i'm standing in front of them yelling, pleading them to look at me..pleading them to do something....to change how i feel and what i think
but they just sit there and laugh...they're laughing at me...they're laughing at the fact that i believed their bullshit...that i believed that they actually cared...that i was actually someone
and all i can do is look down and laugh at myself....laugh at the fact that i thought this time it was going to be different....laugh at the fact that i got hurt again....that i got hurt because of myself...that i got hurt by my blade that waits for me
but in the end all i do is smile...and tell them thanks for everything that they have done...because if it wasn't for them i would believe there was a reason to live....that there was a reason to give a ******** there was a reason to actually try
and now i'm just here....treading oceans of gray....falling down into this memorable abyss called unconsciousness....waiting for someone to come find me....waiting for that one person to pull me out before im consumed by black....
the same black that i was with before...the same black that i would die to get hold of again....the same black that i've been wishing to be with.....to let it fall around me....and to finally make the nightmares stop
but i know it will never happen.....because they don't care....because they know i'm a joke ....because they know i don't deserve to live
and you know what who can blame them.....they're right
toptobottomloser Community Member 
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