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I stared wondering what was happening. No one seemed worried, they all kept smiling. I was feeling nervous and a little scared for them. Why wasn't anybody helping them?!
I stopped dancing and watched as the people who disappeared reappear but they weren't normal anymore. They were big, scary. Sharp teeth and claws. Three times as big as they once were and now covered ina thick layer of fur, I got scared to death. Enough to wake me from that nightmare. I awoke sweating and really tired although my heart was racing.
Was it real or a dream? Yo says I was actually out tonight but I didn't believe her. I started ignoring her until she started fighting back. She'd get me into trouble, deep s**t kind of trouble. I mean, I get into trouble fine by myself but she shows up out of nowhere, taking over and making it worse. And everytime she did that, she'd always leave me to take the blame for it. Whether it was from the family to friends to strangers completely.
My family and friends I can handle. My family is very nice and forgiving and my friends know my condition. But I've had to put up with a lot of pain and suffering with the others. I don't tell everyone I meet what is wrong with me for the sake I don't get hunted down like before. And I want friends even if they were fake. Someone to hold onto, to hang out with. I was a wreck.
My family started to worry when I turned 12. Yeah, I know right. 5 years later. 5 years later and I find myself afraid of the dark still, still having nightmares constantly, still having someone talk to me in my mind. I was going nuts trying to make it all go away.
I soon started to accept what I was. Yo said it would get easier if I did. They didn't. Full moons meant hunting to me and since now I embraced the change without fighting it, it made the dead come after me. They knew fully well I wanted to transform in to that cursed beast. And they intended to make every last second of my life a living hell.
I was sane once. I had friends, dreams, I was somebody. I had more friends than anybody I knew. I was compatable with everyone. But now, my friends are few and are getting smaller. Some are moving, some just can't stand me, others.... Died.
Over the years, I assessed my weaknesses. Yo was useful after all. She told me a little about her past and how it would affect me. She was right. I am allergic to silver and other metals except gold. Especially faux metals. Yo is not really into cages, bars, collars and other prisoner type objects. I found out later when I that because of her I am now claustrophobic. I am also afraid of heights, being that she is over 300 years old and counting, she has been hanged more than once. Deep water is an issue also because of drowing although I do like to swim.
But Yo isn't afraid of the dark. She is dark. I am the one afraid of it. What it hides, what it takes, and it's just plain scary to me. If I had a penny for all the nights I've laid awake in bed until morning, I'd be richer than Bill Gates. And it's not a good thing.
Another weakness.... I don't like this one at all. And I've lost many good friends to it. Since I have the spirit of a wolf coursing through my veins, I also have the pros and cons. Sense of smell and hearing extremly good, taste as well. Hunger.. I have decided is a bad thing. The worst however is the need for comapnion.
Let's just say I hit maturity at a very early age thanks to Yo. Countless male friends have been smocked cause I couldn't control my 'feelings'. A few of the lucky ones I still have, not really feeling anything out of them but theones who possess a strong spirit or strength... Those are the ones I needed but they are all gone now. Just recently I lost another friend to teh hunger. He was nice, a great companion to least say. I enjoyed his friendship but I took it to another level. And thus ended another friendship.
 SikFox · Sun Mar 26, 2006 @ 10:42pm · 0 Comments |
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