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Quietly Josaphina walked toward her bedroom. Her short hair fell in her sleep deprived face. She wore a long sleeve black and red striped shirt with a pair of jeans as she shuffled through the house, the arms of a mourning sister, grieving the death of her brother. She had taken up wearing make up to hide the bags under her eyes. Her skin had lost color from being hidden inside her room all day. Her family worried about her, especially when finding her mirror broken, pieced of it bloody and a few packs of cigarettes, At least two empty and one missing a few.
The teal haired girl opened her bedroom door and shuffled in, slouched down a bit. She closed the door as she shuffled through broken pieces of glass, her boots kicking them aside. She sat on her bed, lighting up the cig as the stared at the blank page of her family book. The gold edging of each page glimmered when the candle light bounced of them, winking as if they were alive. She closed her eyes then, when opening them again, She stared at the flame with a blank look. It flicked back and forth lightly. She set aside her black and red leather book then stood.
She went over to the candle, which sat beside many various colored ones that had been burnt to the end just about or ones that were half burnt. She never relit a candle, only using one per day and then leaving it, half burnt. She intently watched the candle as it flickered. "just like a tiny soul." She closed her eyes. Upon opening them they were no longer the grey ice color they had been but instead i violent and bloody red. "why is life so delicate! why did you have to leave me!" She yelled as tears rolled down her cheeks. She sobbed and angrily picked up the candle. Hot wax dripped onto her hand but she paid no mind as the wax dried onto her skin. She had burnt half this candle during the day, only removing the flame when she left her room, which was rear. She had shared the room with her twin brother, and left all his possessions as they had been the night he died. She wrapped her hand around the flame, smothering it out in anger and frustration. "Just like that and it's gone! it's all gone!" She screamed out angrily, ignoring the small burn on her hand, not the first one she had received by doing this. She then threw the candle away from her, crying as it hit the floor and rolled to join many others. Everyday a new candle, and every night the same thing. She fell to her knees, crying hard and long. 21 candles lay on the floor, some sat back up when she calmed a bit, other just lay askew. It had been 3 weeks since he had passed.
She sobbed for a good hour, until all the tears dried up and no more would come, then she just lay there, looking at the candles for a good time then to her hand. She slowly pulled the wax off her hand, not wincing as it pulled at her skin. She didn't care anymore. She moved slowly to the vanity, crawling, ignoring the little shards of glass that sliced at the palms of her hands. She pulled herself into the small stood and looked into the pieces that still stuck to the sides of the vanity mirror, looking at the mascara and eyeliner streaked cheeks. She slowly pulled the sleeves of her shirt up, staring at the cuts. She picked up a shard of glass and stared at it, then made 10 more cuts on each arm. She had over 400 cuts now, 20 for every day, 10 per arm every day. She smiled weakly as a few tears managed their way there and after a while she started sobbing again, screaming in pain and almost insane. "when will the torture end!" She screamed as she fell to the ground beside a glass chess set her brother and she would play at before his death. The pieces were all over the bored, as if in mid game. Some lay fallen over, others upright, some no longer on the obsidian and marble board. A few had blood on them, stained from when she would touch them and her blood would trickle down her finger tips onto the pieces.
Joie looked up as she heard the foot steps, heard the banging on her door. "Joie, let me in!" She didn't let either of the older boys yelling to let them in. They could use they shadows but not to get into her room. She had put some form of seal in the shadows around her room so only she could go in and out that way. She hadn't spoken to her family much since it happened. She blamed herself, simple as that. Jason wouldn't have gone if she hadn't wanted to so badly. She heard her brothers trying to break the door down, but to no avail. "Josie, you gotta eat." Her oldest spoke, worry in his voice. Her second older brother spoke out. "it's not healthy to be locked in there all day." She ignored them. The 15 year old was stubborn and didn't want to be fussed over. She would join her family for food every once in a while, when she felt hungry, but wouldn't talk. It pained her to be near Jessy, her now blind little sister.
She hadn't seen any of her friend's since the funeral for her brother. They came to visit on occasion but she wouldn't go see them, just stay locked in her room. She had spoke to Alphonse briefly through the closed door, but that was the only time. Alphonse had been her and Jason's best friend, and much like another brother. He had once gotten her to leave her room but didn't know about her cutting and smoking. None of her other friends had gotten a word out of her or been ale to get her to leave her room, though they brought gifts to try cheering her up. Moira had brought several new outfits, including the shirt and boots she wore currently, and Vanessa sent a small basket filled with a girl's best friend in emotional times: Chocolate. Though Josaphina had barely touched it.
Finally her brothers managed to get the door open and with a sigh at the scene of they girl laying on the floor, sleeves rolled up, blood on her arms, playing with the chess pieces, gingerly picked her up and carried her to the bathroom, where they cleaned the cuts, not a bit of a fight from the teal hair sister. Sam held her arms out as Chris then wrapped the wounds, then both hugged her, one after another. "Joie please, don't hurt yourself anymore." Chris spoke to her sadly as he held her close. Sam brushed out her messy hair. "Jason wouldn't want you doing this Josaphina." Sam spoke as he ran the brush through her hair. She tensed a bit at her dead brother's name. "Don't tell me what he would and wouldn't want..... you aren't Jason..... and no one can ever replace him....." She spoke quietly and in monotone. Sam nodded and quietly finished brushing her hair. Chris looked at her. "lets go eat." Joie nodded a little and followed her brothers, rolling her sleeves down and going down to dinner.
 Fearless Demon child · Wed Jun 09, 2010 @ 02:01am · 0 Comments |
