Oh man, I had a crazy dream, and I need to tell you guys about it, or stuff will explode.
Anyways, so Nyrk loses his hat, right? But it turns out it's filled with crazy holy magic and whoever wears it will SEE THE VERY FACE OF GOD. And so yeah, this crazy cultist gets a hold of it, and sees the faces of the Elder Gods. They grant the cultist dark powers, and he has the ability to turn people into zombie/reaver type-things. Anyhoo, Nyrk kills the cultist with a crossbow, but by the time he got to him, the hat was missing, and the zombie infection has already started.
[Valg] realises the potential of the zombies, and starts forging an army of them so that he can take over the world and start a zombie nazi empire or something.
So yeah, meanwhile I am eating some delicious noodles, when this
[super small Houks] falls from the sky and hits me in the head. Apparently before the cultist had died, the hat had been destroyed in an accidental fire and all of the magick inside it had gotten lose causing other crazy things to happen. Like turning her super small, and giving her the power of levitation. So anyways, she's all like "ROCK. YOU NEED TO FIND THE AGENCY. THEY WILL TELL YOU THE WAY." And I was like, "kcool" And so she teleports me to this secret underground fortress where
[Ari-V] is training soldiers to fight the zombies. And so Ari is all "Yo. I am busy doing stuff down here, so I can't go up to the surface world. But I want you to take these magic-destroying Balisong and go kill zombies for me. They've been handed down by the Verbannte ninja clan for centuries, and so they have mad powers. Although anyone outside of the clan who attempts to use them will explode, you are my clone, so I am pretty sure it is okay." And I'm all "sweet" and take them.
And so Houks teleports me back to the surface, and I'm all "I'm hungry. I'm gonna go get some seafood." And Houks is like "HEY ROCK. PRESS UP C. YOU SHOULD GO FIGHT ZOMBIES RIGHT NOW." But I ignore her, and go to eat some delicious crab, when Houks is all "HEY ROCK. PRESS UP C. SERIOUSLY." So yeah, I finally press UP C, and she is all "DON'T EAT THAT CRAB. THAT IS A PERSON." And then the crab is all "Yes, I am a person, thank you for noticing." And I am all"wtfisthiscrabsdonttalk," to which the crab replies "And how does that make you feel?" At that point I realise
[the crab is Doctor Q] and put him in my inventory.
So yeah, I finally get around to fighting zombies, and after reaching level 50, I finally go to fight Valg, because I have reached the minimum level requirement to enter SS Deathstar Supergalactik. However, he is level 2000 and pretty much kills me. And I'm all "No! Using zombies to destroy the world is evil, Valg. You won't get away with this," But Valg is all "No, the world is pretty much ******** anyways. Zombie nazi domination is just the best answer to its infinite number of problems." But sudden Doctor Q Crab scuttled out of my inventory shouting "
THE ANSWER IS FALSE." and kills everyone.
Meanwhile back on earth, Nyrk gets a
[new hat]. It is purple with a stuffed vulture on it.
The End.
