutral
I went to my room, and proceeded to draw for awhile, waiting for her to come in and make a long sobbing apology, like she usually does, and I would have to accept it because I didn't want her to scream at me anymore.
Well, she cried in her room about how bitchy I am for about a half-an hour, and that's when I turned out the light and turned on the music.
For once she didn't come in and expect me to forgive her.
She just went to sleep.
I have a feeling she still thinks it's my fault, but this morning she was treating me extra-nice for awhile.
Then she got pissed off at me because there was an accident on the bridge and we were delayed 10 minutes.
Then she was all nice again, and started talking about christmas presents, even though she'd told me the night before she wasn't going to get me anything for christmas.
(of couse, my response to that was 'I thought you were already not getting me anything for christmas. Is this for next year then?' Which porobably wasn't the wisest move. that was before I decided it was better for my healthg if I just shut up)
So yeah, I guess what I've learned from all the fights with my mom is that whenever she says something in anger, she's obviously going to take it back the next day.
- You're never having your friends over again
- You're not getting anything for christmas this year
- I'll remember this next time you ask me to do something nice for you
- I'm never giving you another cent out of my pocket, you little b***h.
- You're banned from the (insert electronic device here) for the next (insert time frame here)
So from now on, whenever she threatens me, I just say 'okay.'
Because it's obviously not going to happen.
Yeah.
Possibly the longest journal entry so far, and written almost entirely for venting.
If you read the whole thing, thanks for caring.
I heart you.
 Kashi Mori · Mon Nov 22, 2004 @ 03:15pm · 5 Comments |
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