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Nothing in this world worth having comes easy.
There were weeks after the incident before Jennifer finally started acting like she was alive again. There were months, before she started to be like human. And there were years before she begun to resemble the person she once was again. She was never the same, though. She couldn't be.

With time, the cocky and arrogant girl she once was, disappeared without leaving a trace. She was crushed by a series of events that didn't let her go on, that forced her to grow up.

The sudden death of the ones you love usually does that to a person. It leaves you cold, and small, and helpless… It takes away your childhood in seconds. And that's how Jennifer, suddenly knew what losing meant. And she felt lost and weak and empty for the first time in her life. Death made her.

And it wasn't the kind of death that comes drawn between the lines of danger. It was not the kind of death we can run away from or even fight off. You see, enemies, and potions and spells; there's always a solution waiting to be found with them. Something Jennifer knew she could do if he fought hard enough.

But then, when there are no solutions, when you can't fight against the enemy… when you don't even know what the enemy is. Death is unbeatable.

She was sick for months... The doctors could never tell what happened. Suddenly, Needy just started to fade away. The strength that had always been a trait of her, vanished. And it was hastily replaced by a constant weakness.

Yes, Jennifer fought. She reached the end of the world looking for a cure. It was her duty to protect her. She needed to do it. She couldn't stand still and let her die just because she didn't know how to stop it. But time passed… leaving her behind without her even noticing.

"Come back home Jennifer."

Needy asked during a long distance phone call. Her voice was small, sheltered in a plea. But Needy didn't plead and Jennifer knew it. She claimed, she demanded.

Jennifer didn't go back home then.

She found out it was too late soon after that. She called again from The Philippines, cheered up by rumours of a possible cure at the Himalayas. It wasn't much, but it was hope.

And Rhea told her.

"Jennifer… come back home."

And before she could argue she finished with a hollow voice. "Needy died."

Everything was a void since then. She was left alone, she was defeated. No more playing boyfriend-girlfriend, no more kissing, no more cuddling and no more thank you's… and no more smiles that made her insides churn… no more Needy.

Just… no more.

And she didn't even tell her.

They never told.

The love, the caring, the secrets and the furtive stares… they were all eaten by silence… by regrets.

So yes… there were many years after, before she could talk with someone the same way she did back in the time when she had boys chasing her around, when Needy was alive… when she was invincible.

We are fragile beings, you know. Our will breaks easily. She knew, deep inside with all certainty, that she didn't love her… We get tired of leftovers, of illusions. We yearn for more. When we don't get it, either we run or we die.

That love, the one we made up in our heads, fades away sooner or later. And when it does it leaves us empty… living of nothing, with air in our souls; always dreaming with that other love. The one that just was, and will be forever.

A love to live for.





 
 
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